Musings of a Basket Case

It seems like even when I have the best intentions I can’t seem to get it together. I meant to write more. I needed too. But, life. Life got in the way. I got sick a couple of weeks ago and was off work for a week trying to recuperate. I got into a car accident last week and they’ll probably total out my car and I only have $2,400 left to pay. I’m trying not to stress. It’s not working. There’s just too much on my mind.

But, in the midst of it all I’m counting my blessings. Losing my mind over the millions of things that I have going on but trusting that it will all work according to God’s will. I’m grateful. I guess that’s what it is all about…being grateful in spite of the storm you find yourself in.

Whew! This is my breakthrough season ya’ll. I’m claiming it.

I’m still getting Munch ready for school next month, taking a social media break and reading my devotionals to get my spirit in line. Munch is doing amazing. You know I’m blessed right? I’m taking time off next week to spend with him. Hopefully, it won’t be spent at a dealership buying a car but out making memories with this incredible little boy that makes me proud to be his mama.

Dating – ugh! You know that I hate it right? Still do. But, I’m slowly let me say that again S-L-O-W-L-Y getting back out there. I’m practicing my patience while I sit in amazement at the number of broken people out here trying to date. It’s exhausting. I want to scream “I know a great therapist let me refer you”!

We’ve got to heal ourselves before trying to date others. Otherwise, we’re bringing them in our mess in order to damage them. Maybe not intentionally, but it can happen. Work on you first before trying to date anyone. I met a nice man and he seemed to check a few of my boxes and our conversations were good but he didn’t call. I called him and if he wasn’t available he’d call back but he never initiated calls. That made me feel weird. I told you that I don’t expect anyone to chase me but there has to be a mutual attraction and chasing between both of us. I needed him to just call. He didn’t. I guess we left it alone.

My ex-boyfriend (you remember the guy I dated for two weeks) has been texting me. Apologizing for his behavior. Telling me what’s been happening in his life. I get it. It’s a lot. I just pray for him. I don’t like gray. He said he misses me. He said he misses Munch. I’m just praying.

I want more. Maybe the problem is that my desire to have a strong and healthy relationship depends on my potential partner to be stable in all areas of his life…mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. He has to have a spirited desire to get to know me as I will him. We will date for a purpose. We will communicate our thoughts, feelings, dreams and desires. We will practice healthy habits. We will make an effort.

Maybe that’s what is missing. The lack of effort when it comes to dating. It should be purposeful. Those days are gone. I get it. Maybe they’ll never come back. But, I just hope that someone sees the benefit of putting forth continuous effort when they come into my life.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.