I’ve heard so many sad stories on this journey to co-parenting with my ex. People who’ve suffered abuse and have to deal with mental health issues. I’m not judging. I’m just saying that my transition is not like everyone else’s.
I saw this video last week on Facebook and my heart broke. This woman is smashing up her ex’s car. The children were in the back seat:
Now, what is scary as heck about this situation and what has garnered a discussion on co-parenting is whether or not this woman’s behavior was acceptable. I said “Hell, no. She’s dead wrong. The children were in the car. She could have hurt them babies.” But, another woman said “You don’t know what she’s been through.” Umm, whatever.
Then another woman talked about violence in her relationship and how she literally flipped on her abuser who was her child’s father and did the same thing. Was she right? Nope. But, we don’t know the full story. I paused.
I’m not advocating violence on any level. With anyone. Especially with your children around. But, no man or woman is worth me losing my job over because I am mad at them or the situation I find myself in. I get it.
I grew up in a violent home. My dad was abusive. There was blood and the sounds of fists hitting flesh. I don’t wish this on anyone. Those images have stayed with me for years. I can’t ever forget and neither will these children.
It is important that we understand the cycle of abuse. If you are in an abusive situation, please get out. Immediately. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Get help!
If you have children with your abuser, please get them out of that situation. Report all acts of violence immediately to your local law enforcement. You have to be an advocate for yourself.
Don’t lose your children because you are in jail. Don’t allow your partner or ex-partner put you in a situation where you can’t defend your children. If you won’t protect them, then who will?
Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.
A Thomas Point of View 
I can totally understand tempers flying. It’s true that you have no idea what people have been through, though. It’s easy for me to sit here in my position and say that I would have acted a certain way, but who knows in the moment? It begs the question, though, “where’s my head?”
If I’m allowing said situation to control me and consume me, then yes, I would probably respond in a way that isn’t healthy. However, if I’m moving in a healthy direction mentally and spiritually, my priorities are in line.
Regardless, destroying your ex’s car while your babies are in the backseat is a no-go for me. There are better ways to handle things, especially when your own flesh and blood’s well being are at stake.
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I know right? Not in front of the children
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The only way is the peaceful way… especially when children are involved. That is all anyone has to know. Get away and never, never, never allow yourself to be the one who is causing trauma to your children. Ugh.
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I know right. Stronger for our children
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Excellant piece of writing!
I truly wish everyone could love their child MORE than they love their own hate for each other. What you have written is a great way to advocate for the children and gently guide parents to do the right thing.
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Thanks so much Bethany
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The link must’ve been taken down. I agree that violence is never the answer for any situation, especially when children are around. They learn very quickly when observing our behavior.
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Dang! It was a sad video. It didn’t look like the children were hurt physically but more mentally from the violence.
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I also grew up in a home with physical abuse being the norm between my parents. To say that those images stay with a child is putting it lightly. It shapes their personality, and the way they look at and handle future relationships. It shouldn’t happen with or without your children witnessing it. Ever.
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Absolutely agree.
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As soon as I read this post, I knew what you were speaking about so I didn’t even have to watch the video because I’d already seen it on Facebook. I TOTALLY agree with you. Her behavior was unacceptable. Even if he had put her through hell, there is a time and place for everything and that definitely wasn’t the place or time for that outburst! As I sat watching it, I myself became upset because I said to myself if while she was smashing the glass a piece ended up stabbing one of their kids… what would she have done? As adults we need to learn how to have self control!
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Absolutely. I never want my son to see me that angry with anyone.
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Agree!
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