Category: abusive relationship

Ordinary

Posted on by Tikeetha T

It was an ordinary day. On an ordinary street. In an ordinary house. In that house sat three ordinary girls. They were laughing and playing and giggling like the 13 year old girls they were. They talked about boys, dreams and their parents.

They discussed how they hated some of their teachers and school was so boring. They dreamed of summer vacations and new clothes. It was almost over. Summer was almost here and they vowed to make this an extraordinary summer.

Savannah logged into her laptop. She quickly logged into a website and started chatting up her new friend. He was an older boy. He was 18. She liked him. They had been chatting on-line for a few weeks now.

She sent him pictures of herself and he always told her that she was beautiful. She liked that. She never thought of herself as beautiful. Cute and ordinary. However, Paul (that was his name) always made her believe that she was beautiful.

He told her she could be a model. Paul asked her to face time him with her friends around. She did. They giggled and smiled and posed as Paul said that they were beautiful and could all be models.

Paul asked them to meet them in the parking lot at the local mall. They agreed. They told their parents that they were going to the mall and would be back in a couple of hours. They were careful. Nothing would happen to the three of them.

They were taught that you always travel together. So, they did. It was nothing special. A bus took them to the mall and they waited in the parking lot by the local Macy’s. They laughed with the fact that one of them had a boyfriend. They giggled.

They weren’t able to date yet.

Across the parking lot, Paul approached them. He was so sexy. He had on nice clothes and shoes and the biggest smile. His teeth were straight. Wow! He was gorgeous.

They were so busy pointing and smiling at Paul that they didn’t see the van pull up behind them and the men grab them and stuff them in the truck. An ordinary black van filled with men holding them down as they struggled and screamed and then went limp.

Ordinary girls are sold into sex-trafficking every day. We need to do something about this. No more silence please.

 

 

This post is part of the Daily post. The word of the day was ordinary.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/

Minimal

Posted on by Tikeetha T

He assumed that there would be minimal damage. What harm was there in the game he was playing? He wanted her. He had to have her.

She was beautiful. Kind of shy. But, he was attracted to her. Not just her. Others too. But, she would be the one that would be in his bed tonight.

Slowly he hunted her like his prey.

He wined and dined her with minimal thought to how she was falling in love with him. She laughed at his jokes, smiled when he told her she was beautiful and fell captive to his charm. She required minimal things.

She told him that she needed a man that was authentic and transparent. He had to believe and practice honesty in his daily life. His words and actions must be above reproach. He had to be a man that she could trust.

He lied to her about his intentions. No thought or concern to the words that he was using to bring her in. She fell for it. She fell in love.

With a man that was using her for sex. She didn’t know it. She gave her body. Her soul. Her heart and her mind. He was an amazing lover.

He made her feel as though she were the most beautiful and loved woman ever. It was a game. A game of manipulation and seduction. She was of minimal concern. She was dismissed.

He left her alone. Beautiful and broken. She would always remember him. He had left her with HIV because he couldn’t be concerned about how having unprotected sex would affect her. After all, she was of minimal concern to him.

This post is inspired by the Daily Prompt. The word of the day was minimal.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

When the D*ck Has You Delirious

Posted on by Tikeetha T

Most women can remember a time when they had some good sex. A time when all you wanted was a good piece of meat to take the edge off. That man was a champion lover. He knew all the right moves. He was beyond addictive with his bed skills. But, you couldn’t make it work.

Why not?

Probably because he was a male whore. He knew his skills were beyond compare and he felt it his need to share it with every Jane, Sue and Leslie in town. He was a hot commodity. He never really wanted for a traditional relationship. They bothered him. He didn’t have time for one woman. He wanted many.

He wined, dined and probably 69ed you and you started to catch feelings. You imagined a future with him. He was amazing. He was smart, funny and so sweet to you. You my friend were delirious. He was a piece of d*ck that you enjoyed. You and many others.

He didn’t make it a secret that he couldn’t be a one woman man. There was no reason to pretend. You just got your feelings hurt girl! You started to believe that he could be more than just a booty call. That you could love a man that didn’t love you. You fell for it.

You would pull yourself away from the man who you knew could never love you and go running back each time you felt an ache between your thighs. For what? The same old same old. See, this man is a player. Nothing wrong with it. You just have to know that you’re nothing more than a chess piece and get the hell up from the board.

