Absolutely! A relationship is built on honesty. Shoot I can’t even lie about the smallest of things to my spouse! Could I get away with a lot of things? Sure. But that dang conscience is always ridding me like a jockey! I expect my man to have the same integrity!
TOUGH question. I knew and I wanted confirmation and I got it. It was very difficult. I wanted to know what I wasn’t doing and how to repair our relationship. I knew because he was acting different. His routine changed, his habits changed. Things that I knew he wouldn’t do, he started doing. I checked the phone, I did it all. It was hurtful but not devastating. The reason it wasn’t devastating because I was cheating too.
Yes, we are still together. No counseling but listening to each other makes a big difference. Don’t get me wrong, I had the divorce papers sent to him and everything, because my mind said leave but my heart said stay.
It is such a tough question to answer. I would want to know if I am getting cheated on. This is to know if there is something that I can do to salvage my relationship with my significant other. It is also to equip myself with the knowledge of the reasons behind the cheating. Cheating is a complex issue that is not to be blame by only one party but both have a part in it.
Izrael, I agree with you. I wanted to know what I could do to better our relationship. My biggest problem was lack of communication. He is the talker but I didn’t feel like he was talking to me but at me. I couldn’t do anything right, so I sought elsewhere and he did too. We have remained together, we did separate for about 6 months and decided to LISTEN to each other and that was what we both needed. We are putting the pieces back together again.
I have thought about it. In some ways, I have. Open letter to side chicks but some stuff was an embellishment. He’s married. Those are just a few that I wrote about.
Totally agree. Cheating is usually never just you being the greatest person in the world and the other person is a butt. We all play a role. Doesn’t mean the other person should cheat, but it doesn’t absolve you of any part you may have played. Great answer.
Yes i would want to know. 9/10 when your spouse is cheating the person they are cheating with knows about you and just doesn’t give a F***. Why should i sit back and be humiliated because my spouse doesn’t have enough respect not to do it let alone tell me. People cheat because of a need, or lack of something in the relationship. So yes i would want to know to see if this is something we could fix or not.
We start talking about if we were together. Sexting, sharing our relationship woes and worries. Imagining a life with each other. That goes beyond flirting into an emotional relationship. You start to develop feelings for that person.
I would have wanted to know but I know without a doubt that I would have never believed it. I trusted the Loser puppet more than I had ever trusted anybody. Now? It would be a moot point because I will NEVER have a relationship again.
Well, from experience I say YES. I would have really appreciated knowing MUCH earlier than I found out about it. I would want to know so that I can leave. I don’t want to be with a cheater, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Honestly though, 6 years later I can forgive the infidelity, what I can’t forgive are all the lies of the before and the after!!
Two years ago I would have said yes. These days, I live with the mantra if you want to cheat “Good Bye” I’ll catch the next bus. Guess divorce has made me jaded in that aspect. Now if my better half was cheating with a man whore heroin addict with more spots on his junk than a leopard I’d at least like to know so I can get myself tested.
Yes. Only then you will find a way to solve the issues there are. A hard question. A good question. I would want my partner to be the one telling me though. In order to make the relationship work again it has to be him telling me. Of course I would want my friends to tell me too if they’d know but he would have to be the one mentioning it between the two of us.
Yep. I discovered my ex husband’s affair. He confessed after I read his emails and it was the most heartbreaking thing ever. We went to a therapist and tried to work it out.
I would rather know, but only by spouse telling me. We could work on it then. But if I found out otherwise there would be no suffering through the working it out.
A Thomas Point of View 
Absolutely! A relationship is built on honesty. Shoot I can’t even lie about the smallest of things to my spouse! Could I get away with a lot of things? Sure. But that dang conscience is always ridding me like a jockey! I expect my man to have the same integrity!
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I love it! Integrity!
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If there was a risk of infection to me yes. Like unprotected sex. Otherwise, I really don’t know.
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Understood.
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Hmmmn….
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knowing will kill me for sure but living in a lie and finding out he was cheating is a disaster. so yes i wanna know….
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Yes, I understand.
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TOUGH question. I knew and I wanted confirmation and I got it. It was very difficult. I wanted to know what I wasn’t doing and how to repair our relationship. I knew because he was acting different. His routine changed, his habits changed. Things that I knew he wouldn’t do, he started doing. I checked the phone, I did it all. It was hurtful but not devastating. The reason it wasn’t devastating because I was cheating too.
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Wow sis! Did you stay?
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Yes, we are still together. No counseling but listening to each other makes a big difference. Don’t get me wrong, I had the divorce papers sent to him and everything, because my mind said leave but my heart said stay.
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Love it!
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Yes, I would want to know. I know some people would rather not know, but I believe I would want to know because the unknowing would kill me deeper.
