Ya’ll know I’m a feminist right? I’ve talked about it. I’m also a woman who is in love with this great guy. However, having Mr. C in my life doesn’t validate my opinions on relationships. He is a man and I’m a woman. Both of us have opinions and I am not defined by his existence in my life. Nor will you validate my opinions because he and I are together.
Now, I know you’re probably wondering what’s got my panties in a bunch, so let me tell you…On Saturday, I was at the hair salon and we had a very lively conversation. My hairstylist has both hair stylists and barbers in her salon so you get to have the “male/female” responses to those intriguing questions. There were many topics discussed and one was about money and dating. As always there were opinions on both sides.
However, the question was asked “If I make $65,000, how much less can a man I’m dating make?” The women responded in earnest with the majority saying $50,000. I responded $55,000. The woman who asked the question then asked me “So, he can’t make less than $10,000 than you?” I responded “Yes.”
The conversation in the shop went back and forth about dating and a man said “Why do women ask for stuff they are not bringing to the table?” I told him, that I didn’t know those women. I bring what I ask to the table and I expect the same. So, the question was asked if you made $100,000 would you date a man that made $10,000?
Would you? I mean unless he’s in graduate school and only working the summers and holidays why would I date a man that is financially dependent on me? I’m not talking marriage. I’m talking the dating stage. I meet you and you meet me and you want to go out for an undetermined amount of time to see if we could build a relationship.
Dating. Not marriage. Dating.
So, the conversation took an interesting turn when one woman said that she would take that $10,000 he made and turn it into $500,000 in a year. I responded “Not legally you won’t.” I wasn’t about illegal activity or flipping money because I knew that I wouldn’t date a man making $10,000.
She then comes over and asks me do I have a man? I and my hair stylist responded yes. She asked, “How long have you two been going out?” I told her that we’ve dated a year. She then asked “Are you going to get married?” I told her “Someday. I’m not ready to get married anytime soon and we’ve talked about it. We’re in no rush. We’ve both been there and done that.” She then pauses.
She tells me that she will never get married because she fears the ability to be faithful. I listened and said “Women should be allowed to choose whether they will marry or reproduce without explaining their selves to anyone. Your life and your choice.”
But, it dawned on me that she only asked the question of whether or not I have a man to try and prove me wrong. If I didn’t have a man that would be proof that my dating standards for salary are too high. Maybe if I dated a man that made $10,000 a year I could be happy.
Why do people try to sell you this lie?