His Plan

So, we’ve all been there. Where? To the depths of hell swimming like a madman without a life jacket. Drowning. In pain. We didn’t understand how life took this rapid turn and we found ourselves in a perpetual state of hell.

It happens. It happened to me. It happens to everyone. You are not alone. You should know that …

See, that’s all we can ask. That God helps us through it. Our lives have been planned out. There will be good days and there will be bad days. We have to stay committed to knowing that our faith matters. We can’t falter in our faith when we fear the unknown.

Just breathe.

Know that everything is working for your good. You are wonderfully and beautifully made to survive any test or trial that comes your way. Be encouraged.

Just breathe.

I remember being on the floor crying out in pain asking God “Why has thou forsaken me?” Only to hear him whisper “I haven’t. Get up. It’s done.” Even when I feel like I can’t go on and take any more I try to whisper “Dear God, just give me the strength to endure.”

I breathe.

I’ve been at the end of my rope. There were times I didn’t know which way to turn or who could help me. I called on the One. The One who is always available. Who sees my tears and knows that His child is crying. He will see me through this troubled time. He will see you through your troubled times.

Breathe.

Don’t let the trouble you find yourself in define who you are. You are beautifully and wonderfully made in the Master’s image. So, you’ve made mistakes. Who hasn’t? The key is to know that there is always something bigger in store for you. Your greater is coming.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT – 5/1/2017

It’s the first day of a new month. The fifth month of the year. We’re almost halfway through 2017 and it feels like we just started. So, many things to tell you. Too much to share, but I wanted to inspire you this morning. How? By sharing my Motivational Monday Moment. My Motivational Monday Moment is about trusting God.

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Last week I was in a mood. A foul and painful mood. Friday, I had my break through. I wrote about it in my post Tired. I was struggling through some things that had my spirit restless, but I have to testify this morning. I have to share with you how awesome God is at reminding me that He is in the midst of all my storms.

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Last week, I was talking to Mr. C. It was the same conversation – my concerns and angst about my situation. He’d been praying for me. Trying to renew my faith because I was struggling. He’d been encouraging me to trust God. “I do” I sighed. But, I wasn’t acting like it. “Pray” he said. “I am” I told him. I sighed.

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I realized that I was being a finicky Christian. I was letting my storms blow into my life and create havoc instead of anchoring my spirit in the Lord. Man oh Man when I tell you that God has a way of reaching me when I am in the pit of despair and the depths of hell – I have to tell you that He hears all and knows all.

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It started last week and continued through Friday.  I was posting more on Twitter and Facebook than I ever had.  I was motivated, pumped and inspired because I knew that God had not forgotten me or my situation. My situation may have seemed small in comparison to what others are going through, but trust me when I tell you that it was embedded in my mind and spirit. It had caused me to become unhinged.

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But, my breakthrough came and I want to let you know that yours will come too. Don’t give up. Don’t be discouraged. This is not the end of you or your story. You have to be encouraged and know that even when you find yourself walking through hell, you need to know that God will not leave you. It says so in Psalms 23:4

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you to trust. No matter what hell you find yourself walking through, I need you to trust that you are not alone. Be still. Be strong and no that you should have no fear because God is with you always.

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Happy Monday loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Tired

I’m tired.

Weary.

My heart aches.

My mind is racing.

My patience is low.

I don’t want to fight no more.

Fighting is exhausting.

Fighting is distracting.

I can’t be distracted.

No time.

No time for games.

No time for distractions.

No time for the fake ones.

Time matters.

This hell I find myself in is one I chose.

The moment I said yes.

I chose it.

I have to remember it.

But, I have to remember that I can change my mind.

To recognize my choices and accept my fate.

To move beyond the bullshit and give my all

To the people that matter.

To the situations that require my attention.

To the friends that love without judgement.

To the family that supports without knowledge.

To the man who promises me a healthy love.

To the job that pays my salary.

To the readers who support my talent.

To the charitable organizations that benefit from my service.

To those that inspire.

To those that encourage.

To those that believe.

Believe in me.

Even when I don’t believe in myself.

I will close my eyes tonight.

No more tears.

With praise on my tongue

I will cry out…

Can you hear me Lord?

Can you hear the pain in my heart?

Can you see the destruction of those that seek to hurt me?

Can you see that I am your faithful servant Lord?

And I will give it to Him.

I will leave it on the altar.

I will say…

I trust you Lord.

I know that you’re watching.

Intercede Lord.

Intercede.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Work At Love

Mr. C starts his new position on the 27th of this month. I’m disappointed. I wanted it to be in March. March 6th specifically.

Sigh.

