So, I posed this question on Facebook yesterday “What defines a good man?” because I wanted to see what some of the men thought. To sort of narrow down a definition of what a man believes is his role in dating and possible marriage.
Some of the comments were:
A good man is virtuous and does all he can to do good unto to those around him.
Man of God. Put his woman first also do all he can to provide and protect for his family.
A good man is a godly man that does his absolute best to care for his family and remain faithful.
A good man is only defined to what suit your needs…in my opinion he’s a man who lives and loves God, Independent man with his own house, car, and pays his own bills on time, a man who takes care of his children from the heart and steps up to a woman’s child or children.
Hardworking, grounded in the spirit, considerate and honest.
A good man is a man that puts God first then his family he eats after his family eats. A good man prays for his family. When he does not pray for himself. He provides for his family anyway possible! He does for others as well. What’s in the heart reaches the heart.
I’m not a man, but here are the characteristics that I believe are in the make-up of a good man…
- Lover of God – He has to love God.
- Leader – He leads because he follows God and knows that is what his role is…to lead the family.
- Strong – In spirit. He sees obstacles as something that are meant to be tackled. He will also protect you if need be.
- Provider – He has to be able to support himself and any children individually then when we come together be able to do it collectively.
- Supportive – Encourages a woman’s dreams or experiences. Nurtures her endeavors.
- Thoughtful – Shows meaningful ways to make sure that you know that you are not alone that he is there loving and being there for you.
Do I believe the above list is impossible? Nope. Not at all. Why? Because God provided that in the man that I’m dating now. Mr. C is all of those things. Ya’ll just don’t know how I wake up every morning thanking God for His grace and mercy and allowing this man to love me. Love me in spite of my erratic thoughts or insecurities.
He’s not perfect. Neither am I. But, what we don’t do is lie to each other about what we really want. We never have. I didn’t make excuses for him and he was very up front about his salary a couple of months after we started dating. He wanted to know was he in my salary range. He was.
More important though is his desire to get to know me. To support me without expecting something in return. He was very encouraging when I was interviewing for my new job and he’s encouraging me now with another big endeavor. That unwavering belief in me warms my spirit. It makes me believe in the impossible.
I didn’t have to sacrifice my beliefs or values when we started dating. We are getting to know each other. It is a continuing process. Does he agree with everything I say or believe? Nope. But, he believes in what I believe is the definition of a good man.
Getting to know someone takes time. Real men don’t have a problem communicating whether or not they can afford to date and where they can go. They level set in the beginning. If they can’t afford Morton’s but can afford a Friday’s dinner and he tells you this up front, you have to decide can you accept that.
Honestly? I could. I could accept Friday’s over Morton’s if this man is fiscally responsible. But, these are conversations that you have when you get to know someone. I would guess this is a second or third date conversation starter.