Reblog: Did He Just Ghost Me?

This is a reblog of a prior post that I wrote prior to finding Mr. C. In this dating series, I’m trying to share with you some of my experiences to encourage you to not give up hope. I’ve been there….

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Okay, so many of you know by now what ghosting is. If you don’t, please check out this definition on Urban Dictionary:

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.

Well, I was wondering if Mr. A ghosted me. Let me tell you what happened. Mr. A and I had been talking for the last couple of months. Met a couple of times over coffee and just settled into a nice and friendly let’s get to know each other situation. Well, Mr. A just suddenly and out of nowhere stopped calling and texting me. I called a couple of times. Sent a couple of texts (okay 1) and got no response. Two weeks went by and I just suddenly walked away from the situation and deleted his contact information from the phone.fus_amsf_monitor_ghosting_tinder_center

I mentioned to my girlfriend how he just up and disappeared without no rhyme or reason and I was kind of shocked. I mean I thought we had great communication and the chemistry was cool so why would he just vanish on me? Not one to chase a man without knowing him, I backed off and kept it moving. Dating other men who seemed more emotionally stable.

Then I read this article talking about ghosting and realized that Mr. A probably ghosted me. Why? No idea. I was kind of bummed. More like pissed with a side of I want to set your pants on fire, but I got over it. I just exhaled, put my Left-eye ego in check and realized that it wasn’t me it was him. He was missing out on this fine, thick chocolate sister who is awesome. His loss!

So, I’m sitting at home on a Saturday afternoon, exhausted from the heat (munch had a soccer game earlier that day) when I get a text from Mr. A out of the blue. Now, I had no idea who it was texting me and acting like I know them but the funny thing about deleting someone the text history re-appears and you know who it is. Here’s a screen shot of the conversation:

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As you can see by my exchange, I’m kind of hot that he would be trying to rewind on me after ghosting with no explanation. Oh, I’m sorry, his explanation was that he was “very busy”. Heck, you are not that busy where by you can’t send a text that says “Got your messages. I’m really busy. Will touch base with  you soon”. But, he’s a man right? No real need to communicate with me woman after ghosting.

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So, after my “Oh okay. Well nice hearing from you” text response he actually picked up the phone to call. He wasn’t sorry about ghosting. He kept reiterating how busy he was and it wasn’t personal and he wasn’t ghosting me and trying to rewind. He then had the nerve to say that I could have called again. Really? I politely told Mr. A “Do it again and don’t bother calling me. You’re almost 48 and you know what is acceptable behavior. If not, I will show you”.

He’s asked me out next week when Munch goes back to visit his dad. Apparently he likes my smart and sassy mouth. Too bad I’m washing my hair.

Until next time loves!

Reblog: Visualize Love

This is a reblog of a prior post and I wanted to share it with you. What’s interesting is that Mr. C and I met at the end of 2015 and I have the kind of love that I visualized. You can too. Just believe…

You know what? I want to love and be in love. That was my birthday wish for 2015. It’s only two months into the new year, but it’s February and this month is about love (at least until the 14th, LOL) and I wanted to make sure that I verbalized and visualized my wish. Yep, visualized. Love hasn’t happened so I started thinking about creating a vision board for love. But, before that I needed to be specific about the kind of love I wanted. So, here goes…

I want the kind of love that leaves no doubt. You know that kind of love where he walks in the door and sees me and his face lights up because being home with me is better than being out in the world. Why? Because I provide refuge from his journey fighting all the evil forces outside of our home. The kind of good loving where we calm each other’s weary spirit just by being in the same vicinity. Where we accept that we are not perfect, but we vow that we will never demean or belittle each other. Where we won’t call each other out our names in anger and where we will always make up before we go to bed because we know that by staying angry and sleeping with it we are inviting trouble into our home and we are not having that.

I want the kind of love where my son will feel the strength of this man’s spirit and know that his mommy is in good hands because THIS MAN loves his mommy almost as much as he does and that makes him feel safe. I want the kind of love that a strong man won’t ever deny and he would tell a woman in his office or a man on the streets that no one is better for him than me. Why? Because I am the missing puzzle he’s searched his whole life to find and he knows that we just fit.

I want the kind of love where disappointments are just that. They are not preludes to bigger blow-ups or causes for domestic violence. I want a strong and healthy man who can talk and communicate his feelings to me both good and bad and know that I will always listen. Why? Because he talks to me as an equal partner and not as a last resort. I am the first person he finds when his world seems out of balance because like I said before we calm each other’s weary spirit.

I want the kind of love that will leave me breathless when I talk about the man that God has sent my way. The man who makes me smile just because he opened his eyes. The man who knows that I love him more than I could ever say and that each time I cook for him, it is because I want to and not because he expects me too.

