Motivational Monday Moment – 3/20/2017

It’s the first day of spring. I’m late getting my post out. I needed to be motivated this morning so I’ve struggled with what to write. Please forgive me for the delay. I started thinking about what I could tell you to motivate you this morning. I had nothing.

I didn’t feel motivated. I felt tired and exhausted of having to fight the same battle over and over again. I felt as though my back was up against the wall. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I just knew that I wanted peace.

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There are some difficult situations that I have to face in the coming weeks. I will share more as I know more, but I was really feeling overwhelmed. I told Mr. C that I needed him to encourage me this morning. To make me feel better.

He said “You have a job. You have money. You woke up this morning. Your son is healthy. You have a boss that is understanding.” Okay, I get it. Not enough. But, poignant and true. I wasn’t giving thanks. I was feeling the pain of my issue and not giving the praise.

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I talked to another friend about my situation and he told me that God told him that “It’s a blessing to be tested and tried by Him. “ He told me to not dismay and know that God is blessing me regardless of whatever I’m going through. He told me to be encouraged and know that we serve a mighty God.

I know.

I’m human.

I just want peace.

Every time I feel like I get a little peace and quiet, things come along to disturb the natural order of the way I believe my life should work. The peace that I thought I had is always short lived. Things disturb this natural order and I feel overwhelmed. I’m struggling ya’ll.

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I know that what Mr. C said and what my friend said made sense. I’m a Christian and sometimes I feel like I’m failing. I’m failing at trying to keep chaos from interfering in my life. I didn’t ask for this. I just want to ride out the peace for years to come.

I know that I’m not living in reality right now. What’s wrong with wanting peace? Nothing. 51ef3e3fc97a88c221e264f8e788cbf0

But, God.

God spoke to me through music to ease my weary soul. He often speaks to me through music when I’m going through something and I ask for His help. When I pray for peace and I can’t seem to hear it through the noise of me wanting to take control of my own life and do what I want. He did it today.

I was listening to Marsha Ambrosious on Pandora and he played Mary Mary’s gospel song “Yesterday”. I had to close my office door because tears began to roll down my face as they sang “Any problems that I had he’s greater, he’s greater than them all. I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday.” – Mary Mary. God was speaking to me. I was doing too much.

I hear you God. I can’t keep crying about the situation. I gave it to you. I need to trust you to do your will. I need to lean on you and know that you are greater than any problems that I have. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to trust. Trust God. Trust Him with everything.

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We can’t keep crying over the same situation and the same problems. We need to give our all to God. He is the way maker and we know that all things work according to His will. I trust you God. No more tears. Thy will be done.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Happy Spring

Today is the first day of Spring! We’ve changed seasons and now it’s time to spring clean: our medicine cabinets, our pantries, our homes, etc. What are you getting rid of this Spring?

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Instinct

My instinct told me that he wasn’t the one for me.

I ignored it.

I was in that place of blissful ignorance and called it love.

Why was I ignoring my instinct?

My instinct told me that he was a liar and an abuser.

I ignored it.

Even after that first punch, my heart protected him.

My instinct told me to run.

The continued physical and emotional abuse had left me broken.

An empty shell.

I was dying inside.

My instinct kept telling me that one day he would kill me.

I ignored it.

Death was better than this.

I loved him.

I just had to be better.

I had to be more of what he wanted.

I had to change.

I woke up this morning and my instinct told me that today was the last day I would be alive.

I ignored it.

I laid next to him.

Watching him sleep silently.

He was beautiful.

I reached under my pillow and grabbed the blade.

I stabbed the hell out of him.

He lay choking in his own blood.

My instinct was wrong.

Today was the day he took his last breath.

 

Today’s post is inspired by the Daily Post. The word was instinct.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Dating Diary: Treat Em Right

I am always looking for new ways to work on my relationship with Mr. C and just trying to be a good girlfriend. I’ve never been a girlfriend for long and I wasn’t concerned about my exes feelings and we were young  that it didn’t matter. As, I’m now over 40 and constantly learning myself, I’ve learned to focus on communication with Mr. C as a means to strengthen our relationship.

Why? Because I love him. And? I love him more than being vulnerable. I actually hate being vulnerable. I said it. I feel like it opens me up and you can see what I’m really feeling. I hate showing my feelings. Ugh!

But, I do with Mr. C. Even when I try not to, he knows me well enough to tell when something is wrong. He pays attention to me. Especially to my tone. It’s a good and bad thing at times.

That being said I understand the importance of making sure that I’m meeting his needs. I don’t ask all the time, but I think it’s important to find out if there are things that he desires of me that I’m just not paying attention too. Blame it on my short attention span, but he deserves to know that I’m invested and concerned about him as a man, as a father, as a son and as a human being. I’m paying attention.

