2017 advice damaged dating dating chronicles divorce family marriage relationships Uncategorized

Real Men Lead

Let’s be real. We all want a man. A real man. A man to lead us. To lead our family. To be the true head of the household.

Can you imagine it? Do you have that already? Isn’t it awesome?

For those of you that don’t have that now or are looking for it, this post is for you. For those of you that are fortunate to have this kind of man, you are blessed. Keep living your happy lives knowing that two become one when you are united. I love it.

Now, one of the things that I’m realizing is that many women say that they want a man to lead, but don’t know how to submit. Let me clarify this…submission is only in marriage. Not dating or living together. Don’t shack up and submit. If you can shack up then you should get married so you can submit to your husband because let’s keep it real…it will be hard to submit once you transition from living together as boyfriend and girlfriend to married folks.

Been there and done that. That’s why Mr. C and I aren’t shacking up with our children until we jump that proverbial broom. The day that we say our vows, will be the day that we stand before God and our children and pledge our lives to each other. It is the day that I will know that my prayers have been answered and God has sent me the man to lead our family.

I will completely submit to my husband’s lead. I will follow and love and protect our family something fierce. I will pray for him and our children as I do myself and encourage his dreams. I will trust in God’s will as God has trusted him to lead.

Submission is easy when you know that the man that you are with is a good leader. Real men lead sis. Let’s cut to the chase. Leading is not instinctive in many cases, neither is submission, but I’ll discuss that later. Leadership requires sacrifice, a strong work ethic and a brilliant mind. Does your man have those qualities?

A man that will lead you needs to know these 5 things:

  1. He needs to know and follow God. This is absolutely the most important thing. How can a man lead when he’s not being led by God? He can’t. He is just winging it. You will go through things in your marriage that will try to break and destroy you. Who will your man lean on? Will he pray for you? Will he pray for guidance from God? Will he pray for your marriage? A man can’t lead you if he’s floundering out in the wilderness with no compass. God is the compass sis!
  2. He needs to know his issues and is seeking to work on them through therapy or has resolved them. A broken man can’t lead. No way. No how. If he has trust issues, money problems or a problem being faithful, he is broken. He can’t lead and you can’t follow. Don’t try to fix him sis. Keep it moving.
  3. He needs to be an investor in your marriage. That means that he has to put your marriage first all the time. ALL THE TIME. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Your marriage must come first. Your marriage is an investment that he will spend time watching and working on to make sure that the investment yields a tangible profit…happiness.
  4. He needs to have a fighting spirit. Marriage is not easy. Everyone goes through things. It’s a part of the cycle. Sometimes it will get too heavy. There may be illness, infidelity or just a lazy spirit in your marriage. He needs to be fighting for your marriage even when you don’t. Divorce should not be an option.
  5. He needs to be able to delegate. A man can’t do everything. No one can do everything. But, if he can delegate his needs to you it will bring you closer. People that try to do everything by themselves either burn themselves out or fail miserably. Trust me. I speak from experience. Being able to communicate his needs and want and delegate some responsibilities to you will allow you both to develop closer as a unit and marriage. Unity is the key.

Now, that you know what it takes for a real man to lead. Are you married to a man that is leading you? Have you ever dated a man that knows how to lead?

Tomorrow’s post will discuss a woman’s role in submission to a man.

-To Be Continued-


Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.



    Yes to ALL OF THIS! Sis, soooo much of this I can relate to. Number 4 leaped out at me bc even though I have not voiced this I’m in a season where I am noticing this quality in men and I have developed so much as a fighter myself I decided that I need a warrior right alongside me fighting for our marriage, life and well-being.

    I think a lot of women have trouble submitting because they do not trust the man’s lead, they know he is incapable. In addition, for some reason so many men have it wrong, church folks included, a woman is not to submit to a man until they are married, as you said. I’ve had guys that I dated in the past expect me to submit when we were just getting to know each other and nowhere near marriage.

    I think submission comes naturally when you trust the man’s lead.

    Interestingly enough last night I posted a blog called “Follow the Leader”. It’s comes from a different perspective but touches on the man’s ability to lead. And I have another blog about men leading in the works. However this blog encourages me to be bolder with my own words, I think I will do a variation of this one. Thanks again!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Again this is an excellent post and I already read commented on your post on woman falling in line which is also a very well written compliment.
    Just questions if the man is the head of the home what is woman title or position? Is she the heart?
    Now what if the husband dies though and the wife is left with the children if she depended and followed her husband’s lead throughout the marrige will she know how to take lead and her children?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. She is the rib. She protects his heart. Just because a man leads doesn’t mean that he doesn’t communicate and delegate responsibilities in the family. He can’t do it all. Leading is a mindset and his leading doesn’t mean that his wife doesn’t know who the mortgage company is, where the life insurance policy is located, etc. Think of it as a corporation. The CEO ultimately is the boss, but do you think he knows everything? Nope, the CFO knows a lot. It’s a partnership mentality.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay, by allowing my husband to lead that means that if we have a disagreement on how to handle a situation and we’ve both expressed our opinions, that I trust that my husband will make the best decision for our family. Because he’s being led by Christ.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply to Tikeetha T Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: