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He Loves Intimacy

Is it weird that he loves intimacy? That he believes it is the foundation of a strong relationship? Whew! Are you serious? Intimacy to me is a big glass of wine and talking about politics while you tell me how sexy I am in my nerdy glasses talking all smart and stuff.


I’m struggling with it because I’m not very good with intimacy. Opening up and sharing feelings, flirting, sharing sweet and tender moments with someone. Ugh! I’m such a weirdo. But, he likes that.

He is sweet with it. He shows me intimacy by softly caressing my arm to get my attention at the gym. The sweetest of touches. He’s a gentleman. It’s been a long time since I actually had that “sincere, I respect you for who you are kind of man”. No pretenses. No lines. No pressure.

So, I asked him, “Are you attracted to me?” He laughed and responded “I wouldn’t spend my money or time with you unless I was attracted to you.” I thought, “Well, he’s not Bill Gates rich so maybe there’s truth to what he’s saying.”

I like his mind. The way he thinks. It’s beautiful. He thinks in terms of binary codes. He is a loving and responsible son. Spends time with his parents. A great father. A hard-working man.  A good friend and a great work out partner. He works two jobs and says that “Roland Martin said a black man in America has to have multiple streams of income”. LOL.

I like that he makes time for me. Still at the same rate. Same level. Without arguing or making me feel as though I’m not worth it. Even when he went in to work overnight Saturday night after we had dinner. I told him to get some rest so that he could work overnight. He said, “No, we have plans. I’ll go in later.”

See that? Grown man stuff. At dinner, he blessed our food and sweetly rubbed my hands while he was praying. Whew! This intimacy thing is weird. He asked, “Are you okay?” “Yes” I replied and had a sip of my raspberry martini. Soft touches.


I enjoy the little things about him. I’ve had so many questionable guys lately that it seems weird yet comforting to have someone who is committed to making time for me. Challenging my beliefs and being respectful and open when I do the same.

I told him that if this dating thing doesn’t work out we still need to be gym buddies. I look forward to having an accountability partner. The only thing I would change is the cute way that I approach going to the gym. I’ll show him the real me when we go work out.

Image from Fox TV's Family Guy
Image from Fox TV’s Family Guy


Ah, the joys of dating!



  1. Look at you being all brave and letting us have a glimpse of your discomfort with intimacy. I admire you! He sounds delightfully real and worthwhile. Happy for you! Hearing this kind of story gives me hope. I crave intimacy, but then when I’ve had it I get uncomfortable at first. It’s almost like a fear of being taken over…losing my control over myself. It’s been interesting to figure this out. Thanks for a great post. ~Maura

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s exactly how I feel. Afraid of losing control. He’s such a charming guy and I’m excited. I want to share the good, the bad and everything in between with my blogging family. We can encourage each other.


  2. I looooove this post, Tikeetha! Girl, Mr. C knows exactly what he’s doing. Is intimacy a love language? I need to read that book about love languages…lol. If it is a language, it’s definitely mine.Thanks for sharing this post, Sis. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow!
    First time ever hearing a woman share her fear of intimacy.
    This guy sounds like he could teach a class on the subject.
    And tell him I will be the first to sign up too…lol
    This is an area where not only had I failed in the past with but I never knew what the word meant.
    I’m learning by watching my wife.
    By sharing my fears, secrets and insecurities with her we have become closer.
    She told me last week she feels safe and secure with me and there’s no pressure to be perfect.
    It took me a minute but I’ve learned to accept wife for who she is, the good, the bad, and the indifference.
    Deep post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thanks Vernon. Yes, he is soo sweet and intimate and I never liked intimacy or vulnerability and he makes me love it. I feel safe and loved in the normal. The everyday. I like knowing that we have a routine and that I can count on him. It’s so sweet. I’m just shocked it took me forever to get it and realize that I like it.


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