So, I asked him three questions to do a relationship check-up and find out how I’m doing and give myself a tune-up if need be so that we can be on one accord. My 3 questions were as follows:

  1. What things could I do to strengthen our communication?
  2. Do you think I’m open to your ideas and/or suggestions?
  3. Do you believe that I value and respect our time together? Do I put you first?

His responses were:

  1. When we make plans/meeting each other lets make sure we communicate that we are on the same pages, from beginning to end.
  2. I believe you are but sometimes my ideas are shot down.  i.e.  meeting for breakfast…its not about us eating just sitting and talking..connecting before you go to work.
  3. You do except for when you get that social media buzz.  but it doesn’t bother me because I get it…I completely understand when there’s a need to check our devices.

Yeah, he responded! However, I’m not surprised. He’s a great guy who is open to me reaching out and soliciting input at any moment. That being said it looks like I have work to do. I agree with #1 and I realized that I do #2 and #3 so I have to check myself and make sure that I’m being present in the moment and not shooting down my man’s ideas. I can be a negative Nancy and I need to work on that. Also, I need to make sure that he has my undivided attention and turn my head away from my phone.

Now, Mr. C wanted me to answer the same questions about him. Here’s how I responded:

  1. You could confirm date/time and locations anytime we are meeting. Make sure that we are on the same page from beginning to end. You could also talk to me more. Let me know more of what you think about things that I say or do.
  2. I don’t understand when I mention something that you don’t really give a yes or no response right at that moment. I feel like I’m being blown off in some ways so then I don’t want to suggest things. I know it’s not true, but I need you to either 1. answer immediately or 2. write it down and follow-up with me timely. By not following up it makes me feel like you don’t care about it.
  3. Yes, I believe that you value our time together and yes I believe that you try to put me first.

Yep, time for us to get to work!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Parenting Rights

One of the things that I refuse to apologize for is how I choose to raise my son. I don’t think anyone starts off trying to be a bad parent (okay, most people don’t). However, for the sake of this argument we will say that many of you are good working people that love your children and you’re trying to do the best that you can in order to raise them to become independent and productive citizens. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely.

No one is perfect. We try things with our children. Some things work. Others need to be modified and some just don’t work. That’s why it requires us to keep working at it. To keep parenting. However, your fundamental right as a parent is that you can choose how to raise your children however you want.

Here are some things that people may question you on:

  • TV/Computer time – Researchers say you should limit the amount of screen time. I think it’s something like 30 minutes a day. Umm, I don’t subscribe to that philosophy. Munch gets about 30 minutes in the morning while he’s eating breakfast to watch his Ipad. He gets additional time after we finish homework and dinner. It is probably an 1.5 hours. So, he gets about 1.5 to 2 hours a day during the week. He watches cartoons only so I’m not concerned about the screen time. We read during homework time each day so he’s not behind. In fact they told us that Munch reads above grade level. Not surprised. His dad and I did so it’s not a big deal. He likes the Ipad, but if he acts up, it is taken away along with television and he truly misses it. No time out or no spanking. We take away what he loves most. Note: Find what works for you.
  • Multiple activities – When he was younger, I put him in activities that I thought he would enjoy. He was a toddler. He didn’t know what he would like. As he grew older, he decided that he hated Tae Kwan Do and didn’t want to do it anymore. So, we stopped. Munch made the decision that the only activities that he would like to do are: swim lessons, guitar lessons and soccer in the Spring. No fall soccer. We let him decide and we tend to stick to the schedule he wants. So, nope I’m not over-scheduling my son. Note:  Let your children lead you with this one.
  • Sleep time – The recommended amount of sleep time for Munch is 10-11 hours. Can I tell you that he never slept that long unless he’s sick and on sleep medication or truly exhausted? That has been a total of 4 times in his 8 years on this Earth. Because I get him home from school around 6:15 pm, he’s eating dinner between 6:45 and 7:00 pm. We then do homework from 7:30 pm to 8:30 – 8:45 pm. We do bath and play time before shutting it down. Munch will get one hour where he’ll watch his TV and sit and draw characters from his Ipad. Lights out at 10pm. He sleeps until 6:45 am. He sleeps between 8 and 9 hours. It depends on him. Note:  As long as he’s not falling asleep in class, he’ll be fine.

My point is this…you do the best that you can. You find what works for your children and you adjust as necessary. Don’t stress yourself that you’re not following the expert’s recommendations. As long as your children are happy, healthy and thriving and you’re doing your best focus on that. Allow your children to lead you into their interests. We’ve got this parenting thing!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.