Dating Chronicles: Take Two

I told you in yesterday’s post how I met and fell in love with a man after my ex that really was a filler. This was difficult because I didn’t believe in love, but after trying on-line dating and meeting this man that wooed me, I believed I could meet someone. He wasn’t the one.

So, I ended things and took a brief break. Until one day I reactivated my profile and met another man. He was different than most. Funny and short with a body made of pure muscle he had some endearing qualities. He was older than the last man and definitely one of the oldest men that I had dated. He as 8 years older than me. I didn’t even agree to meet him for an official date until 3 months of back and forth consistent communication.

He understood. Never pressured me. I believed that the age gap had made us somewhat able to relate. How wrong I had been. I wrote about him and our experiences in getting to know each other when I asked him Why Are You Single? He was showing me a different side. Not romance, but chivalry. We both led busy lives. His son was home from college and had no driver’s license. He lived in Baltimore County and that was a long way from me living in the southern part of Prince George’s County.

We made it work when we could. I was a soccer mom with a pretty predictable schedule. I wanted to take my time and make sure that he was genuine so I was dating a couple of other men during that time. Nothing serious. All were fillers. My heart wasn’t in it. It was with the last one. I was getting over him.

But, Mr. K had problems. Commitment problems. Time was his biggest issue. We could never connect. I believed him when he made excuses. I was being naive. Too trustworthy for someone who didn’t even know the meaning of the word. He cancelled more dates due to him being sick than anyone I have ever met in my life. One of the hardest ones was to the Beer, Bourbon and BBQ festival.

We were supposed to smoke cigars and drink. I only lived 3 miles away and I was hoping to get hammered. He cancelled. I went with my best friend and had a great time, but it wasn’t the same. It ended shortly thereafter because I don’t like liars. I have a smart mouth and I don’t have time for the fake ones. I wrote it about here:  And It’s Done.

I became frustrated about the lack of honesty and transparency when dating. I still had contact with Mr. K. Not sure why. Maybe I was believing that we could just be friends, but did I really need another friend? Probably not, but I was hard headed and I started to let my guard down with him.

Giving him more chances than I would with anyone else because I believed that somewhere there was a nice guy there. Why? Because he would say the nicest things to me. Why was this so hard? I wasn’t looking to rush down the altar (been there and done that) nor was I looking for a father to my son (he has one) so what was the issue? I know that I intimidate a lot of men for various reasons (a lot of it is my intellect) but I really wanted to find someone that could appreciate all the awesomeness of me.

But, I was sliding into old behaviors and sliding into the bed with the one that I loved and left. I missed him. I missed us. Old feelings started to resurface. I was getting caught up again. He was a bad habit that I couldn’t break. I was hurting from the one that I thought was awesome with all the great qualities and feeling lonely because the man I loved didn’t love me back.

I needed to get off this dang roller coaster of emotions and stop myself. Eventually, Mr. K slow faded me. It was cool. I figured it should have happened months before. I deserved better. I needed and wanted someone to love and take care of me. Not financially, but emotionally. I needed my own love. I craved it. I made a decision.

Quotes About Bad Relationships 1000+ Bad Relationship Quotes On Pinterest | Bad Relationship

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Roots

I have roots.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t.

Roots that are planted firmly where I stand.

In this state that is not my birth state, I’ve created a home.

A home with people that love and support.

Family and friends that I have known for years.

Some roots have died off.

It’s okay.

They weren’t watered.

They weren’t built to last.

There is a time for everything.

But, if you look into the ground you will see my roots

deep and strong

Like a tree I stand

Bending, not breaking

Swaying with the storms of life

being strengthened at the root

 

This post was inspired by the Daily Post. The word prompt was roots.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Is It A Date?

Is it a date if you go out with a man that you’re friends with and he pays? You’ve never been intimate and have no desire to be other than friends with each other. Would you consider it a date? What if you’ve been friends for more than 5 years?

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Random: The Lost Ones

Do you ever wonder about your relationships that have ended? I’m not talking about just romantic relationships. I’m talking about all relationships. Male and female. Friendships and/or relationships. Does it bother you that you’re no longer friends or do you accept that they served their purpose and it’s time to move on?

 

Things I Let Go

In 2017,  I realized that I wasn’t going to carry other people’s baggage anymore. I’m living proof that you have to go through things in order to get to your happiness. I’m in a happy place. But, I don’t take it for granted.

What I used to do was carry the baggage of others. I would allow them to dump their problems/issues on me and then try to make them feel better. Umm, not going to happen in 2017.

What I realized is that I can’t carry someone else’s baggage. As my girlfriend said “You don’t work for the airlines boo. Tell them to carry their own bags.” No truer words.

I’ve spent much of my life trying to people please. I tend to excuse the negative behaviors of those I love because they may be going through something. Not anymore.

I don’t have the time nor the energy to be anyone’s clean-up woman. I have a wonderful life with a beautiful son and a great man. I have many activities and projects that I’m working on. I don’t have time for the unresolved drama of others.

I know it may seem harsh. But, I can’t. I won’t. And neither should you.

I understand that the world has many people with issues, but I’m in therapy and working on mine. I can’t be around people who are not doing the same. I’m trying  to be better for myself, for my son and for my man. I can’t deal with those that are practicing avoidance.

Life is too short. Let go and get help.

 

Monday Notes: 3 Lessons from a BFF Breakup

A great post by KE regarding breakups with your friends.

I usually can’t write about something, unless I’m completely over it. That’s why I have about 6,000 notes related to breaking up with my bff and no posts about it. Ever since June, I’d try to begin…

Source: Monday Notes: 3 Lessons from a BFF Breakup