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Let’s Talk About Sex

So, we’ve all heard about Usher giving herpes to a woman that he had sex with and then paying her off. Now, another woman has come forward and said that she had sex with him back in April (he’s married) at her house and then in New Orleans and that Usher never shared his diagnosis with her. She’s asking for 20 million! Say what? Yep, 20 million.

Now, back to the paid settlement woman. This woman said in court documents that she saw a greenish discharge from his penis and Usher told her he was negative for any sexually transmitted diseases. What is wrong with this woman? Let me be clear to any man or woman….If you see some green stuff coming out of a man’s penis or a woman’s vagina – please run. Why would you then have unprotected sex with someone after that? Because they are a celebrity?

That was mind-blowing. On to the next case where she is asking for 20 million. I understand she’s scared and is now saying she has she tested positive, but is money going to make it better? Why’d you have unprotected sex with him? He’s married. Why were you even sleeping with him? Ugh! I suspect that a lot more women are going to coming forward and bring law suits against him. I feel for Usher. It is his private medical that has been shared publicly, but dang man. Why didn’t you tell the women you were sleeping with? Give them the option to decide if they want to sleep with you especially since you knew you had herpes.

All this drama got me to thinking when did we get so cavalier about sharing our bodies with just anyone. I don’t care if he’s a superstar or Rodney on the corner. What happened to practicing safe sex?

Remember, in the 90’s there was all the talk about wrapping it up and safe sex and even Salt-n-Pepa sang Let’s Talk About Sexy Baby. When did we stop caring about safe sex? When did we see so little value in our bodies?

Was it when we realized that Majic Johnson is still living with HIV and fine? When did we become risk takers? With our bodies? With our minds?

A friend of mine told me a few years ago that most people don’t get tested for Herpes when they do their annual physicals or gynecological visits for women. It has to be specifically asked for. What? How the hell are doctors not doing this?

His doctor told him that herpes is so common and causes no problems that it’s no big deal. So, the medical community is in a conspiracy? What the hell! We have to be an advocate for our own health. This is no joke.

Wrap it up. Protect yourself. Know your status with everything.


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  1. Herpes testing by blood is not routine because it causes a ton of confusion and you cannot test directly for herpes without an active sore to swab. There are two types, type I and type II. Traditionally type I is oral (fever blisters) and type two is genital but those lines have been blurred by oral sex. The blood test has limited clinical significance and requires a ton of pre-test counseling. For instance, a patient who says, “I have these sores that come and go in my vaginal area. I want testing for herpes but I don’t have actual sores.” A blood test that comes up positive for type II does not mean those sores are actually herpes. For instance those sores could be ingrown hairs or irritation from shaving or chemical depilatories. There are people positive for type II who have never had an active outbreak in their lives or men/women who have been told they have “shingles” outbreaks on their sides or backs but it comes and goes several times a year (herpes, not shingles). What should they say to sexual partners? Without vaginal area outbreaks does it matter? If you are positive for type I (extremely common) what do you say to sexual partners? I need to do a post on this. I have crazy herpes stories!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Please do write a post about it. I didn’t know that. So, Usher could be a carrier but never have an outbreak? I thought testing was standard? I’m learning something new. Okay, I heard that if someone has type 1 and gives oral sex to someone it could be type 2. Is this true? Also, the blood testing is not valid? In Usher’s case the green discharge was nasty af and he apparently was told medically that he has it. His was known. Definitely can’t tell people something you don’t know if you have.


  2. My ex gave me Herpes that he caught from my “best friend”/tramp he brought to live with us. I didn’t know what it was it until 18 years later. Trusting that he had never been unfaithful, and not having been promiscuous when I was young, when I started getting the sores, I thought I was dirty. I got rid of all my silk panties and bought cotton ones. I started showering at least two or three times a day…because like I said, I thought I was dirty.
    Being somewhat of a prude, I never “saw” anything. Our deed was always done in the dark and that wasn’t often because he drank all the time and I couldn’t stand for him to touch me when he was drunk.
    Where I live, if you know you have Herpes and don’t tell the person you are having sex with, they can sue you and take everything you have.
    Unfortunately for me, it has to be within a two year time frame. He said he had never had but one or two outbreaks and I was having them almost weekly. Isn’t he just the luckiest? And he didn’t have to worry about the WTC. She already had it.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Wow! We have to stop being so cavalier about sleeping with people unprotected and then risking the lives of those that you love. Two years is no time. Damn shame that you couldn’t sue him.


  3. Not only should people stop having unprotected sex but I still think 21st century or not, if people practice abstinence all these things won’t be happening. Just wait til you get married or make sure whoever you’re having sexual relations with, you both stay committed to one another and get tested regularly. Don’t leave anything to chance.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. And it goes both ways. Honestly I don’t think she should be asking for any money just because of the fact that she knew he was married so though it may sound harsh, I would say she looked for what she got!

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m in agreement with you, Tikeetha! Sex is fun and all, but you only have one body. One! And contracting an STD is the least of your worries if you don’t protect yourself(beyond the physical) and use discernment. #damnrightimpicky #abstinentlife

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Girl! I don’t know. You pose some good questions, when? Why? How?

    What happened to those commercials advocating for safe sex? I think the media has glamorized sex and we’ve all fallen prey. I’m a big fan of Sex in the City but every episode I ponder how real that lifestyle can be. They jump in and out of beds with no mention of wrapping it up. Not to mention how that type of activity wears on the soul and all the things you can catch even with a condom these days.

    Hell in a handbasket I say!! 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. And another thing i think some ppl are out for a pay day with these celebs no matter how their body or any future kids might pay for it (shame). And i think with your everyday person you cans omehow get caught up thinking that this is The One and blinded by love. And you always have those ppl who think they are invincible to bad things.

    My dad says that ppl don’t value their lives anymore. Seems to be more and more true these days.

    Liked by 4 people

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