I told you in last week’s post entitled Parenting: Discipline Part I how Munch had disrespected his teacher and the level of disrespect had me questioning who was this little boy. I know that many of you experienced parents are probably laughing at me right now, but I genuinely had no idea who this young man was. But, I had to discipline him because he had to understand the lesson.
The lesson that I was trying to teach is about learning when to speak. It’s hard. We tend to speak first and think later. I get it. But, that’s a lesson you learn over time and it was something that I had to teach now. I explained to him that the Bible is full of lessons about holding your tongue and how you can make things worse. We read James 3:5 which states:
James 3:5 New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits.
How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire!
We didn’t stop there. We read Psalm 19:14 which states:
Psalm 19:14 King James Version (KJV)
14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
I explained to Munch that it’s not easy to bridle your tongue in the face of things you may consider unjust, but you have too. We all do. I tried to tell him that we will all fall short but that he needed to learn self-control and it won’t happen overnight. You just have to keep at it.
There was a lesson in there for me. We all need to learn how to bridle our tongues. He didn’t get TV or electronic privileges and no dessert. He was unhappy, but he understood that there was a consequence to the action. We talked, we read and we went to the library. We spent the weekend redirecting negative thoughts and bridling our tongues.
This parenting journey is rough.
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A Thomas Point of View 
Thanks for sharing your parenting experience once again.
Disciplining our kids is good even though they won’t understand it all now. But later they will come to appreciate it.
As a boy, there were times I felt my mum was being too tough on me. But now I know better, it was for my good and I appreciate her for it.
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Thanks Victor.
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Sooo, question: where’s the line between speaking up for oneself (or others) and bridling one’s tongue?
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Sarcasm is disrespectful. You can respectfully speak up for yourself. He said he didn’t do anything wrong. He was disruptive in class and to the teacher as she tried to quiet the boys. He was more concerned with being right than understanding how there is a time and place to address your concerns. That could have been achieved by waiting until before class ended or immediately following. My son believes that EVERYTHING requires a response. I’ve tried to explain that EVERYTHING doesn’t require a response and it is just as important to listen as it is to speak. He is a child. Adults fight battles with other adults.
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I should’ve added this…I know in the initial post he was sarcastic and that can be inappropriate, especially if it’s with a negative intent, but I’m wondering how he’ll learn that sometimes it’s important to speak up?
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I have no problem with him speaking up for himself but he could have kept quiet when the teacher was speaking to the boys. The boy acknowledged he was at fault. What Munch showed the teacher is that a sarcastic tongue is worth more than respect. He stood on the side of right, but instead of practicing silence he decided that sarcasm was more important. I’ve spoken up for myself plenty of times without resorting to sarcasm. That is the lesson that I’m teaching him.
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