2017 advice appreciate dating marriage relationships

Why The Paper Matters

I’ll be the first to tell you that marriage is hard as heck. Is it rewarding? Umm, sometimes. Is it beneficial to you? If you marry the right person. Isn’t it just a piece of paper? No. It’s more than that.

Think about it. The Declaration of Independence is more than a piece of paper. How about the U.S. Constitution? Pieces of paper matter to everyone. A piece of paper gives you a driver’s license. A passport. Paper matters.

So, why would a marriage license only be a piece of paper? It’s not. It’s more than that.

I’ve known people who never got married. They had children and bought houses and believed that paper didn’t matter. Until one day they realized it did matter. When did they realize that? When the person they loved died.

I know of a woman who believed that her parents were married all her life. Her dad died. Her mom tried to get the life insurance company to work with the funeral home to do an assignment of benefits so they could bury him. Guess what happened?

Her parents were never married. Her dad left his life insurance policy to his former boss. Her mom had no legal leg to stand on to contest the policy because she wasn’t the spouse. They had to pool together to find money to bury her dad. The former boss didn’t help nor care.

Let me break it down simpler for you. If you are a legal spouse, most states will say that a spouse has rights to the insurance regardless of your husband changing it to someone else. You could go to court and fight the beneficiary form. It matters.

A friend told me that years ago a woman she knew was with a man for many years. They bought a house together, loved each other and created many memories. He got sick and she was there taking care of him and never leaving his side. Coordinating with his children over care and all things with their dad. He died.

His children put her out of the house that their father owned because they weren’t married and her name wasn’t on the deed. Disappointing. Yep. Disturbing. Absolutely. But, what rights did she have? None. She wasn’t the spouse.

Paper matters.

I believe in the institution of marriage. I believe that once you’ve gotten to the point that you’ve decided that there is no one else that you would rather be with then you should definitely consider marriage. Legal documents can be contested once you’re dead by family members or children. The law will never take it away from the wife. Remember that.


Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.


  1. Great post! I didn’t realise this until recently, now I’m so careful who I invest my precious time with. Imagine giving a man all the best years of your life and have kids for him, and be left with nothing. Marriage is a protection for the woman and the children pray many women will fight for that protection. Paper is everything👌

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This is true unless you live in say…South Carolina. In that state, if you live together for five seconds and present yourself as being married, in the eyes of the law…you are. Too bad I didn’t push for a bigamy charge alongside the adultery charge. Common law still rules here.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great advice. Many don’t get married here and since its the only province with no “common law”, you are entitled to nothing except $ for the children. Many don’t realize that. Many also don’t realize that in a life/death/pull the plug decision, not being married means you have no say in the matter.


  4. I thought it was only me who thought like that. I also believe that once you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you both should tie the knot! I read about people saying that they were in a relationship for years and decided to get married only for it not to last. My take on that is, probably you really weren’t meant to be together because if you’re practically living together and doing everything like husband and wife and when you decide to do the correct thing it ends, then clearly something was wrong. I know for me, I won’t want to be just known as someone’s girlfriend the rest of my life. I prefer WIFE!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The thing is that they don’t realize the legal ramifications of staying in a long term relationship with someone who has family or children. If he has no family then maybe you could get everything if there is nobody to contest the will, but the last thing I want to do is sit up and love on you and take care of you on your dying bed to be told that your child protests the will and wants everything and then could get it. WTH? I’m not about that foolishness.

      Liked by 1 person

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