You need to understand your worth. You need to value yourself more than you do the piece of meat between his legs. You need to stop wasting your time. You see what I’m saying? It’s not him love, it’s you. You are allowing this man whose time has expired to occupy space in your life and in your bed and then trying to convince the rest of us that you are just f*ck buddies.

Naw, boo. You’re playing yourself. Buddies implies that he has respect for you. He doesn’t. He calls you out your name. He makes you feel inferior and puts you in situations that you claim you didn’t enjoy. You begin to change and adapt to his whim knowing deep down inside he doesn’t give a damn about you.

But, you insist on trying to make the world believe that you are in control of the situation. You’re not. You’re in denial. You see the disrespect. You see the writing on the wall and yet you continue to engage. The d*ck is bomb is what you say.

Whatever sis! While you’re dipping and riding all over his joy stick you’re killing yourself slowly. Both physically and mentally with a man that could give a rat’s a*s what you think. He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t value you. He doesn’t comfort you.

Why should he? You’ve made it too easy for him not to care. It’s not his fault. You allow the continued disrespect. You like it. You see no value in you only what you think you can offer him.

No amount of sex will keep a man. You could be an Olympic gold medalist in the bedroom, but if a man doesn’t respect you, he won’t be kept. So, stop letting the d*ck confuse and abuse you and look in the mirror and love yourself.

Love yourself more than you’ve ever loved yourself and untangle your soul from the foolishness of this pseudo relationship. You will find yourself happier and healthier. Be honest with what you want and who you want and know that you deserve more.

 

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Things I Let Go

Posted on by Tikeetha T

In 2017,  I realized that I wasn’t going to carry other people’s baggage anymore. I’m living proof that you have to go through things in order to get to your happiness. I’m in a happy place. But, I don’t take it for granted.

What I used to do was carry the baggage of others. I would allow them to dump their problems/issues on me and then try to make them feel better. Umm, not going to happen in 2017.

What I realized is that I can’t carry someone else’s baggage. As my girlfriend said “You don’t work for the airlines boo. Tell them to carry their own bags.” No truer words.

I’ve spent much of my life trying to people please. I tend to excuse the negative behaviors of those I love because they may be going through something. Not anymore.

I don’t have the time nor the energy to be anyone’s clean-up woman. I have a wonderful life with a beautiful son and a great man. I have many activities and projects that I’m working on. I don’t have time for the unresolved drama of others.

I know it may seem harsh. But, I can’t. I won’t. And neither should you.

I understand that the world has many people with issues, but I’m in therapy and working on mine. I can’t be around people who are not doing the same. I’m trying  to be better for myself, for my son and for my man. I can’t deal with those that are practicing avoidance.

Life is too short. Let go and get help.

 

Sound

Posted on by Tikeetha T

Excerpt from my story Jacob’s Girl:

The last image I have of my family together occurred when I was nine years old. My mom had just walked in the house from a long day of work.  She was tired and you could see it in her face.  My dad had been drinking.  My ten month old brother and I were playing in the living room.  The sound of the television playing in the background as I made my brother laugh.

My mom came in and sat down on the couch. My dad had a frightening look in his eyes. The next sound I heard was his fist hit her across her face. I screamed. My baby brother fell and started to cry. My mom started fighting back and screaming at me to get my brother! Get the baby and go in your room! I did. I picked up the baby and ran into my bedroom.

My six year old sister was crying and I being the oldest tried to comfort them both. I heard the sound of glass breaking. Blood curdling screams. Cursing and crying. Fists punching, the sounds of pain being inflicted in the name of love. This is what it was right? This was love.

©Tikeetha Thomas

This post is in response to the Daily Post. The word today was sound.

The Shiftless Man

Posted on by Tikeetha T

I decided that I needed to speak to the ladies today. I wanted to share some wisdom, advice or have girl talk about men. One type of man in particular.

One thing that I’ve realized in the many relationships that I’ve had or discussed with my girlfriends is that there is a population of men that like to call you victims. These men – for lack of a better word we’ll call them The Shiftless Man will do everything in his power to convince a woman that she is trying to be a victim when he is being a bully.

Beware of The Shiftless Man. He is a modern day con artist. He will do everything in his power to shift the blame to you. His traits and characteristics are noticeable, but his actions may seem to fool an untrained eye. So, let me give you some things you should look for if you are in a relationship with The Shiftless Man.

