I told him that I had abandonment issues. That I was flawed. That I feared that a man that really loved me would abandon me. My dad did.
I felt like he did too.
Alone is where he left me to mourn. A light that had become dark slowly faded away from my heart. In that moment…I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t find the words to describe the pain but a knife repeatedly stabbing my heart could come close.
I got up and fell to the floor. The pain was unbearable. I laid there and cried. Tears of anguish. Tears of broken hopes, promises and friendship.
I was alone again.
I sobbed uncontrollably.
On the floor, in a heap, where I lay for an hour I nursed the pain you caused. I dried my tears and prayed for peace. I washed away my pain with alcohol hoping to numb the scars that were bleeding through.
I searched for relief through the hazy smoke. None came. The sun slowly set signaling the end of another day. Another loss.
Two down. Only me.
Time to stand on my feet.