2017 advice america black boys depression faith parenting racism relationships

Where Am I?

Where Am I? I don’t know. It’s a simple question. But, I struggle to answer. Why? Because it seems that I am nowhere, but somewhere. Where? I don’t know.

I guess I would say that I am somewhere between bliss and exhaustion. Heaven and hell. Uncertainty. Indecisiveness. The location evades my consciousness.

So much has happened. In the world. In my life. In Charlottesville. Sigh. I can’t.

I’m tired ya’ll. You know that I’m tired of living in a society that values ignorance over humanity. I’m tired of living in a country where the color of my skin matters more than the content of my character. I’m tired of having to talk to my son about racial bias and yet educate him on the realities of racism.

He’s 9.

He still believes in the tooth fairy. He still believes in Santa Claus. He is innocent. I have to protect him. So, I decided that I needed to take a break.

I unplugged.

I took some time to gather my thoughts, pray and re-center myself. School starts next month and so does my busy season. I have to get it together. No more drama. No more negativity sucking away at my time, money or life.

One foot in front of the other.

I march.

Slowly and with determination and uphill. It doesn’t matter. Life is what is. No crystal stair, but there are stairs to climb.

I can’t stop.

I won’t stop.

Fighting.

Fighting for Munch.

Fighting for you.

Fighting for me.

Fighting for everyone.

My break has allowed me the opportunity to reflect on my journey and recenter my expectations. To realign my goals and just breathe this sometimes heavy atmosphere into my lungs and exhale the fear and frustrations.

Can I just tell you that I was tired ya’ll?

I’ve joined so many Facebook groups trying to learn and align myself with my tribes. To inspire others. To let people know that sometimes the enemy we face is our own self. When we look in that mirror and realize that we are blocking our own blessings. We have to be accountable. We have to hold each other accountable. Only then will we feel the shift.

The shift in our perspective.

We have to heal. We have to be better. We have to see that change is gonna come if we believe.

Be blessed loves!

You were all missed.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

18 comments

  1. I am so sickened by what’s going on I had to regroup. I took us back on in my poem yesterday to a terrible time , I wanted to say we’re never going back there. I think all people of moral character are appalled that the president seems to have no moral authority. They won’t win.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “We have to be accountable. We have to hold each other accountable. Only then will we feel the shift.” — *chills*
    Sis you hit this nail on the head, perfectly. If we allow this madness to stagnate us we fail, and that is the only way we truly fail. Often the most progress is made when we take time out to gather our thoughts and focus our new frustrations. I love your “fight list”. And Munch may only be 9, but you’re his Mother and that alone, I know, proves him more than capable of not only surviving, but thriving too in this chaos. Those better days are coming, chains are falling. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love your style in writing. ” When we look in that mirror and realize that we are blocking our own blessings.” this is so true. I am working on this within myself now too. Reading a book called the Warrior Goddess in Training if you have a moment check it out. I seems to be promising so far 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Loved this Sis! I have completely unplugged. I can’t do it anymore. I spend a lot more time in prayer and meditating. I don’t know any other way to come out of this with my sanity.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Truth never changes. It is absolute. This is the world we live in…for now.
    It would be insane not to unplug and refocus from time to time.
    It’s already getting better.
    I look at my past and can remember when I thought it was over because I had lost hope.
    I could only see what was in front of me.
    Today I can see all thats going on as a blessing in disguise.
    It’s already getting better.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I love it when a woman know her limit and can take time out for her. My motto is if I take care of me first everyone else will get taken care of and no one is complaining. Currently I am raising my four year old Grand boy and he goes to a Christian School he’s the only black child and he loves it. Everyone seems so loving. He hasn’t came across racism yet but when he does I am going to pray before I speak. I was raised not to see color but a human being and I want to raise him the same way and to be proud of his race color and his talents.

    Liked by 1 person

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