Where Am I?

Where Am I? I don’t know. It’s a simple question. But, I struggle to answer. Why? Because it seems that I am nowhere, but somewhere. Where? I don’t know.

I guess I would say that I am somewhere between bliss and exhaustion. Heaven and hell. Uncertainty. Indecisiveness. The location evades my consciousness.

So much has happened. In the world. In my life. In Charlottesville. Sigh. I can’t.

I’m tired ya’ll. You know that I’m tired of living in a society that values ignorance over humanity. I’m tired of living in a country where the color of my skin matters more than the content of my character. I’m tired of having to talk to my son about racial bias and yet educate him on the realities of racism.

He’s 9.

He still believes in the tooth fairy. He still believes in Santa Claus. He is innocent. I have to protect him. So, I decided that I needed to take a break.

I unplugged.

I took some time to gather my thoughts, pray and re-center myself. School starts next month and so does my busy season. I have to get it together. No more drama. No more negativity sucking away at my time, money or life.

One foot in front of the other.

I march.

Slowly and with determination and uphill. It doesn’t matter. Life is what is. No crystal stair, but there are stairs to climb.

I can’t stop.

I won’t stop.

Fighting.

Fighting for Munch.

Fighting for you.

Fighting for me.

Fighting for everyone.

My break has allowed me the opportunity to reflect on my journey and recenter my expectations. To realign my goals and just breathe this sometimes heavy atmosphere into my lungs and exhale the fear and frustrations.

Can I just tell you that I was tired ya’ll?

I’ve joined so many Facebook groups trying to learn and align myself with my tribes. To inspire others. To let people know that sometimes the enemy we face is our own self. When we look in that mirror and realize that we are blocking our own blessings. We have to be accountable. We have to hold each other accountable. Only then will we feel the shift.

The shift in our perspective.

We have to heal. We have to be better. We have to see that change is gonna come if we believe.

Be blessed loves!

You were all missed.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

#WisdomWednesday – 7.12.17

God has a way of working things out in your favor while you’re not paying attention.

I’ve been trying to minimize the stress in my life. Choosing to focus on the positives and as my soror always says “Living my happy black life”. That being said things still get to me. I still wonder why some people are intent on bringing me off my mountain top of bliss. But, I won’t let it. I have to keep focused and continue living my life.

It’s on those moments of chaos and discord that God steps in.

I had stopped worrying. I was in a good place. But, God knew that I needed something. That I wanted something. A sign that he’s not forgotten me.

He stepped in and gave that to me. He gave me amazing news like finding out that one of my posts was seen by a stranger that wanted to share it on a website that has over 30 million monthly readers. Woohoo! I was having dinner with Mr. C when I got the message. Talk about God re-shifting my focus. This was amazing and I promise to share more when it gets posted.

I was in this joyful place. Then a couple of days later that bubble burst. More drama. My mind started to shift and wander into a place of unhappiness. I was falling off my mountain top of bliss. I was going into a place of uncomfortable anger and quiet rage.

Then God stepped in.

Again.

I woke up Saturday morning with a woman from Instagram liking all my posts and then following me. She then commented on one of my posts saying “I finally found u! A page on fb that shared a recent blog of mine shared urs too. Girl i love ya work. We need to talk!!” Honestly it freaked me out. Why is this woman wanting to find me? Is she a stalker?

LOL, I’ve become increasingly cautious as I’ve aged. So, I checked out her Instagram page and web page and discovered she is another blogger who has a great website called “Blended and Black” where she is all about trying to create harmony in blended families. Say what now? Yep. I went to her website and was so excited.

God was giving me another aha moment! He was giving me a resource to give me the tools of trying to create a harmonious environment where there isn’t one. I was like “Okay, God. I get it.” And I did. This woman is amazing. I was direct messaging her for most of Saturday morning. You can’t get no better than that. It was like I found a long lost soul sister.

So, my #WisdomWednesday message is meant to inspire you to not give up. No matter what you’re going through or what you’re growing through it will get better. God will re-shift your focus, realign your priorities and help you get back on your mountaintop of bliss.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

Motivational Monday Moment – 7.3.17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment was inspired by this picture that I saw last week when I was looking for pictures on my Wisdom Wednesday post:

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It’s deep right? But, it’s also very true in its simplest form. We spend so much time trying to figure out or break the code on things that cause us so much stress that there are really only 3 solutions to every problem…accept it, change it or leave it. If you can’t accept it change it. If you can’t change it, then leave it.