I want the kind of love that doesn’t hurt. You know the kind of love that they talk about in the Bible.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NKJV)

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I want that old fashioned love that Frankie Beverly and Luther Vandross sang about. I want the kind of love where we know each other’s love language and we make sure that we are listening and embracing the language. I want that good ole love that won’t ever fail. That’s what kind of love I’m visualizing in 2015. But, until it comes, I will continue to love, honor and respect myself. I will strive each day to be the best person I can be until the day that God sends that verbalized and visualized kind of love my way.

LOVE_sculpture_NY

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Him

A great post to let you know what I was thinking about Mr. C in the early stages of us dating. It was new. He was nice. But, looks aren’t always what they appear to be. Check this post out… Source: Him

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Reblog: He’ll Do In Case of Emergencies

A reblog of my post in 2014. I still believe it.

He’ll do in case of emergencies. That was one of the most poignant lessons learned from my mommy. It was a statement simple and powerful as I was growing up and entering the dating world. The first time I heard that statement, I had met a wonderful young man who was smart, considerate, gorgeous and talented and I asked, “Mommy, isn’t he perfect?” Her response was “He’ll do in case of emergencies”. What? Hold up. Rewind. What does that mean?

It meant men are disposable, interchangeable and you should always have a back-up. Not quite sure what I was expecting at 16, maybe a little more, “Yep, baby. I can see why you like him.” But, that was not my mother’s nature. Her desire was to give it to you straight with no chaser. Did it make me pause and think maybe “the one” was a myth because every man would do in case of emergencies? Yes, Absolutely!

I read this article on the Washington Post and it kinda confirmed that not just women are doing it, but men too. It stated that “Men have back-burners at roughly twice the rate of women”. Wow! So, in this digital age, women aren’t alone. Men have been using technology to keep in touch or hook up with exes or women that they’ve flirted with in the past. Social media has made it easier for folks to hook up and have romantic affairs with people outside of their current mate.

Researchers are calling it “digital cheating or cyber infidelity”. Umm, can anyone say that they are surprised by it? Probably not, but what surprised me was the fact that it is now easier to get it on with someone from your past or a co-worker without ever raising suspicion. Facebook has broken up many a “happy home” because people can’t seem to let go of the past. How many times have you caught your significant other texting or emailing someone from their past with questionable responses? Hmm, not wanting to admit it huh? What about your girlfriend’s sister’s cousin’s brother who was cheating on his wife of 10 years with his old college girlfriend? Why did he do it? Convenience perhaps? Opportunity to water the grass on the other side? Perhaps.

But, the one thing for sure is that technology has made it easier to get your “freak on” with folks without ever having to leave your zip code. You don’t have to do much. Think about it…Two people fed up with their current partners arguing or fussing that they comfort each other. That comfort leads to something more, but they’re not going to leave their “boo thing” for you. It was just time and opportunity. You console each other and confide how unfair your partners demands are. However, you never want to leave your number one for your number two on the back burner. Why? Because you trust number one. I bet you know some men like that right now.

However, it’s not just men though, because last week The Huffington Postreported that “Uh-Oh, Survey Says Half of Married Women Have a Back-up Husband in Mind”. Really? I didn’t know it was that many. I mean I thought 20%, but more than half? Who are these Plan B men? Men from their past: old boyfriends, men who they’ve flirted with or colleagues. Okay, I get the past boyfriends, but casual acquaintances a relationship don’t make. However, it does support my mom’s theory that women should have a back-up. Maybe their mothers told them the same thing.

But, I have to wonder…in the dating world where people are making more connections on line and through various social media platforms, does that mean you are going to have less of an opportunity for survival in a healthy functioning relationship because you have alternatives in your friend list, circle or network? Will more people just hook up instead of commit because we’re too lazy to work at something? How many of us have pressed rewind on a relationship from the past and found out that it was true love? Sometimes it’s the thought of knowing someone so well that you don’t have to spend time learning someone new.

Where is the fun in that? Maybe people should spend more time protecting something special instead of settling for the he/she person that will do in case of emergencies. Limit your choices. Eliminate your alternatives and build with the possibility of “the one” something incredible. It would probably be fewer divorces. IMJS.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

#MyFirstPostRevisited

Hi everyone! Lisa from Life of an El Paso Woman tagged me to participate in the My Very First Post challenge. The challenge was started by blogger Sarah Brentyn.

Here are the rules for this challenge below:

  • No cheating. (It must be your first post. Not your second post, not one you love…first post only.)
  • Link back to the person who tagged you (thank them if you feel like it or, if not, curse them with a plague of ladybugs).

Other rules:

  • Cut and paste your old post into a new post or reblog your own bad self. (Either way is fine but NO editing.)
  • Put the hashtag #MyFirstPostRevisited in your title.
  • Tag…um…five (5) other bloggers to take up this challenge.
  • Notify your tags in the comment section of their blog (don’t just hope they notice a pingback somewhere in their spam).
  • Feel free to cut and paste the badge to use in your post.
  • Include “the rules” in your post.