I know that you’re probably laughing at me for picking out his start date. But, I can’t help it. I wanted it to be later. I know that I can’t control everything. I’m just not ready. I’m trying to just relax and trust that it will work itself out.

Work.

Relationships require work. I realize that now. I don’t think I really understood the magnitude of work and how much work is required when in a relationship. I think my ex worked at it. Sometimes.

Then he would get tired and frustrated and not work anymore. I would then feel his lack of working and then pick up the reigns to our marriage and work at it. You see that huh? We were working separately from each other.

We weren’t working together. We were each working at different times. I don’t think we ever knew it. I really didn’t understand and appreciate the value in working on relationships. Everything came sorta easy for me.

It appeared on the outside that the successful marriages were the ones that just seemed to flow. I didn’t know that they had to work on them. Work on them together. Not separately.

I’m learning in my relationship with Mr. C. I’m learning that he and I have to work at it together. Not separately. United. As a team.

God reminds me of this when I get stubborn. He reminds me that I prayed for Mr. C and that he sent me someone to love me and my son. He reminds me that I have to stay in the present and know that everything is working according to His will.

I know.

I get frustrated.

I get distracted by the amount of work and think that I can’t do it. I start to have doubts. Negative voices that scream… It is impossible. We are doomed. We are having to work too hard for something as simple as time.

Then something like this happens when I feel down and disturbed by my lot in life:

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A fellow blogger, KE reminded me what I’m working for. What God has given me. She reminded me that we are shaping one another and our relationship so that it fits us and our circumstances.

I get it God!

I need to remember that love and work both require action. I have to work for the things that I love and I have to work at my relationship. No situation is perfect and no situation is without frustrations and/or setbacks. We have to keep shaping one another and our relationship.

Thanks for the reminder KE.

 

Motivational Monday Moment – 9/19/16

Happy Monday Folks!

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is meant to inspire you to pray. I’ve had an exhausting 24 hours. It was stressful and I allowed some things to stress me when I shouldn’t have. I know.

It’s my fault.

I was disturbed in my spirit and trying to get my emotions under control. I wish I could tell you that I have all the answers and that I’m not easily stressed, but I don’t. I’m human. I make MANY mistakes.  One of the many mistakes is getting sucked into the drama and issues of others.

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I’m emotional. I need to learn to not get sucked into drama and just pray. It’s hard though. I want to fight and argue and make a case for my side when you know what? It really doesn’t matter. I can’t change someone’s mind. I can only control my actions and me.

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I don’t owe anyone anything. I just need to be the best person that I can be. I need to keep my head in the game and stop feeling the need to validate who I am and what I am doing. I owe nothing to no one.

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When I am stressed beyond belief I forget how to pray sometimes. Has that ever happened to you? When there is so much noise in your head that your head is pounding and you forget that the only way out is to pray?

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I do. Been there. Done that. Multiple times. Even when I was alone, I knew that I was truly not alone. He was right there with me. Waiting patiently for me to come to him.

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However, I want to remind each of us how easy it is to pray through our problems. You are never alone. Just call on Him. How do you call on Him? Just by doing this…

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Call on the name of Jesus. Sometimes all you can do is just say “Jesus” and you can start to feel His power working in you. He wants us to call Him. Why? Because there is power in the name of Jesus.

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Trust me when I tell you that all you have to do is call on His name because there is power there. I know because this morning I was all out of sorts…angry, defensive and frustrated. I felt alone and I needed to get my mind right before coming into work.

You know what it was? I broke my normal routine. I usually wake up and pray and read devotionals and have prayer with Mr. C. We didn’t do it this morning. He changed his work hours and I got Munch into before and after care at school so our schedules were off. When he called me I was trying to finish up and get out of the door.

I got in the car and told him about a situation that frustrated the heck out of me. I was angry, perturbed and frankly stressed out this morning. He tried to calm me down. He said “Babe, you need to pray”. I responded “Yeah, I need to pray.” It was in a snarky town because I was in a snarky mood. We were not getting along well this morning.

But, you know what? He was right. I needed to pray. My mind was out of sorts and I was not being as I should be. I owned it. I allowed outside things to change me. I needed Jesus. I needed to pray. I needed to have my spirit renewed and refreshed. And you know what it worked.

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I started to feel better. What did I do? Nothing. I just went before the throne this morning. I owned my mood and said  a prayer…

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Dear Father,

Hallowed be thy Name

Help me this morning Lord.

I’m coming to you asking for help

You know what I’m going through

You know the pains that are disturbing my spirit

Help me to erase the pain and know that all things

work according to Your will.

That if it is in your will it will be fine.

Allow my spirit to find peace in your words and my mind to be anchored in you

Let me remember that you are sovereign and that no weapon formed

against me shall prosper

Jesus.