Dang! I was blown away when I saw this picture. It stuck with me. It sat in my spirit and really spoke to me over the weekend. This is another piece of the puzzle in my quest for mindfulness and peace. It was like a light bulb went off and I knew what I needed to do. I am working on me. It’s a work in progress, but my Motivational Monday Moment is about using those 3 simple solutions to every problem. Apply them to your life.

Right now.

Don’t worry or stress about a problem. Take what it says literally and try to use it in your life. We spend so much time worrying about things that are beyond our control. We try to fix all our problems and we need to stop. I know it’s hard. I’ve been there and done the same thing. But, isn’t that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results?

Try something different.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Wisdom Wednesday 6.28.17

I wanted to inspire you today. It’s hump day. I hope that this day goes amazingly well for you. I pray that you have minimal stress and lots of laughter. If you do encounter bad things, I pray that you don’t engage and let go of any anger that others may try to cause you. You are a warrior.

 

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6.26.17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about stillness. Remembering to be still. It’s a continuation of the theme that I’ve been exploring all month long with remembering to find your own peace, practicing mindfulness and not believing your haters. The final motivational moment is about learning to be still when the storms of life are raging all around you.

Let’s face it…We’re all busy. Some more than others and we are rushing and going everywhere and nowhere. We never have time for ourselves. We feel like we must do or have to do things all the time or they won’t get done. I know. I’m one of those people.

In the hustle and bustle of life we have to remember that there is strength in the stillness. Sometimes you have to be still. You have to slow down and breathe. You have to take care of you. Things will be as they are supposed to be so you can’t run yourself ragged with worrying or trying to fix them.

Think about all the times that you’ve worried about a situation and tried multiple ways to fix it. Did it stress you out? Did you figure it out? Yes? No? If you did figure out what you needed to do, were you so stressed about it that you wondered if it would really work? I have.

Being still allows me to stop my mind from worrying and trying to figure everything out. I can’t do it on my own. I know this. You know this. So, why do we try to do it on our own? I am learning to turn off my mind and not worry about things. Being still allows me to stop my mind and thoughts from racing and trying to figure out a solution to every single problem.

I am a control freak. I need to figure out everything and have a solution to many of life’s problems before I can relax. Hilarious, right? What is that old saying “Want to know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” Yep, that’s me. Trying to plan and figure out a solution for everything. But, can I be honest? It’s exhausting.

In this season that I’m in, I am learning to be still and allow God. I’m learning to quiet my thoughts and just trust that God is still God and whatever will be will be. Why ? Because I trust God. He hasn’t changed. I am the one who needs to be still and allow him to work in and through me. I trust that all things will work according to His will.

Psalm 46:10 The Message (MSG)

8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.”

 

When you are in a perpetual hell you need to quiet your mind. You need to just be still. My Motivational Monday Moment is about you just doing that. Do nothing. Be still. Be present.

It’s hard being still. You have to quiet your mind. You have to make time to do nothing. I told you how I’m practicing meditation and it’s hard as heck, but I’m trying. I’m trying to live in the present and focus on the here and now. Not stress about the future or the problems that I have. I’m learning to unplug.

This is a big one for me. I started with the weekends. I really don’t read or write posts on the weekend because it is my time. My time for me and my time for my family. I do my best to schedule my posts. I’m also trying to limit my on-line time. Social media is killing me. The politics, the multiple social injustices and the never ending issues with things in my community are stressing me the heck out. Oh, and don’t forget my own personal issues.

I need to be still.

I need to practice stillness.

I need to allow God to be God and quiet my mind. There are too many distractions and I know how easy it is to fall into a trap of self-importance. You know the trap that you can fix everything? You can’t. You’re not that important. And you know what? Neither am I.

Let’s be still.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Helluva Man

I thought it was impossible to love me. I mean I dated, married and later divorced a man that told me that I had some serious daddy issues. Was he wrong? Not entirely. But, could he have said it differently? Possibly. But, I believed his words.

They sank into my spirit and cut like knives going down my throat. I believed that I was f*cked up. I believed man over God. I was lost.

