Happy Resurrection Day!

What a beautiful Easter Sunday in Maryland! I’m going to both church services this morning because the Drama and Music ministries will be doing a program for the second church service.

I’m excited.

My Munch is in Danville, Virginia with his dad’s family. It’s a tradition that I started when he was an infant and one that he will always keep. It’s important for him to have the love of his grandma and her family engulfing him. She’s an amazing woman.

Munch was telling me last week that he was super excited to go and visit his grandma. He saw her last month for her 75th birthday, but he enjoys spending time with her. I smiled. When I asked him was he going to do an Easter egg hunt at his grandma’s house he said “I’m not sure.” “Well, I’m sure that she’ll get you a big Easter basket baby” I said. He said “Mommy, the Easter bunny brings me my Easter basket, not my grandma.”

And just like that I remembered that my son still believes in the magic of the Easter Bunny. I love that. In all the drama from the last week, it warms my soul to know that he still believes in the great things about being a kid. He knows that Easter is more than baskets or colored eggs. He knows that it is about the resurrection of Christ.

He will go to sunrise service at his grandma’s church with his dad. A beautiful church in the country where everyone has watched him grow up year after year. He will go downstairs after church is over for the sunrise breakfast that is a mandatory part of their service. He will eat breakfast and smell the scents of good ole’ country cooking. He will probably just eat the bacon and potatoes. He’s pretty particular.

He will pray and he will remember what this day is all about. I pray that he will hear me whispering “with God all things are possible.” This is not a day of sadness but of happiness because we know that Christ rose. So, on this beautiful Sunday I wish you thoughts of colored eggs, Easter baskets and bunnies, but more importantly I wish you the comfort of knowing that Jesus paid it all.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment– 4/10/2017

My Motivational Monday Moment is inspired by my momma. She told me to pray for protection. She and I were discussing some drama that I’m dealing with and she said that you have to remember to say your prayers of protection. Ask God to protect you from spiritual warfare.

What are the prayers of protection? They are Psalms 27, Psalms 37, Psalms 71 and Psalms 91. Ya’ll we are about to have church this Monday morning. This was right on time for me. I started reading the Psalms and it was my prayer to the Lord. I knew that I was on the path and that what I was going through was nothing new to Him.

The book of Psalms is a book of poetry. It speaks to were we are in different times in our lives and that God is still the same unchanging God. But, I needed to reassured of that because I’m going through a storm. That’s what my momma reminded me of. God’s protection is promised in these prayers.

God knows all and hears all. I need Him. I need his protection. You ever heard that phrase “Can’t nobody do me like Jesus?” Well, I was having that moment because I knew where my help and strength come from. I was humbled and reminded as my pastor said so eloquently yesterday in church “to recognize better”. I was in better.

I loved being in better and even though it seems that people wanted to keep me in bitter, I knew better. I needed God to protect my heart and my spirit. I know that I am not alone this morning. We’ve all been there.

The thing about this faith is that it doesn’t mean that we won’t have trials or tribulations. We will. We will be put in the middle of storm and wonder “Why, o’ why has my God forsaken me?” But, you know what? He hasn’t.

He is still the same God. We just need to ask God to be our protection. He hears all and answers all. If you’re going through your own personal hell or you know someone that is, send them the Psalms. Pray over them. Let them know that God is and has always been our refuge.

Happy Monday Loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Mommy Moments: 4/8/2017

It’s a brisk Saturday morning and I’m laying here after prayer trying to force myself to get out of bed. There are things to do and places to go. Munch has a soccer game at 12:30 pm today. His first of the season. We’re both excited.

I have to head down stairs and fix his breakfast. Fuel for his body. He needs to stay focused and engaged and not worry about hunger pains. His sickness is gone and he’s back to normal.

When we returned back to the world of the living on Wednesday and were getting ready to leave the house, he says to me “Mommy, I don’t think anyone missed me.” I stopped. “Missed you when Munch?” I asked. “The last two days that I’ve been out of school. I don’t think the kids missed me.”

I laughed. He was so sweet and sincere. The innocence of a child. I replied “Munch, you were only gone two days. I’m pretty sure no one missed me after two days of taking care of you at home.” He looked shocked. “You don’t think anyone on your staff missed you while you were out?” “No baby” I replied. “Well then, you should fire them Mommy” he said. I began to laugh hysterically.

“Munch, you can’t fire people because they don’t miss you. Even if they work for you” I said. He looked confused. I then realized that I needed this precious boy to keep me sane. I needed his words, his kisses and his hugs. I needed his belief that I was superwoman and that I could do anything. Supermommy.

Although it’s illegal to fire someone and I can’t imagine anyone doing it to me, I see my son as a fighter. A fighter for me. He believes that others should miss me like he misses me and that means more to me than anything in this world.

I make mistakes. I’m not perfect. I probably reward way more than most parents. But, I’m learning and I love what God has blessed me with in Munch. I just thank my blessings for my Munch.

