Mr. C and I were talking the other day and I mentioned to him that people shouldn’t change after they get married. I told him that if you know that I like having drinks with my girlfriends once a month, you shouldn’t expect me to give that up. He agreed to a point. He said that one thing that he’s okay with as a boyfriend but not as a husband is me going out with my male friends who I’ve smashed.
I was shocked.
Really? Why? His response was that a man who has already smashed you has an agenda and will try to push up on you regardless of whether or not you’re married. I disagreed. I told him that if they pushed up on me now knowing that I’m in a relationship that it would make me walk away.
I then asked him what if he’s married? I told him that I have friends that I smashed 16 plus years ago, they are married and we’re still friends. What about them? He thought about it and said “Maybe, they would be okay.” I laughed.
I talked to my friend about it and he said “I agree with him.” I was shocked. I told him that what it means is that unless you get married (and you’ve sworn off marriage) we won’t be allowed to be friends anymore. He said “I know.”
He then sent me the following picture and asked me my thoughts:
Interesting post right? He wondered is it true? I said not for me. I said that I will always have love for him, but I’m not still in love with him. My love for him means that I would visit him in the hospital and I may think about donating an organ or bone marrow if he needed it.
But, I got to thinking about the implications of the post. I still had love for a lot of my exes. I guess what I’m saying is that I still do love most of my exes. Not in love, but there is love there. Relationships ended, but we had friendship and that friendship is so encouraging to me. They aren’t trying to smash me. Well, if they are they’ve never said it. I think we just grew up and kept in touch.
So, I ask you this question…Is it true that if you were past lovers with someone and you can remain friends that you are still in love or that you never loved them?
Talk to me.