I believed that it was impossible to love me. To find someone who would see all my quirks and faults and accept them as normal. Someone who would respect my boundaries, love me and Munch and be able to afford me financially. But, God.

I thought that I had an impossible list of qualifications for a man. I wasn’t specific about height, weight, looks, etc. Well, he had to be taller than me. Nothing else was specific. Okay, I’m lying. He had to:

  1. Make no less than $10,000 than me. He could make more, but I wasn’t dating a broke man.
  2. Have children because I wasn’t having anymore.
  3. Have a relationship with Christ. This was the most important. He needed to be a believer and believe in the power of prayer.
  4. Have a relationship with his parents.
  5. Have a career that he loved.
  6. Be taller than me.
  7. Understand that I wasn’t giving him my cookies.

That was it. I didn’t know what kind of man that would bring, but when I let go and trusted God to send someone in my life that understood that I had been broken but saved by grace….whew! Mr. C showed up and showed out in my life. Even when I tried to run because I couldn’t understand these feelings that I was having. Here was a man that had all the things on my list that valued me.

That respected my boundaries and loved me in the midst of all that I had going on. He’s not perfect. Neither am I. We just craft this space that we understand and respect each other. No matter what. I’ve gotten frustrated at him and will say I need a break and get off the phone. He’s cool with it. He’ll give me the time and we’ll circle back later and discuss any residual feelings.

I never had that. I didn’t know that relationships worked like that. I was use to drama and never being able to have a civil conversation. Mr. C gets that I’m an alpha female so I get straight to the point. I don’t need to stroke his ego. He is the man and I tell him so. He knows that when I send him love notes that they are genuine. But, if I’m direct in a conversation, he doesn’t get offended. He doesn’t think that I don’t love him or I’m trying to control him. He just listens and responds. Our communication is evolving and I can honestly say that I love the man that God sent to me. The man that sends me beautiful videos to encourage my soul or little love notes that tell me how he feels. That man. He’s a helluva man!

Here’s an example of how wonderful he is:

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Yep, I’m one lucky girl!

Talk to me:  Are you in that kind of relationship? What kind of things did you want in a potential partner?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6/19/17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about not believing the hype spread by your haters. The hype is the fake news or fake information that others try to use against you. Don’t believe it! Have you ever been in a situation where someone has crafted alternative facts to try to make your character seem less than genuine? Whether it be in your workplace or in your personal life, I want to remind you to not believe the hype.

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Life is full of people that will try to use, misuse and talk about you behind your back. Whether it be through social media, emails or your blog they can’t seem to find it in their character to confront you to your face so they punk out and troll you. Have you ever been trolled? It bothered you right? It bothered you that someone was hiding behind a keyboard talking mess about you or some perceived wrong you had done. You may have been afraid. But, fear not my friend.

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Don’t give energy to those things meant to distract you or tarnish your character. You have to ignore it. I know. I know. It is hard sometimes because you feel the need to defend yourself or your character to others, but you don’t have too. See, God knows and sees all. God promises to be with you in battle which is why you are encouraged to put on the full armor of God.

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You can’t let those that are being used for evil destroy you with their words or actions. You just need to walk away and keep the peace. To keep your sanity. You know who you are and whose you are. So many times we want to fight battles that we don’t even need to fight because God will handle it.

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You have to stand strong and don’t let your feelings lead you into catching a case. Ignore those that wish to be manipulative and vindictive pawns in the devil’s army. You are a child of God. He already told you that he gave you power and you don’t need to fight those battles. You just have to remember to not believe the hype. Don’t let your haters bring you down.

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Don’t let the words and/or actions of others put you in a place that is not allowing you to fulfill your purpose. Your purpose is greater than the foolishness around you. When you give thought or energy to those things that don’t align with your purpose then you are being detoured off the path of greatness. Don’t believe the hype!

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Let your dreams manifest regardless of the environment you find yourself in. Believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Know that you have the power to speak life into your own situations when it feels like all hope is lost. Remember to stay prayed up and motivated throughout your trials and tribulations.

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Give it to God.

That’s it. That simple. Give it to God.

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My Motivational Monday Moment is reminding you to not believe the hype. You are not what others say about you. You are what you choose to be. Your character can never be questioned by those who know and love you. And when the enemy comes to destroy your peace, remember that this battle is not yours and don’t believe the hype. You are more than the words of your haters!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.