Happy Saturday loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment– 4/3/2017

This Motivational Monday Moment is inspired by my sister girl who is going through some things. We talked last week and she was in good spirits where others may have been on the floor crying about their lot in life, she was keeping it in a positive perspective. Her response was “It could have been worse and God’s always got me.” Whew!

That was a testimony. So, I wanted to share that with you. I wanted to encourage you to put your circumstances and trials in a positive perspective. It’s easy to get disappointed and discouraged about things you’re going through. Heck, I’m going through some things now and I’m trying to remember that it could be worse.

Her attitude was such that she knew that no matter what the outcome of her situation that God’s got her. I was so amazed by it. Her positive perspective about her situation was what I needed to remind me that God’s grace is for everyone.

Here’s an example of how I utilized her advice…On Friday, I received an email from the after care provider stating that she left her cell phone at home.  I forwarded the email to my ex-husband as he was picking up Munch from school that day to take him to get his haircut or so I thought.

He responded to me that he was not picking up our son and that he had gotten his haircut last week because his hair looked bad and he had an event. I was floored. Why wouldn’t you just send me a text and/or email and let me know that so I knew to pick up my son on time?

As you could imagine, I was H-O-T! Why the heck didn’t you tell me? You know the answer that I received “I thought I did.” If that wasn’t some cockamamie BS, I didn’t know what was. I said a prayer “God help me”. I thought about how I normally work late whenever I don’t have Munch and that he would have been sitting at school like a lost child because his father had failed to communicate.

You know what happened next? God showed me that I needed to put it in a positive perspective. How could I do that? By accepting that thankfully the director had contacted me and I had checked my email.  That counted for something. My son wasn’t sitting there like an abandoned puppy. I smiled and thanked God.

No matter what my lot in life or the circumstances of my surroundings, God is and will always be God. It never changes. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you to put it in a positive perspective. No matter what is going on. Change your mindset and allow God to handle it.

Be blessed my loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/20/2017

It’s the first day of spring. I’m late getting my post out. I needed to be motivated this morning so I’ve struggled with what to write. Please forgive me for the delay. I started thinking about what I could tell you to motivate you this morning. I had nothing.

I didn’t feel motivated. I felt tired and exhausted of having to fight the same battle over and over again. I felt as though my back was up against the wall. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I just knew that I wanted peace.

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There are some difficult situations that I have to face in the coming weeks. I will share more as I know more, but I was really feeling overwhelmed. I told Mr. C that I needed him to encourage me this morning. To make me feel better.

He said “You have a job. You have money. You woke up this morning. Your son is healthy. You have a boss that is understanding.” Okay, I get it. Not enough. But, poignant and true. I wasn’t giving thanks. I was feeling the pain of my issue and not giving the praise.

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I talked to another friend about my situation and he told me that God told him that “It’s a blessing to be tested and tried by Him. “ He told me to not dismay and know that God is blessing me regardless of whatever I’m going through. He told me to be encouraged and know that we serve a mighty God.

I know.

I’m human.

I just want peace.

Every time I feel like I get a little peace and quiet, things come along to disturb the natural order of the way I believe my life should work. The peace that I thought I had is always short lived. Things disturb this natural order and I feel overwhelmed. I’m struggling ya’ll.

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I know that what Mr. C said and what my friend said made sense. I’m a Christian and sometimes I feel like I’m failing. I’m failing at trying to keep chaos from interfering in my life. I didn’t ask for this. I just want to ride out the peace for years to come.

I know that I’m not living in reality right now. What’s wrong with wanting peace? Nothing. 51ef3e3fc97a88c221e264f8e788cbf0

But, God.

God spoke to me through music to ease my weary soul. He often speaks to me through music when I’m going through something and I ask for His help. When I pray for peace and I can’t seem to hear it through the noise of me wanting to take control of my own life and do what I want. He did it today.

I was listening to Marsha Ambrosious on Pandora and he played Mary Mary’s gospel song “Yesterday”. I had to close my office door because tears began to roll down my face as they sang “Any problems that I had he’s greater, he’s greater than them all. I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday.” – Mary Mary. God was speaking to me. I was doing too much.

I hear you God. I can’t keep crying about the situation. I gave it to you. I need to trust you to do your will. I need to lean on you and know that you are greater than any problems that I have. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to trust. Trust God. Trust Him with everything.

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We can’t keep crying over the same situation and the same problems. We need to give our all to God. He is the way maker and we know that all things work according to His will. I trust you God. No more tears. Thy will be done.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/6/2017

I want to talk about grace today. Grace as a noun means favor or good will. I never really thought much about that word until recently. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is about grace and how it is not the same as forgiveness.

Let me tell you how I discovered that they are not the same…

I went home last month to Tennessee to see my father. It was uneventful, which was good. He’s recovering. He’s not doing what he’s supposed to do. His family is helping him out.

I flew in late Saturday night and drove almost two hours to my grandma’s house. I got lost. The outlets in the rental car didn’t work. I had 10% of cell phone battery left. It was trying. I got in and went to sleep.