  • The Shiftless Man will cheat on you and have you believing that it is your fault that he cheated on you. He will tell you that it was because you didn’t cook for him, wash his clothes, pay his child support and/or slob his knob on a regular and consistent basis as the reason that he chose to step outside of your relationship. It’s your fault that he couldn’t be faithful. You will undoubtedly be angered, hot and beyond pissed and then the tears will fall. You can’t believe the audacity of this man that you know that you want to punch him in his throat, slash his tires or paper the city with his photo of being a cheat that you can’t help but cry. He in his self-centered mind will tell you that you’re trying to play the victim in this situation. Really? Girl, get out now before he gives you an STD or something that you can’t get rid of.
  • The Shiftless Man will be verbally abusive. He can’t help it. It’s part of his make-up. You deal with it. You love him. You believe that you can change him. You want the relationship to work. You want your family so you take it. You take it over and over again. Your love diminishes as your hatred grows. You are boiling with anger and pain and wondering how the hell did you end up here. You did everything right, but why are you allowing this man to be verbally abusive to you? He calls you names: fat, b*tch, hoe, slut, dumb as*, etc and you just cry. However, he mistakes those tears for sympathy in hopes that you’ll do better. He’s the dumb a*s because everyone knows that those tears are tears of pain and time wasted. You wonder why do you put up with this and he tells you to stop being the victim. Girl please! You are not the victim. You are just trying not to be the perpetrator of the crime and kill him. Oh, but he’s too busy blowing smoke up his own butt that he can’t see your love switching to anger. Get out now! No man is worth a murder rap.
  • The Shiftless Man will play mind games. It’s part of his make-up. He wants you to believe that he is smarter than you. He will try to manipulate and control you in all situations and have you believing that his a*s is the King of a foreign country. You’ll play along. Why? Because you fell in love with a very nice man. You think that the man that you fell in love with will return. I mean how could he be so mean to you? You work full-time, keep in shape, take care of the house, pleasure him regularly and still manage to play nice with his trifling friends and family. But, he won’t change. You’ll demand respect and he’ll laugh in your face. You’ll demand honesty and he will walk right past you. You will get so mad that your tears will start to flow. He’ll look at you and through you and say “Stop playing the victim. You’re always the victim.” Girl, get out now. Convince him that you are going to have a sex change because he is not man enough for you. Get on with your life and stop letting him hold you down or hold you back.

If you are a woman in a relationship with The Shiftless Man, I need you to get out now! You have to focus on your mental health and this man will tear you down. Don’t believe what he says. You are not a victim! You are beautiful. You are intelligent and more importantly…you deserve better.

Stand up and shed the dead weight of The Shiftless Man and realize that you are a survivor. You survived the insults. You survived the constant cheating on you. You survived the mental abuse. You survived the verbal abuse. You survived. That is your testimony. Plain and simple love.

Be you. Be happy. Be encouraged.

Day 5: Seven Days of Thankfulness

Posted on by Tikeetha T

I’m thankful for discernment.

111616

I haven’t always been able to judge well. I’ve trusted people that I shouldn’t have. I’ve allowed people in my life who shouldn’t have been there. I was young. I was naive. I didn’t know how to discern what it was that God wanted me to do.

But, I tell you that something happened when I turned 40. I trusted in the Master’s Plan for my life. I started to follow my inner voice and be able to discern what was His will and what was my will.

I began to grow. I began to watch my life manifest right before my eyes. Things started happening and chains started being broken. People started to leave. I began to feel alone. I cried out for God to help me and He sent people in my life that showed up and showed out. He shook my foundation and allowed some roots to stay planted where they were.

He was moving me in a different direction.

When I realized that it was God and that He was cleansing me from those who weren’t allowed to go to the next level with me I started to feel the power of His presence. Sense that He was ordering my steps. I bridled my tongue and endured some foolishness because I heard him clearly say that my destiny has been determined and you can’t afford to lose your way.

See, He knows what he is doing in my life and that there are folks in my life that are trying to distract me. My destiny is too important to give up for anything. Whew! I tell you that when I realized that it was He who was moving me in another direction, I adjusted the sails and set course for better days.

Discernment. I’m so thankful for that gift. I’m able to realize what is worth it and what isn’t. I won’t go back.