This is a continuation from my post last week: Medicine – Part 1
The weeks turned into months and I was falling under his spell. I was turning myself all inside and out over this man. I wanted to help him realize his dreams. I spoke life into him. I helped him manifest his vision by pouring myself into him.
He worked a full-time job but had a part-time business selling custom men’s care products. I did everything I could to maximize his sales and increase his profits. I paid for advertising and a commercial. I was in love.
He told me that he couldn’t believe how blessed he was to have found someone like me. His ride or die partner is what he called me. I was his everything.
The first time we had sex I literally went to the bathroom and cried. There was so much passion and need in our bodies intertwining that I knew that I had experienced nirvana. He was the best lover that I ever had.
We spent so much time together in between his working, business travel and my schedule. I thought we were a couple. We didn’t speak about being committed but I thought it was a given when he gave me a key to his home. We were in love.
Or so I thought.
“God help me!” So much pain in my abdomen and head.
I have to stop the pain.
The sorry excuse for a motherfucker lays next to me moaning and begging for his life. He’s telling me he needs help. “Yes, you do you bitch ass for all the damage you’ve caused me.” I hold the gun to his head. He’s crying.
He’s a punk.
I don’t know what I ever saw in him. I guess I fell for that street charm. His swagger was so sexy and I do love a reformed bad boy. I gave him too much of me.
We would sit for hours discussing our families, our dreams and our future plans. He wanted to get married again. I just knew that I was the one because I had never felt like this before. I had never had a man truly love me.
Apparently, I still don’t. His lying ass loves no one but himself. I can’t believe he’s actually a father. How the hell could a selfish ass piece of shit be a good father? It’s probably because he’s such a two faced punk. .
His daughter is beautiful though. He named her Solana. He told me it’s a Spanish name after his great grandmother that means sun. She reminds me of the sun. Bright, warm and full of life. I don’t know how he was able to pull that off.
I kick him in the head and he cries out “Please baby!”
“Fuck you” I yell.
I can’t believe that I’m sitting here pissed off and angry in this situation. How could I be so stupid? We were sexing like crazy and I forgot to go to the doctor and get my birth control shot. That’s when it happened.
We were at my house cooking dinner and drinking wine. Dancing to the radio as he held me so close. I grabbed my glass to take a sip and I dropped it.
Wine and glass was everywhere as I grabbed my stomach in pain. The worst pain that I had ever experienced. I thought I was dying.
He was so good. So sincere. He picked me up immediately and took me to his car.
“We’re going to the hospital” he said. I just sat there in pain crying. I didn’t know what was happening.
In the Emergency Room the doctor kept talking to me. Asking so many questions. I begged for something for the pain. They wouldn’t agree until they started checking off some items on their list. I laid on my side and cried.
I started bleeding. Blood started gushing from my vagina. Something was wrong. Am I dying?
The room started to get dark. Monitors started going off. I heard someone yell. She’s bleeding. Too much. The nurse asked him “Is she pregnant?” He said “No.”
When I woke up he wasn’t there. I was alone. I couldn’t move. I just cried.
The nurse came in to tell me that she was getting the doctor. I tried to speak, but my voice was hoarse. She gave me some ice chips and told me that the doctor would be in shortly.
A bearded man that reminded me of all the photos that I’ve seen of Santa Claus walked in. “Hi, I’m Dr. Markowitz. How are you this morning?” I just squeaked “Okay.” He said I gave them a scare. I asked him “What is wrong with me?” He replied “You were pregnant. You were suffering from an ectopic pregnancy. Basically the baby was growing in your tubes.”
“Am I still pregnant?” I asked. Dr. Markowitz replied “No, you’re not. We had to remove the damaged tube, but you can still get pregnant someday. I’m sure of it.” I just cried.
I didn’t know that I was pregnant. I had life growing in me. I had a baby that I would never get to hold. To kiss or cuddle. My baby. Our baby is no more. I started to cry uncontrollably.
-To Be Continued-
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