2016 dating dating chronicles relationships

Being Comfortable in the Present

This is a follow-up to my post Do You Still Love? where I discussed how Mr. C stated that when we got married he wouldn’t want me to go out with men that I’ve ever smashed. The comments were coming in and I have to tell you that I was happy you commented and surprised that many people felt like Mr. C in that you should let the past be in the past.

It’s funny because people would have thought that I would be upset over it and maybe when I was younger I would have. But, he said that he wouldn’t want me to go out with them. Not be their friends, deny their calls or texts or emails. Just don’t go out with them. Is that really so hard not to do if we get married?

No, it’s not. He wasn’t trying to change me or control my friendships with men. He was saying that when we crossed into that threshold of marriage that he wanted to ensure that our bond was in tact by letting the past be the past. He wasn’t telling me to end relationships, just adjust them for the sake of our union.

When I took a step back and realized what he was saying, I realized that I could do that. It wasn’t difficult. It didn’t require a huge sacrifice. I wasn’t giving up anything. I was respecting his feelings. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Be respectful of others wishes.

I have a wonderful man who loves and respects me each and every day. He makes me feel as though I am the smartest and most beautiful woman around. Having that and appreciating what and who he is makes me realize that there is nothing more important than being comfortable in the present.

I am where I am supposed to be. At this moment in time with this great man who didn’t ask me to give up friendships but to not hang out with men that I’ve smashed with in my past. And you know what? I’m good with that.


  1. I’m really old fashioned in a lot of ways and IMHO I don’t think men and women (who might be sexually attracted to each other) can be friends. I’m totally not cool with my husband having female friends. I’m with your mister on this one.Happy that you’re happy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for commenting. Yep, he’s pretty amazing and in the end this is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had and he’s cool with me being friends just not hanging out with them (i.e. dinner, drinks, friend dates, etc) so I am totally understandable. But, you’re right. Although I may not be attracted to them anymore, they may still have an attraction and I wouldn’t want that to create problems in my relationship. Thanks for commenting.


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