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Every Man Has A Label By Day 31

I recently posted about the dating label that most men put on women by the 31st day of the month. In today’s post I will be depicting the various labels that women put on men by the 31st day of the month.  And yes… women do it too.

It is also not uncommon for a woman to have all these men in the lineup at the same time (each one carrying a unique label), especially if she’s single.

 

A Label Can Suck, But Not All Labels Are Created Equal

All men wear a label (whether we know it or not). Some women might be more intentional with their labeling—but they are very similar (and subtle) to men in how they go about applying the status they give each man. Women might apply a certain label to a man that defines what he does [for] her. In other words, if he’s someone who pays her bills, he could be labeled, “money man.”

 

Your man (publicly declared)man-label-day-31

Pretty self explanatory. Pretty much the hubby or boyfriend. Your man is the most well-rounded, and balanced man in your circle. He is the one you can do most things with….from great sex, to going out, or just sitting down having a great conversation. He is the one you share your most intimate moments with. The one you “love” and accept no matter what. Your man can just be himself because he is a constant fixture in your life. He doesn’t question his label because you make him a priority.

Your man does everything. He fills up your gas tank, cooks for you, rubs your feet after a long day at work, listens to you ramble aimlessly about (anything)—he even lets you eat off his plate.

 

Sex man

A.K.A. “Mr. Fulfillment!” S.K.A. “The Plumber.” Over a period of time, if your man is not putting out, doesn’t have time, or he isn’t very good in bed…here comes sex man. In many cases, the label “sex man” can be had by a random man you met. The sexual chemistry is so strong, you yield to it constantly, and the sexual excursions became a regular occurrence. Sex man is Mr. pleasure…you go to see him late at night..or sometimes early in the day. Sex with him is intense and spontaneous…he probably does all of the things that your man won’t do, or hits all the spots that your man can’t seem to find. He is a fantasy fulfilled… the man that has the equipment to get you off. Sex man usually doesn’t have the best personality, or even the best character. He only has one job…

lay that pipe.

Some women would probably believe that any man would want this label (right?)…. wrong. A man that is truly looking for a real relationship would not want to be limited to sex.

 

Bill Man

every-man-label-day-31The provider. Sometimes [your man], and [sex man] are broke-ass men.  Or, they work jobs that don’t make them enough money to satisfy your craving for material objects, movies, trips, car payments, bills, whatever. Money has all that covered. You need a bill paid? Call bill man. Car about to be repossessed? Call bill man. Don’t want to spend your own money? Do I really need to say it again?

You typically tease money man…making him think that you will give him some, but you never do…and if you do…you don’t let him smash… you (just might) let him taste it, that’s about it. Money man disillusions himself to think that one day he will become, [your man]. In some cases, money man knows all about your (real) man and has mass amounts of envy for him. Mm is typically not the most attractive of the 5 men listed. Having low self esteem is very common. Simply put, he enjoys your company, and/or the sex you’re willing to give him in exchange for goods…. and no, I’m not making this up.

 

Movie Man

Movie man wants everything that sex man, money man, and your man have, but doesn’t have the resolute to step up and take it. Instead he thinks of it constantly…every now and then bringing it up—and at that point you quickly change subjects. This man is cool to go out with.. you can eat and laugh with him.. or, go to a movie with him. Nights are short with this man because you very rarely go into his house, or sit and talk (that’s your man and friend man job).  It’s usually you sitting on his couch waiting for him to get ready to go out, or, you meeting him somewhere to hang out. This man also is aware of [your man] but has no idea about money man, sex man and friend man.

If you just so happen to be single and have a movie man, you don’t take him seriously, he’s a stop gap, someone you spend aimless time with until you meet the man you really want.

 

Just A Friend

This is the man that you talk-to about all the above men. He knows it all. From your indiscretions, to your infidelity. You can tell him these things because you don’t see him as your man, (you’ve friend-zoned him) nor will you ever.  He has the best conversation—better then everyone else.  He keeps your best kept secret locked away, and can even be a great alibi if your man knows about him. Perhaps at one point friend man was  go out to eat/movie man…but you just didn’t see him in a more advanced role, so…he ended up being friend man.

You may actually see friend man a little like you see sex man, but he is not as attractive to you sexually. You also don’t want to violate your friendship, so you keep things on the level they are. Friend man wants everything your man has. He will bring it up from time to time… but you always tell him, “I don’t see you that way.” Friend man typically has all the qualities you want in a man but for some reason you don’t pursue anything further. Know one knows why but you, (and probably your girlfriends).

He might be lacking in a critical area, or maybe you love your man so much you can’t leave him. This is why you have so many other different types of men. Friend man either hates your man with a passion, or he tolerates him—and really doesn’t care about the others, because he sees himself as better then them. Friend man just sits there and waits for the opportunity to pounce when you and your man break up. He is the comforter when your man is acting like an ass or you get into an argument. He is in all honesty…number two on the depth chart, waiting to be number one.

 

Thanks for reading.
Don’t forget to comment below!

