Okay, this post is gonna hurt some of ya’ll’s feelings, but oh well. You can stop reading now. I ain’t gonna argue with the internet. But, let’s get real about some things shall we?
You still here? Good. Let me tell you what I can’t stand…women who don’t own their own issues. Now, before you say “T, men have issues too. I know that sis, but we’re dealing with yours right now.”
One of my biggest pet peeves is people that are not accountable. You don’t accept accountability for your own drama. We all make mistakes. We have to own them and keep moving forward. We can’t continue to act like we’re perfect and have never done anything.
Last week as I was perusing Facebook and my girlfriend is an author and she always poses questions that people send her. This was the question of the day:
I broke up with my ex three years ago and recently found out he is getting married to the girl he cheated on me with. He wants our son to be in their wedding but I don’t know how I feel about this. Should I allow our son to be in the wedding of the woman who stole daddy? Is that the question?
Sigh. Tough situation to be in. I responded with this:
Yep. Let him be in the wedding if he wants too. It’s hard to not stoop to their level, but we have to be bigger.
Why? Because I truly believe that we have to be the bigger person. It’s their child too. Many comments were the same. However, there were a couple of women that decided that we were lying and should stop telling the woman to be the bigger person. Here were a couple of the comments:
All ya’ll Michelle Obamba “when they go low, we go high” people trip me out….DON’T SAY NOTHING IF YOU HAVE NEVER GONE THROUGH THIS TYPE OR HURT AND BETRAYAL…sounds good on paper but in reality? The child is 4 yrs old…so HIM NOT BEING IN THIS LOSER’S WEDDING FOR 1 DAY IS NOT GOING TO DESTROY THEIR RELATIONSHIP FOR THE NEXT 40 YRS….THIS FATHER IS SPITEFUL, INSENSITIVE AND SELFISH…PERIOD…call a spade a spade…HE IS ONLY THINKING OF HIMSELF LIKE HE DID WHEN HE CHEATED…THAT’S HIS M.O.
And all the men and women who support this B.S. need to go have a seat in time out
since when did demanding respect becoming “stooping to their level”. Why does everyone expect this woman to become some kind of MARTYR for a ratchet negro…is that all Black people can be….Martyrs? Hell if we had of fought back in the 60’s instead of being martyrs we wouldn’t have Trump’s retarded ass in the White House
Oh, this post was lively. I decided to get out of it because I don’t have time to go back and forth with people who are in their feelings. My response doesn’t change. These women were in their feelings and of course a man called them on it. They were hot. However, your response clearly show that you were in your feelings.
The comments that were attached were about them and not about the child. They were not answering the questions. They were adding things that were not mentioned in the question that I wondered if it was one of them. They were wanting validation for their choices. Umm, where they do that at?
I don’t know anything about the people involved other than the question posed. So, we can’t assume that the father is spiteful, insensitive and such. That was a jump unless you know the couple personally or it’s you? Whatever the reason how can you put all this on the man?
This is where accountability comes in.
Are you being accountable?
What I’m saying is that you chose him. You chose to father a child with that man. He cheated on you. He’s marrying the woman that he cheated on you with. Is it right? Nope, but is it the kid’s fault that you chose wrong? Does that make him a bad father? We have to stop confusing being a father with being a boyfriend and a husband. We have to accept accountability for our choices in partners.
Yes, we chose them.
They may lie, cheat, steal, etc., but they didn’t force us into a relationship with them. We chose them. We seem to forget that and want to put the children in the middle. We can’t do that. We have to keep our emotions about who they are as a person out of it for the sake of our children.
I ended my comments with this:
To each his own. I gave my opinion and whether you agree or not is up to you. That doesn’t make yours right or mine wrong. Children are affected by the choices of their parents whether they be good or bad.
What are your thoughts?