There’s nothing like calling the sweet name of Jesus.

Dear Lord please give my weary spirit rest. Help me to forgive those that mean me harm

Teach me how to seek peace and understanding for those who trespass against me.

Teach me how to pray for those that wish me harm.

Dear Lord you are the only true God

so it is in you will that I want to humbly reside.

Bear with me Lord.

I am weak.

I am human.

Renew my mind and renew my spirit.

Amen.

 

Motivational Monday Moment – 8/8/2016

Happy Monday Folks!

Today is a new day and it is my Motivational Monday Moment and I wanted to share some words to motivate you today. Today is also my daddy’s 61st birthday! God is awesome because that is the first time that I’m telling folks! I’ll be home early next month and Brennan and I will celebrate with him.


So, A LOT of things have been happening to and around me. We all are going through some things and I wanted to let you know that

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When we feel like we’re walking alone on a difficult road with treacherous conditions you need to remember that this is only part of the journey. Your journey is not always going to be pleasant but your destination will be beautiful because we are staying focused. What are we focused on? The light.

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When hardships seem unbearable and pressures seem never ending know that you must stay focused. Stay determined to see this through. You have to go through a situation to get to the end. Believe me when I tell you that it is often easier to give into self-pity and self-loathing because you feel like you are in a perpetual hell, but trust me when I tell you that you need to…

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Can you do that this morning? Can you start loving yourself in spite of your trials and tribulations? They are only temporary. This situation you find yourself in will not break you. You are a winner!

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Even when you think you’re losing, you’re winning because you showed up. You never gave up. You didn’t quit. That’s half the battle. Just show up and never give up.

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I have to tell you a secret…

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You have to know that there is a lesson in everything. What did you learn? What did you know after something happened that you didn’t know before. Focus on the lesson and you will realize that what you did was find strength to get through a difficult situation. You won’t see it as a failure that has you bound to this situation. You will see it as something you can overcome.

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Tomorrow is not promised loves. This life we live is fragile. Focus on the good. Love more than your heart can bear and know that trouble don’t last always. You have to take life one day at a time. Take it in smaller increments if you need to (seconds, minutes and hours) .

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Take it in small increments. You will get there. Focus on what you want and know that it will happen. You are totally worth all the good things coming your way. I love you and I believe in you.

Happy Monday!

Random: At This Moment

Last week a friend of mine said, “I hadn’t heard from you in a long time.” I responded “I know. I’ve been going through some things and haven’t really shared.” She asked, “What’s going on?” I replied, “Every month since October there has been some major hardship/issue that has affected me. I feel like I can’t breathe” I muttered. “It’s at times overwhelming and I’m consistently asking God to please give me the strength to endure” I said.

Silence.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. “No, not right now” I responded.

I didn’t. I didn’t want to talk about my problems/issues. Why? Because I was tired of crying.

Alone in my bed when the world is asleep, I toss and turn and cry.

Crying is cathartic for me. It exhausts me. It solves nothing, so I’m not sure why I do it. But, I do.

I cry for things that have happened, things that haven’t happened and things that I want to happen. I cry and pray. Pray and cry. Non-stop.

Until I go numb. Then I drift off to sleep. Sleep is fretful and disturbing. Weird dreams with no understanding of what they mean. Nightmares. Never peaceful bliss. I’m exhausted by the time I awake.

A hot shower, a cup of coffee and make-up to hide the bags under my eyes. I pinch my cheeks and smile and practice my “I’m in control of my life” look. Why? Because the world expects me to be okay. They expect me to be good. To be in control. I’m not expected to fall apart. I haven’t fallen apart since my marriage disintegrated.

Ugh! Those memories still haunt me to this day. Falling out from emotional and spiritual fatigue and unable to stand. I lay on the floor crying in a heap. My then 5 year old son held my head and rubbed my hair saying, “Mommy, please don’t cry. Mommy, I will protect you.”

I cried harder.

This too shall pass.

I’ve survived worse is what I keep reminding myself. Don’t give in to the darkness. Breathe. Take it one day at a time. Pray. Pray without ceasing. Give it to God.

I have. I do. I’m so weak.

A friend said, “You have it all together.” I smiled and replied “Nope, I am one crisis away from a nervous breakdown.” Awkward silence.

Dang, I didn’t want that. It’s too early for him to think that I’m crazy. It’s too early to show vulnerability. What will he think?

I can’t breathe.

I have to think about something else. I have to focus on today’s task. I have to remind myself that my greater is coming. Strength. That’s what I need.

God please give me the strength to endure and while you’re in the problem solving business give me some grace and mercy. I could truly use it right now. Thank you Lord.

A Bit Of Everything