Published on December 2014
Christmas is a special time
To give, to serve, to love
It isn’t just about yourself,
But others that you think of
The presents, the trees, the glowing lights
Are fun but have no part
In what the real meaning of Christmas is…
That is in your heart
Even if other people don’t,
You should try to do
The things that you would want
Them to do to you!
The holidays are a busy time
But they are sometimes good
Because they keep you thinking
About others like you should
So this year, try to not think about yourself
But think of the things you can do
To help others have a wonderful Christmas
And you will find that you will be happy too
Wishing you the Merriest Christmas!
This year has been amazing. More than I could have imagined. It’s Christmas Eve and I’m at Christ House again serving meals with some of my girlfriends. It is amazing that as we prepare to feast on the festivities this weekend that we are mindful of those that have no food or have no home.
There will be no tree to put gifts under. No turkey sitting on the table. No friends and family to bring egg nog and wish them good will. But, I will do my best.
I will serve gladly and make sure that they are wished the Merriest of Christmas. I will smile and listen to their stories. I will encourage their spirits. I will feed them a hot meal. It’s almost a new year – 2017 is around the corner and things can and will change for the better.
Can you believe that the holidays are around the corner? I remember this time last year praying that 2016 be better than 2015 and now we’re almost in 2017. Could it be better? Nope. I am truly blessed. I have so many blessings to be thankful for and I’m just looking forward to the holidays. I love Christmas.
Not for the gifts, but for the reason…Jesus is the reason for the season. I make sure to donate to multiple charities, give unwrapped gifts and participate in holiday sharing. Giving back is essential when you’ve been blessed. I’m setting up the tree, scheduling photos with Santa and planning photos in front of the National Christmas Tree with me, my man and my son. I’m really in the holiday spirit.
Since I am a difficult person to shop for and I don’t like surprises. I know, I know. Blame it on the Capricorn in me, I thought it would be great to give him a list of Christmas wishes. He could choose one, all or nothing and I would be just as happy. However, he’s a man and he may need a hint.
So, here’s my Christmas Wish List:
Amazon Echo Dot – $49.99
Harry Potter 8 Disc Set on Blu-ray – $54.96
Ugg Rain Boots – $64.95
Ashley Stewart Sweater – $49.50
Fitbit Alta (X-Large) – $84.96
Pajamas from Lane Bryant – $59.95
It’s a new month. The last month of 2016. What did you accomplish? What do you still need to accomplish? It’s not too late.
Let’s enjoy the last days of 2016 and get ready to celebrate the fact that we made it. So many didn’t make it this year and we’re going to celebrate each and every 31 days of December with gratitude.
As you’re gearing up for the holidays with trees, shopping and cooking remember that you are blessed. You are loved. You are appreciated. Now, if we can keep the snow to a minimum, I will be ecstatic.
What I received this year…
A profound sense of determination– One of the hardest things for me was a desire to people please and take stuff from people. Not intentionally but just letting the slick stuff slide. The comments from people who were meant to destroy me or break me down hurt like hell. I always took the high road. You know the road where you don’t give in to the foolishness of other folks and don’t engage? But, that left me both mentally and emotionally drained.
I felt overwhelmed by the viciousness and the hate that was being spewed that it literally consumed my spirit. I am a woman of faith and it is hard to keep your faith when you are being attacked by people. I kept praying and trying to be the bigger person, but what happens when you can’t? When you can’t hold in the frustration and the anger that is consuming you. What do you do?
You explode. You lose it. You cry, curse, shout or do whatever to get through the pain and then you figure out a plan. Not the plan on how to kill and get away with murder of your enemies but the plan on how you will not let the naysayers affect your spirit or life with the bull. You become determined to build a wall that they can’t knock down, tear down or blow up with their wickedness. Then you build that wall up and you cover it with purpose and praise because you are determined to not be dragged in the pits of hell where your haters live. You pray. You become determined to take the road of righteousness and surround yourself with prayer partners who keep your name lifted up. That’s what you do because you are determined to live each day better than the last.
So, to recap the 12 gifts that I received this year were:
11. Renewed Faith
6. Forgiving Spirit
5. Healthier Waist Size
3. Introspective Spirit
2. Powerful Praise
….#1. A Profound Sense of Determination
What I received this year…
An introspective spirit – This was a recent gift that I was given just last week. I’ve had some things that have hit me when I was least expecting it and I’ve been so self-absorbed in the issue that I just felt alone, abused and resentful that this was happening to me. I was absorbed in the issue and letting it drag me down and weigh down my attitude and spirit. But, I received the ability to reflect on the issue and realize that I need to stop obsessing and use it as a teachable moment.
Here’s what happened: On Sunday, December 13th the police knocked on my door asking do I own a blue Nissan Maxima. “Yes,” I replied. “Can you please come outside” he asked. When I got outside he told me that my new neighbor backed into my car with a U-Haul and flagged him down to find me so that he could report the accident. I was floored. I fell on the ground crying out some not so nice things and screaming what were you doing? How am I going to get my son back and forth to school?
This situation absorbed my thoughts, interrupted my sleep and had me beat down. I hated when people said “It’s only material”. What the heck does that mean? It’s my material and you’re not offering to fix anything, tow my vehicle or get me a rental. Nope. This man stalled, didn’t do anything and I was paying out of my pocket for a rental car, still paying a car note and insurance on a car that was inoperable and needed to be towed. I was in angst.
Wednesday, December 16th I was driving home with my Munch and I told him that I owed him an apology. He asked me for what. I told him that I always tell him that he has to have an attitude of gratitude and that I haven’t been very gratuitous lately because I’ve been worried about our car. I told him that I know that the same God that got me that car would get me another and that I needed to praise HIM during the times of plenty and the times of few because our God never fails. I told him that I needed to remind myself of that because I was leading by example and not by words. He said “it’s okay.”
So, the introspective spirit was a gift that I received. It has allowed me to reflect and know when I’m being spoiled. For that I’m truly thankful.
What I received this year…
Vulnerability – I’ve always despised letting people in my heart. Whether friends, family or men that I’m in relationships with it sucks when someone hurts you so I’ve been unable to be vulnerable with people. I viewed vulnerability as a sign of weakness and I didn’t want to show anyone that I was weak. So, I never asked for help. Let people know that I was hurting or just that I needed them. It was easy to control the relationship if I didn’t give them a chance to hurt or disappoint me.
What I learned is that disappoint is a part of life and that you need people. It’s true. We are all interconnected and we need people to love us and support us. We have to start letting some of those dang walls down and burning some of those bridges. No one wants to be hurt but you can’t think like that. You have to know that you are meant to be loved and people want to love you if you just let them.
Sigh, I know it’s hard. I’ve been there. I am going through a situation and I burst out crying to a male friend of mine. I apologized for my outburst and said, “I’m sorry that I’m crying. It seems when I talk to you I start crying about all the frustrations that I have.” He responded, “It’s okay. I like that you can be vulnerable with me.” I was stunned. I wasn’t being vulnerable. Was I?
Yes, I was. And you know what? It’s okay. Sometimes we need to let people know that we are hurting and that we need their advice, love and just support to get through difficult times. I don’t always have to be strong. I want to be loved too.
Life is meant to be shared with the people that love us and trust me, we all have someone that loves us. You don’t think so? Well know that I love you. Why? Because you were intimately created by the one who loves me with all my faults and all. I received the gift of vulnerability.