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Happy International Women’s Day

Yep, it’s March 8th. Today is International Women’s Day. It’s also Women’s History Month in case you didn’t know. Did you know that according to the United Nations (UN) “International Women’s Day is celebrated in many countries around the world. It is a day when women are recognized for their achievements without regard to divisions, whether national, ethnic, linguistic, cultural, economic or political.” Isn’t that exciting?

Today is the day where we get to celebrate the successes of women around the world for their achievements on all levels. Women are doing it everywhere. The theme for International Women’s Day, 8 March, is “Time is Now: Rural and urban activists transforming women’s lives”.

In the last year, we’ve seen so many changes in the US and globally. Women are changing the face of politics in the U.S. and speaking out against abuse in every location. Realistically, Hollywood will never be the seen. We continue to move forward knowing that we are paving the path for the future young women after us.

No matter where you live, you can make a difference. You have a voice. You are not alone. Advocate for yourself and those around you. One person can make a difference. You are that person.

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Note: I do not own the rights to this photo. I did a Google search. 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

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Women Of Color – Beautiful For So Many Unrecognized Reasons

That being said, me being a creative man, I gravitate toward things that are colorful and vibrant. By colorful, I mean that literally and figuratively. Women of color just astonish me. That means, Indian, Native American, African, Latin, Arabian, Polynesian, Asian and anyone else I left out.

Why do I Love Women of Color?

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Not just because of a skin color, but because of the heritage, the culture they all come from and the history of said culture.

From the beauty and vocals of Dorothy Dandridge, to the dancing grace of Maria TallChief.  Or, we can easily tout the powerful presence of Eva Peron or Tejano vocalist Selena Quintanilla-Peréz. What about the eminence of Hatsheput or the Mother of the Modern-Day Civil Rights Movement Rosa Parks? I find all of them the most attractive. Not just physically but on a much more profound level.

What About That Look?

That being said, I can’t leave out the physical aspect. The facial features, the various skin complexions, tones, contours and hair textures. Did I mention the accents? There’s nothing like a Latin woman born in the Northeastern section of the United States. Or, a woman born in Spain, Portugal, Brazil, Panama, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic or Costa Rica. What about the culture and beauty of an African woman from Nigeria, Somalia or Ethiopia? The storied history behind those countries’ women and all that comes with the heritage. What about an African-American women from all-over the United States? They themselves bring a certain uniqueness that I find most sexy.

From their  level of intellect, charisma and fortitude, to their independent yet humble nature. That melanin carries historical perseverance and pride, while the tensity of their hair represents the strength of their people. How can you not find that beautiful?

 

These women are more than just a beholding of beauty to me. They are the very definition of perseverance and inner strength. Which, is so much more significant when you view women of color.  You must look beyond the surface.

Women of Color Are Profound

Think of the native African or even the African-American woman and what they or their ancestors endured and continue to encounter in today’s society. Slavery, War, Segregation, Racism, Sexism, Discrimination, Genocide are all trials embedded within their beings. When you look at a woman from these cultures, you have to see more than a face. More than pulchritude. More than sexual commodity to be had. They are the essence of overcoming an oppressive state of being.

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Photo Credit: Marc de Groot

Women of color are born into a world where they are automatically at a deficit because of their gender. Even with the feminist movement and the rapid advancement of women’s rights on the rise in the United States and other countries. Women are still at a bigger disadvantage than their male counterparts. Add to that, a lot of these women are born into cultures where they are beneath the men and have to scratch and claw their way to prominence. There’s a certain beauty in that… a certain sex appeal. And a definite strength.

 

The Deficit

In a earlier blog I spoke about, “Dating and the Plight of the Black Woman.” I highlighted the literal canyon of obstacles black women have to overcome just to be seen as intelligent, desirable and beautiful in the dating world when compared against women of other cultures. To give you a small example, I want you to do something for me:

  1. Pull up another window on your phone, tablet or laptop.
  2. Do a google search on, “beautiful women.”
  3. Click on images.

What did you see? What did you notice?

5 out of the first 100 images are of women of color. I would’ve gone farther, but I chose not too. You have already received my point. Women of color are not considered, “as-beautiful-as…” white women.  This is the deficit that women of color face. They already have to work 5 times harder just to be viewed as beautiful. Can you imagine how difficult that is, in the world of modeling and fashion alone? That is unacceptable. However, as shown above, it’s a harsh reality for women of color.

Hadley Freeman from, theguardian.com states in her article about black women and fashion…

Black models never, with single-digit exceptions in a decade, appear on the cover of major fashion magazines, because, as the black model Jourdan Dunn told the Guardian last year,“people in the industry say if you have a black face on the cover of a magazine it won’t sell.”

 

Jourdan Dunn-Quote-Black Woman-Dating-Love-Beautiful-color

 

My Final Take

That is how black beauty is viewed the world over. Vogue, Elle, GQ, Vanity Fair, Cosmopolitan, L’Officiel, Harper’s Bazaar, and more… rarely place women of color, let alone black women on their covers.

