Growing up, I’ve always known about the Proverbs woman. She was thought of as a mysterious and unattainable goal. She was without a doubt perfect. But, we mere women could never be perfect. Even with all our achievements and our humble hearts we could never really be a Proverbs woman right?
In my posts about dating and men this week I asked the question of what is a good man. I wanted to be able to define what I think are some key characteristics of good men. I asked my male friends on Facebook to define what a good man is to them. They did and I was challenged by another blogger, Davina over at Davina Lyons to do the same with women.
I did.
Crickets.
Women didn’t respond. Now, I don’t know if it was because they didn’t see the post appear in their timeline or the fact that they didn’t want to answer and face ridicule, but I thought that I would try to define for both men and women some key characteristics of a good woman.
Let’s start with the ideal woman by many standards. The Proverbs woman. The Bible defines what a good wife should be in the book of Proverbs. That is why we call it the Proverbs woman. For sake of time, I will just tell you that she is perfect. We, mere women are not perfect. But, I want to break down some of her characteristics for you.
Proverbs 31:10-12 (NRSV)
A capable wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.
Although the Proverbs woman is the wife, we are going to look at dating as a process of finding a wife to marry. So, in essence the woman that you are dating should have some key characteristics. She should be someone that you could see yourself marrying.
In the passage above she is defined as capable. Capable would be that she is skilled and competent. Let’s apply these in modern terms. She should have a job. Whether her job is to take care of the children or the home or go to work she is by all means capable to do something to make a man’s life easier. She is his partner.
“She is far more precious than jewels.” That means that her worth is more than jewels. The Hope Diamond, Bugatti or Warren Buffett’s billions can’t touch her. She is precious. How do you treat precious items? You take care of them.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” In layman terms she is never out here scheming on her husband. She is not unfaithful. She is loyal in deeds and actions so he has no reason to doubt that she is true and honest.
“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” You see that huh? She’s not spiteful or malicious. She loves her husband and does him good all her life. How many of us get mad and take it out (whether fairly or not) on our spouses? It’s hard. Our tongues can be wicked.
The Proverbs woman is described in much more detail as someone who makes her own clothes, rises when it is dark to take care of the house, etc. She’s pretty amazing. But, if you know that you’re not the Proverbs woman but a good woman then you should definitely have some of these characteristics:
- Loves God
- Faithful
- Supportive
- Follows her husband (i.e. submits because he’s being led by God)
- Knows her worth
- Takes care of herself (physically, mentally, spiritually and financially)
- Is his help mate
So, there you have it. The details/characteristics of a good woman. This is by all means not an inclusive list. There are many more things to add. We all can’t be the “Proverbs woman” which seems impossible because she is exceptional, but being a good woman means knowing your worth and bringing more than a big booty and a smile to the table.
A Thomas Point of View 
Lovely post, Tikeetha! I was brought up on the Proverbs woman and when I realized it was “unattainable”, I felt very inadequate. But now I know that, like anything, it is a guideline. And, to be honest, now that I am not trying I am a little closer to being, as you say, a good wife/woman. I need to go back and read your other posts on this!
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Love it. We all fall short of that Proverbs woman sis.
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It did not appear on my timeline but I will respond.
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Thanks sis
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Great post, Tikeetha! Here are a few qualities of a good woman: honest, kind, intelligent, confident, resourceful, healthy, and patient. We can be all of these or a couple of these and still be good for someone else. I have not yet met a Proverbs 31 woman, but it doesn’t hurt to aspire to be the best YOU possible.
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Absolutely. The key is to be more than a pretty face. Substance. Thank you Michelle.
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The absolute best template for us to work toward. But you know what Sis? Sometimes it’s like balancing an chemistry equation –trying to get it all right.
But, I guess that’s part of the process š
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Yep. With age comes wisdom.
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I think this is a really difficult question, because the perfect woman depends on each person’s preferences! For example, you’ve included God on your list, but I wouldn’t because I’m not religious. A lot of the others should be true for everyone, but I really think it depends on the partner š
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Absolutely. Thank you for commenting
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This one is a total masterpiece!!š
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Thank you
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As always š YOU DELIVER! The Proverbs Woman is certainly a template that one can strive toward but I believe her motivation must be of God and not her man. In other words, she must be faithful in her walk and true to herself above and beyond her mates expectations.
I see women work hard to “please” her man to her detriment (shrinking to make him bigger). That isn’t the Proverbs woman! Of course, a GOOD man wouldn’t allow his woman to do that. Right?
I shared your post to my FB page. ā¤ļøļø
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Yes sis! So true. Absolutely. That’s how I learned that I wasn’t doing and being all that God wanted me to be because I was shrinking to make him bigger. God, doesn’t want that. A woman who has a good man would never do that because he would of course support her dreams and pray over her life. We have to encourage our girls and women alike to be good women. Thanks for sharing sis! Thanks again for the inspiration.
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Reblogged this on femininematerz and commented:
I found this post by Teeketha interesting… Who is a good woman?…. Well I certainly want to attempt being a better woman. Enjoy reading and visiting her page for more fabulous stuff.
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Thanks so much sis for the reblog!
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Many times this does seem unattainable but the way you’ve presented it makes me feel that I am partially there! Need to work on finances.
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Aww, thank you so much. We’re not perfect, but we can all be good women. Me too sis. I’m trying to reduce my debt. Pay off some bills and buy a house.
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Nice post š
(Confession: I could hold my tongue a little more)
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Me too. Me too. LOL. I’m in the same boat.
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Well articulated. I’ve never held myself up to be a Proverbs woman because that’s impossible! I just do my best š
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Yep, as long as we do our best we can’t go wrong.
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Proverbs gives us a template to go by and the Bible gives us instructions for our daily lives but we all fall short. A good woman is one who has a relationship with God. She is submissive, intelligent, a hardworker, and wise. For me, I wanted to be that Proverbs woman, but I understood that I can’t live up to those expectations. I can provide a good and loving home, but, somedays it is going to be unkempt. Submission was the biggest problem that I had to deal with. Growing up, my father took care of things even though my mom worked as well. My mom took care of us while he took care of the house (bills) but she had to pick up the slack when his alcoholism reared its ugly head. Now I strive to be me. Financially, I make more and its fine with him and we make all our decisions together. I am not a PROVERBS WOMAN but she has given us and men a template to go by!
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Yes, it’s all about striving to do your best. Like you said, it’s a template.
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More or less, it shouts out the real essence of an ideal woman Teekitha.
Pretty well written. š
Nobody is perfect, including women. A good human being is all one should try to become. And the day you do become that, you will gradually become a good man or a woman.
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Absolutely. Strive to be better than yesterday.
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Strive to do our best and be honest with ourselves along the way.
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So true.
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