Sunday morning I went to church with a friend of mine to hear him preach and later that evening I went to check on my dad. We sat and talked for a couple of hours. It was good. He asked me to take him to McDonald’s and get him something to eat.

So, off we went and he started to talk about how his family mixes things up. How they get information confused. His mom (who is deceased) and/or his siblings. It was random, but he mentioned how the first time he brought his girlfriend Arlene to town from Chicago, people had assumed she was white.

I listened to him talk. I said “I remember Arlene.” He replied “You never met Arlene.” I said, “Yep, I did. It was one year that we happened to be in town and my grandma made us come over to visit your mother. Your family. Funny thing is that she didn’t even tell us you were in town. We found out by visiting. I wanted to walk down the street to the local park with some of my friends. I asked you could I go. You told me to ask Arlene. Why? She wasn’t my mother. She was the first woman that I met and you thought that your girlfriend should give me permission? She wasn’t entitled. You were the parent. I felt disrespected. You didn’t provide support for us. Neither did Arlene. Non-financial people shouldn’t have opinions. Especially not girlfriends.”

He just listened. He changed the subject. He doesn’t remember that I met his first girlfriend outside of my mother. Only that he brought her to Tennessee. I, on the other hand remember everything. I have a long memory.

My memory won’t let me forget the pain inflicted by my father. I’ve tried. Other things happened which I will tell you about later. I didn’t understand. I hadn’t felt bad in a LONG time. What was happening to me? I shouldn’t be feeling the pain of longing for a father who wasn’t there.

I came home the following Tuesday and met with my therapist that week. I told her what happened. She asked me “Why do you go and visit him?” I told her that God told me to forgive him. She inquired whether or not God told me to build a bridge with him? I told her that he only told me to forgive him. She told me “You haven’t forgiven him.” I told her “Yes”. She said “No, you’ve given him grace. You’ve not forgiven him. You have too much residual pain left.” She went on to explain that the pain is both normal and understandable considering the years of abandonment, but she needed me to think about what forgiveness looks like.

I sighed.

For the last four years of my life, I thought I gave forgiveness. I gave grace. They are not the same. The weird thing is that I never knew anyone who gave grace. I thought God was the only one to give grace.

I was wrong. We can give grace. I allowed him to occupy a space in my world after almost 30 years of no relationship by thinking I was doing as God instructed…forgiving. But, now I see I was only giving grace.

I was being graceful by allowing him to be a part of my life. I was thinking that I was forgiving him by letting him spend time with me and dealing with the parts of my life that were painful. The parts that were caused by him and others. But, I wasn’t forgiving him. I haven’t forgiven him.

I’m struggling with this uncovered feeling. I’m trying to process what I need to forgive him. It’s hard. It’s a process and ultimately, I need to both obey God and forgive my father. God forgives. God gives grace.

I am not God.

So, my Motivational Monday Moment is spent somewhere in reflection, thought and understanding of grace and forgiveness. I ask the question, “Have you forgiven or have you given grace?” Let’s focus on both this week.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Remembering I’m Enough

I am enough. That was one of the hardest things that I had to tell myself. As someone who is extremely self-confident, I seemed to lose it when I got married. He became bigger than me. Not because he wanted too or even asked me to. It was me. My choice. I thought that’s what you do when you get married. You sacrifice yourself for the greater good of the marriage.

But, I was wrong. Marriage is much more than that. How can one be expected to have a healthy and functioning relationship when you’re jacked up mentally? If you lose a piece of yourself in the process of attaching yourself to someone else, how can you be expected to know that you’re enough?  Truth is…you can’t.

I couldn’t. I didn’t. Because I was broken. Broken people can’t seem to realize that their enough. Life and storms knock you out and you feel as though you are drowning. You can’t swim. Why did this have to happen to you? Why not? This was the question that I truly had to answer. Was I above trials and tribulations? I knew from church and prayer that the road wouldn’t be easy, but dang. I couldn’t drive over those spikes without getting a flat.

Until I realized that at least I have the ability and tools in my car to fix and repair that flat. I didn’t have to drive on that flat tire, damaging the rim. I could pull over and keep repairing the tire or use the spare. You see it right? The Aha Moment…I could do it. My attitude towards my situation and life’s circumstances had to change just like that tire or my soul would be damaged.

I realized that I deserve to be forgiven and I deserve to forgive because I’m enough. Knowing and believing that you are enough in the midst of difficult situations can impact your self-esteem in a major way. You doubt the little things. You act out because you feel like you’re not enough.  But, balance is what I’ve learned. Faith renewed. Spiritual growth. They happen when you stop acting out and expecting everyone to fix or understand the messed up you.

Once you start to grow and walk with the confidence you truly have, it shows. People can see the light in your eyes when you genuinely laugh. They notice your change in hair color or clothes. They notice that effervescent smile plastered all over your face. They want to know what it is it about you. You were broken and messed up last time they saw you. What changed? You know what you tell them?

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.