I for one, believe that all women are beautiful in their own unique way. No matter how they pull up in a google search or if they regularly grace the cover of internationally syndicated fashion magazines. Women of color will always be beautiful to me, inside and out.

Day 18: The Right To Vote

You know that the women showed out in last week’s elections right? But, not just women. We saw men winning in town’s that saw first black men being elected, first Sikh or first immigrant. Diversity and inclusion was the theme in last week’s election.

It was awesome. I was so proud and thankful that people are exercising their right to vote. I’m still excited.

Here are some stats about notable firsts from last week’s election:

  • In Virginia, at least 11 Virginia House of Delegates’ seats will be held by women; five are women of color.  Some notable firsts: Kathy Tran (first Asian American woman), Elizabeth Guzmán and Hala Ayala (first Hispanic women) and  Danica Roem (first openly transgender person to serve in any state legislature).
  • Vi Lyles – first female African-American mayor in Charlotte, North Carolina
  • Ravi Bhalla – first Sikh mayor in Hoboken, NJ
  • Melvin Carter  – first African-American Mayor of St. Paul, Minnesota
  • Sheila Oliver – first African-American woman lieutenant governor in the state of NJ
  • Joyce Craig -first woman elected mayor of Manchester, New Hampshire
  • Jan Moore – first woman and first African American elected mayor of Statesboro, Georgia
  • Wilmot Collins – was a refugee from Liberia and was elected mayor of Helena, Montana
  • Yvonne Spicer – first mayor, first woman and first African American of the newly incorporated city of Framingham, Massachusetts
  • Melvin Carter – first African American mayor of St. Paul, Minnesota
  • Mary Parham Copelan – first African American mayor of Milledgeville, Georgia
  • Booker Gainor – first African American millennial mayor of Cairo, Georgia
  • Brendon Barber – first African American mayor of Georgetown, South Carolina
  • Jenny Durkan – elected to be Seattle’s first female mayor since the 1920s
  • Justin Fairfax – is the second ever African-American to hold a state-wide office in Virginia. He was elected Lt. Governor. The only other black to hold a state-wide office in Virginia was former Governor L. Douglas Wilder (first African American to be elected governor in the United States of America)
  • Mazahir Salih – first Sudanese-American immigrant elected to the Iowa City Council
  • Tyler James Titus – first transgender man to win a seat on the Erie School Board in Pennsylvania

It was exciting. Diversity. Inclusion. Voting. All these things matter. On this 18th day of my #23daysofthankfulness, I’m thankful for the right to vote.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

2000 Thanks

I’ve been a little busy. I forgot to tell you that I have reached over 2,000 WordPress followers. As of today, I’m at 2,053.

I’m truly honored at the fact that you chose to follow me. I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. I value each and every one of you.

This year has been one for the books. There were many ups and downs, but it has been nothing short of amazing. Who would have thought it was less than a year ago that was I writing my 1,000 Followers! post.

I’ve increased my followers 100% in less than a year. Wow! I’m so thankful that you decided to follow this divorced mama with a passion for children, life and love. Hopefully, you’ve checked out my about me page and learned Who Am I?

If not, please do. But, I am going to follow suit from one of my other bloggers, Rosie from  Rosie Culture who asked fellow readers to feel free to ask questions and respond. I’m going to do the same. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments and I will respond in a post next week to all your questions.

Thanks again!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Day 6: Other Women – My Sisters

Ya’ll know that I love women right? I’m such a strong advocate for women and sisterhood and this year has been nothing but amazing. From me being published in my first book: Letters to Girls Who Dream of Flying to being selected to be published in another book that is coming out in June 2018, I’m so thankful. I’ve met so many wonderful women along the way that have reached out to me for collaboration, encouragement and support. So, Day 6 of my #23DaysofThankfulness is for these women.

All across the country, God is putting strong women in my life to encourage my spirit, further HIS work and just collaborate on projects. I love it. I love being able to promote and share the works of others. It takes a village and I am so thankful for all these other women. You are loved. You are appreciated. You are valued.

Thank you.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Read: Men Rape Us And You Let Them

One of my favorite sites is For Harriet and I read such a powerful essay the other day that I just had to share it. This writer’s words resonate with so many of us that have been victims of sexual assault. You know that I’m a survivor, but many of you are also a survivor. Many of your friends, family or acquaintances may have suffered sexual assault or abuse. It never ends.

Before Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein or the many other famous men that have been accused, there are just normal men out here that are hurting women and children. No one should have to be a victim of abuse. No one should have to tell the story of their #metoo assault for you to realize that we have to be advocates. Advocates for every one.

My prayer is that you will start seeing that this is a problem in our country and finding ways to stop the violence. To stop the predators. To protect the victims before they even become victims. It will take a village.

Please read this powerful essay by Nicole Shawan Junior entitled Men Rape Us and You Let Them

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Note: I don’t own the rights to this photo. Through a Google search it came up.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.