2019 dating double digits relationships

Everyone’s Got an Agenda

I was speaking with a guy the other day and I told him that everyone has an angle. He said “Really?” I said “Yep, I’ve always believed that everyone has an agenda and the key is to discover who is for you and who is against you.” He said that he didn’t believe that and it means that you are looking for the negative in people. He said he doesn’t have the time to sit back and think about that. I said I get it, but nothing happens by chance and everyone has an agenda.

He said “I don’t like to think that you’re looking at me wondering what my motive is.” Interesting. But, everyone has a motive. Some people come into your life to build and others may seek to destroy. I can accept his opinion, but I tried to explain that a person has a reason for coming into your life and you decide what value they will add to it. I don’t sit around looking at people with suspicion thinking what are they going to do to me, but I’m guarded. I believe like Mahatma Gandhi said “The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted.” I take a watch and see approach with people.

Everyone is not for you. I’m sure that you know that. Some people are against you. The key for you is to figure out what their motive is. Not in a mean way, but through observation. You can tell a lot about a person by watching and listening to them. We as women have to be careful because we always seem to fall in the trap of taking a man’s word and running with it as though it is final when his actions don’t match his words. This can be problematic for us.

We have to keep our senses about us. Trust in the process. Collect the data of what they say and do and analyze the results. Guard your heart. The Bible tells us this in Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” This is a lesson that I learned the hard way. When I fell for those that didn’t have the purest intentions. That’s when I accepted the fact that everyone has an agenda. It was up to me to find out what it is.

Now, let me be honest about the fact that their agenda could be as simple as they want to get close to you. To know you. To sit inside your spirit and sing sweet sonnets (like that huh?) but it is up to you view them with discernment. Be slow to speak and move. Observe and take it day by day. You have to protect your spirit and your heart. It’s okay to check their bags before allowing them to board your plane.

We have to spend more time being protectors of our hearts. His words may seem beautiful and well written. His swag may be on point, but you have to understand that he has an agenda. Your goal is to find out is it for you or against you. There is no rush on this journey and just enjoy the ride.


If you’re interested in being a guest blogger, please send me an email at athomaspointofview@gmail.com Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.



  1. Very interesting points and I have to agree with you . Someone once said to me that everyone is out for what they can get. I was horrified and offended at the time bit when I sat back and thought about it I could see what he meant. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to realize. Question is…can one still have walk through life with an open heart and keep it guarded at the same time?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for commenting. Yes, but it is hard to walk through life with an open heart and guarding it. See, I’m open in the beginning. I allow you to be there and for me to be a present person trying to get to know you. I’m guarded but open. However, I believe like Maya Angelou said “If someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.” I wouldn’t believe and would give too many chances and that meant that the person wasn’t truly for me. They had passed the point where they should be in my life: a reason, season or lifetime. I was trying to keep the reason people beyond their time and purpose. I’m learning as I get older.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree! Everyone has an agenda. That is not to say that every person’s agenda comes with bad intentions. As you acknowledged, we have to know what agendas are going to help us build the solid foundations we need to be our best selves. Even people with good intentions, loving agendas may not always be the perfect fit for our lives in the long term. That is not negative, that is simply life. Most people come into our lives for a few seasons or less, only a handful take up good roots. Of course, we should look for the good in everyone, but we have to definitely be able to discern the good roots from the bad. This is definitely a lesson I have had to learn a time or two because I have always tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, many times that backfired—but there have been just as many times I was right to have done so. ♥ Great wisdom Sis!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks sis. Yep, I’ve been a victim too of giving A LOT of people the benefit of the doubt and Jay said to me that you have to know if they are a reason, season or lifetime person. I really thought about that and I’m just meditating and observing everything this year.


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