Shay-lon
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Me too. I would rather hurt now than later.
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It is such a tough question to answer. I would want to know if I am getting cheated on. This is to know if there is something that I can do to salvage my relationship with my significant other. It is also to equip myself with the knowledge of the reasons behind the cheating. Cheating is a complex issue that is not to be blame by only one party but both have a part in it.
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Izrael, I agree with you. I wanted to know what I could do to better our relationship. My biggest problem was lack of communication. He is the talker but I didn’t feel like he was talking to me but at me. I couldn’t do anything right, so I sought elsewhere and he did too. We have remained together, we did separate for about 6 months and decided to LISTEN to each other and that was what we both needed. We are putting the pieces back together again.
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I love it sis! Forgiveness and owning your part so that you two can fix what God put together. Pretty awesome. You need to share your testimony.
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I have thought about it. In some ways, I have. Open letter to side chicks but some stuff was an embellishment. He’s married. Those are just a few that I wrote about.
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LOL. Post the links so I can share.
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I will do!
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https://aflawedruby2015.com/2016/01/16/open-letter-to-the-side-chicks/
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https://aflawedruby2015.com/2016/01/10/youre-married-bye/
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Totally agree. Cheating is usually never just you being the greatest person in the world and the other person is a butt. We all play a role. Doesn’t mean the other person should cheat, but it doesn’t absolve you of any part you may have played. Great answer.
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Yes i would want to know. 9/10 when your spouse is cheating the person they are cheating with knows about you and just doesn’t give a F***. Why should i sit back and be humiliated because my spouse doesn’t have enough respect not to do it let alone tell me. People cheat because of a need, or lack of something in the relationship. So yes i would want to know to see if this is something we could fix or not.
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Love that. Yes, wanting to know empowers you to decide if you should stay and work it out or leave and move on. But, the power becomes yours again.
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Yes i totally agree!
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I was informed as you read in my post and it was awful! But I would not want to not know either! Then you can make choices and be informed
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Yes, the knowing empowers you to decide if you should leave or stay.
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yes for sure!
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truth in everything! The only way I can live is in truth. So yes. absolutely.
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Me too.
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Would you consider texting another guy with some flirting cheating? Like if you were trying to work it out with someone?
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Nope. To me it is physical or emotional. Not just flirting.
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What do you mean by emotional??
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We start talking about if we were together. Sexting, sharing our relationship woes and worries. Imagining a life with each other. That goes beyond flirting into an emotional relationship. You start to develop feelings for that person.
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Even if you never see them??
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LOL. Yep. If you’re imagining being with them and sexting them yes. You’re engaging in an emotional affair.
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I would definitely want to know. Then it would be over…
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No second chances huh?
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No. Non. Nein…it would always be at the back of my mind.
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I would have wanted to know but I know without a doubt that I would have never believed it. I trusted the Loser puppet more than I had ever trusted anybody. Now? It would be a moot point because I will NEVER have a relationship again.
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You don’t want another relationship ever?
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NEVER. After forty-one years of living with a lying, cheating, bullying narcissist….I have learned my lesson…besides, I could never trust a man again.
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Well, from experience I say YES. I would have really appreciated knowing MUCH earlier than I found out about it. I would want to know so that I can leave. I don’t want to be with a cheater, no ifs, ands or buts about it. Honestly though, 6 years later I can forgive the infidelity, what I can’t forgive are all the lies of the before and the after!!
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Definitely understand that.
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Definitely. If nothing, I’d want to get tested to make sure I didn’t catch something.
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that’s my main reason and then I would kick him to the curb
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Two years ago I would have said yes. These days, I live with the mantra if you want to cheat “Good Bye” I’ll catch the next bus. Guess divorce has made me jaded in that aspect. Now if my better half was cheating with a man whore heroin addict with more spots on his junk than a leopard I’d at least like to know so I can get myself tested.
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LMAO. Man whore heroin addict?
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Yes, for so many reasons
.yes.
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Yes. Only then you will find a way to solve the issues there are. A hard question. A good question. I would want my partner to be the one telling me though. In order to make the relationship work again it has to be him telling me. Of course I would want my friends to tell me too if they’d know but he would have to be the one mentioning it between the two of us.
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Yep. I discovered my ex husband’s affair. He confessed after I read his emails and it was the most heartbreaking thing ever. We went to a therapist and tried to work it out.
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Wow…
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Reblogged this on A Momma's View and commented:
A very good question and I was wondering what your take on it is?
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Thanks for the reblog!
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I would rather know, but only by spouse telling me. We could work on it then. But if I found out otherwise there would be no suffering through the working it out.
Either way I would just need to know.
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Thank you for commenting. I totally agree. I would want to know.
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