My first blog post is titled “MLK Weekend”. In it I tell you why I started blogging 9 years ago. I took many breaks from blogging. A few years in fact until 2013 when I made an effort to be more consistent. This post was made January 22, 2008. I was pregnant and I was married to my ex-husband. Check it out here:

Today is my first day back at work after observing MLK’s birthday yesterday. It was a low key day. I mostly slept and then went grocery shopping. We don’t sale shop during his birthday out of respect for one of the greatest men that ever lived. We remembered and talked politics. Mostly the economy, the baby and the upcoming move. I realize now that I am pregnant, anything pops into my head and I want to discuss it. I can’t seem to retain information for long periods of time either.

Rewind…
My name is Tikeetha and I have been married for about 5 1/2 years to Lydell “aka” Lee Thomas. Thus, after much force I took his last name. Actually, it wasn’t bad, Lee stated that he wanted his last name on my name somewhere. He didn’t care if I hyphenated or changed my last name entirely. He wanted everyone to know that I was a married woman. It was crazy because he acted like you couldn’t see the big ring on my finger. So, after 5 1/2 years of marriage, Lee and I find ourselves being able to reproduce. We are still astonished that God has granted us this ability. We just found out that we are expecting a boy this May. I knew I was having a son; however, Lee was in denial. He insisted that we were having a girl, because genetically, every female in my family up through my grandmother had given birth to a girl. That was a lie, but I let him believe it. Even when my grandma did her famous “hand test” to determine I was having a boy, he was still in denial. He harassed her and wanted statistical information to the fact that she had predicated sexes of babies in our family for years. He wanted her to admit that she has been wrong and to indicate that her test doesn’t have a 100% accuracy rate. I couldn’t believe it. So, when I happily found out that we were having a boy, I called Granny to let her know. She was tickled pink. She said, “I knew it was a boy, I just didn’t want to hurt Lee’s feelings”.

Fast Forward to 3 days ago…
Lee and I had dinner with some friends. I love this time because I enjoy telling his friends the harassing and embarrassing things he tells me so that they can laugh at him. So, over dinner I begin to tell them how my husband comes to me a few days earlier to indicate that he thinks he has Lou Gehrig’s aka “ALS” disease. After laughing in hysteria for almost 10 minutes, I asked him what makes you think you have Lou Gehrig’s disease? He said, “I was researching on the web and I think I have the symptoms”. Now, here is an excerpt from an article off of WebMD that indicates what ALS is:

“Over a period of months or years, ALS causes increasing muscle weakness, inability to control movement, and problems with speaking, swallowing, and breathing. The first sign of ALS is usually slight weakness in one leg, one hand, the face, or the tongue. Other problems may include increasing clumsiness and difficulty performing tasks that require precise movements of the fingers and hands. Frequent muscle twitching may occur. The weakness slowly spreads to the arms and legs over a period of months or years. As the nerves continue to waste away and decrease in number, the muscle cells that would normally be stimulated by those nerves also start to waste away, and the muscles weaken.

It is important to remember that having muscle weakness, fatigue, stiffness, and twitching doesn’t necessarily mean that you have ALS.”

I asked Lee, how long have you been feeling this way, “about a week”. I said “Ok, you are now over 30, overweight and have no desire to workout, so could it just be that you are experiencing a fatigue with your weight?” He said “maybe”. So over dinner, I bring up the Lou Gehrig’s disease and everyone is laughing at him like he has two heads. Once the laughter dies down, the question again is asked why do you think you have Lou Gehrig’s disease. He answers, “When you are having a child, you start to think about your immortality and the pains in your body. You won’t think it’s funny if it comes back that I have it.” My husband is impossible. Please pray for me as I continue to document my path from “A Thomas Point of View.

Summary Note:  What’s weird is that he was feeling these problems and had self-diagnosed his own medical condition and we didn’t take it seriously. Fast forward to August of that year and he had multiple strokes and was diagnosed with a disease that causes his blood to thicken and create clots and lupus. He knew something was wrong with his body, but his doctor didn’t run tests to determine if something is wrong.

Please feel free to participate. Of course, there is no obligation! However, this is a great way to catch up any new followers to your blog and what made you start blogging, so I hope you’ll join in.  I nominate the following bloggers to participate:

KC Wise at Black.Bunched.Mass.Mom

Terry at Spearfruit

Michelle Malone at Two Are Better Than One

KE Garland at KE Garland

Ameena at Randoms By a Random

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Man Up!

A great read about a man’s responsibility in life. This is a new blogger, Josiah Harry, that I just discovered and I am hooked. Check out his blog Skylarity!

A well-rounded man is an artist, warrior, and philosopher. -Benvenuto Cellini

Source: Man Up!

 

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.