Day 4: My Man

Yes, Lord, you know that I couldn’t do my #23DaysofThankfulness without acknowledging the wonderful man that God has given me. He’s an awesome man that makes me laugh. He encourages my spirit and encourages my dreams.

He’s been there through my court drama and the circus that is my life, my parenting concerns, my issues with my dad, my published works and submissions and even through my current book writing process. He’s still consistent and true two years later. He’s reliable and good. He’s just a great human being who was raised right. I am thankful each day to his parents for that.

I had dinner with a friend last month and he asked me how we were doing. I said “Great! I’m so blessed to have this awesome man in my life.” He asked “What makes him so awesome?” I responded “Because he loves me where I am. He allows me to be comfortable knowing that I don’t need to change, but just wake up every day.” Do you know how amazing that is?

I have gone through hell and back this year and this man has been there every step of the way just loving and listening without judgement. Do you know how thankful that I am for that love? I never would have imagined that God would send such a man to be by my side just holding me and whispering words of prayer and peace in my ear.

We celebrated two years of dating this year. It’s been good. He and I are just loving this space we’re in and thankful for all God’s grace and mercy. There is only love and respect and I truly am excited for the future with this amazing man.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Reblog: Why I Won’t Love You

I won’t love you because your definition of love is vastly different from mine.

You see love as control and order. Everything must be in perfect alignment. No coloring outside of the lines.

You see love as a game where you chase, I submit and I live as you wish striving to make you happy.

You see love as a dance where you always lead and I have to follow whether or not I want to go.

You see love as an opportunity to brag and boast about the goodness of me without having to do anything.

You see love as something that you are required to have and not something you desire.

I see love as a smorgasbord of opportunities to improve the life of you.

I see love as my chance to color the rainbow on your heart just like a three year old. Why? Because sometimes love is messy.

I see love where you will chase, I will submit and WE will live each day trying to make each other happy.

I see love as a dance between two people wanting to put their best foot forward. Although I’m awkward in my love dance, I want someone who will create a new move with me.

I see love as a chance to wake up each day thanking God for you. Just you.

I see love as an opportunity to improve both of our lives by loving you without limits.

Do you see now why I won’t love you?

Our definitions of love differ.

You think of you and I think of US.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Reblog: I Wish

I love the scent of you

The scent of your skin invokes memories of

Happiness

When we were happy

When we loved without thought

When we laughed without regard

When we realized that in this bitter world

It was only us

That existed

 

But our existence has ended

We live in two separate worlds

Worlds of reality and fantasy

I want reality

You want fantasy

You tell me that your fantasy is my reality

And I realize that you may be right

And I wish I could turn back time

Rewind all the memories

Erase from my mind the scent of you

Then maybe I could stop

Just stop

Hating you

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Burning the Past

I’ve known people that when a relationship ends burn or toss pictures away of their ex. Regardless of whether they had children or not. One of the decisions that I made when I ended my marriage was to not be spiteful and destroy all photos of my ex-husband. Not because I was hoping for a reconciliation, but because it was my life. He was a part of my life. Both good and bad.

We shared Munch and he was young when we separated. He was almost 5. I often thought about life and death and my mortality. I wondered if I died tomorrow would Munch remember me. So, I kept photos of his dad and I together. That was a life that we had and if either one of us died Munch would remember that his parents had loved, laughed and lived prior to him being born. That he was created in love.

The thing is that I know so many people who discarded those photos. They have no memories of their exes to show their children. So, it got me to wonder do you burn or discard pictures of your ex? Whether they were your boyfriend or husband?

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Helluva Man

I thought it was impossible to love me. I mean I dated, married and later divorced a man that told me that I had some serious daddy issues. Was he wrong? Not entirely. But, could he have said it differently? Possibly. But, I believed his words.

They sank into my spirit and cut like knives going down my throat. I believed that I was f*cked up. I believed man over God. I was lost.

I believed that it was impossible to love me. To find someone who would see all my quirks and faults and accept them as normal. Someone who would respect my boundaries, love me and Munch and be able to afford me financially. But, God.

I thought that I had an impossible list of qualifications for a man. I wasn’t specific about height, weight, looks, etc. Well, he had to be taller than me. Nothing else was specific. Okay, I’m lying. He had to:

  1. Make no less than $10,000 than me. He could make more, but I wasn’t dating a broke man.
  2. Have children because I wasn’t having anymore.
  3. Have a relationship with Christ. This was the most important. He needed to be a believer and believe in the power of prayer.
  4. Have a relationship with his parents.
  5. Have a career that he loved.
  6. Be taller than me.
  7. Understand that I wasn’t giving him my cookies.

That was it. I didn’t know what kind of man that would bring, but when I let go and trusted God to send someone in my life that understood that I had been broken but saved by grace….whew! Mr. C showed up and showed out in my life. Even when I tried to run because I couldn’t understand these feelings that I was having. Here was a man that had all the things on my list that valued me.

That respected my boundaries and loved me in the midst of all that I had going on. He’s not perfect. Neither am I. We just craft this space that we understand and respect each other. No matter what. I’ve gotten frustrated at him and will say I need a break and get off the phone. He’s cool with it. He’ll give me the time and we’ll circle back later and discuss any residual feelings.

I never had that. I didn’t know that relationships worked like that. I was use to drama and never being able to have a civil conversation. Mr. C gets that I’m an alpha female so I get straight to the point. I don’t need to stroke his ego. He is the man and I tell him so. He knows that when I send him love notes that they are genuine. But, if I’m direct in a conversation, he doesn’t get offended. He doesn’t think that I don’t love him or I’m trying to control him. He just listens and responds. Our communication is evolving and I can honestly say that I love the man that God sent to me. The man that sends me beautiful videos to encourage my soul or little love notes that tell me how he feels. That man. He’s a helluva man!

Here’s an example of how wonderful he is:

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Yep, I’m one lucky girl!

Talk to me:  Are you in that kind of relationship? What kind of things did you want in a potential partner?

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Tuesday Thoughts

Hello Good People!

How are you this Tuesday afternoon? You’ve been missed. I took some time off to regather and regroup my spirit. I needed to unwind and sleep. Mama is tired.

School is ending in two weeks for Munch and I’m planning summer activities, camp and work (yes, my baby will be working on Math and Reading this summer). I’m excited by the prospect of new adventures and no rushing to school and work. Less traffic is always a plus. For whatever reasons, there tend to be less cars on the road during the summer.

But, I’m thankful.  I’m thankful for great opportunities. I’m thankful for my job. I’m thankful for family and friends.

I got to spend time with my niece this weekend. Munch hadn’t seen her since Christmas because she was away at college. She is heading to another state to spend the summer with her dad next week so the time was precious. There were fights, arguments and lots of hugs and playing. He missed her. They are like siblings. He told her that she was a moron. She told him that his belly was fat. He cried.

I laughed. I explained that when you choose to call people names, you can’t get mad when they call you names back. The key is to not do it. Let your words be positive and productive and not cruel and hurtful. Alas, they made up and he fell asleep on her. It was beautiful.

There was peace.

The peace reminded me that even in my worst days when I feel like I can’t catch a break and things are not working…there is always love. Love between cousins. Love between parents and children. Love with your significant other. Love from your family and friends.

I am loved.

You are loved.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Dating Chronicles: The Series

I hope you enjoyed reading my series entitled “Dating Chronicles” and some of the things that I endured when dating. I’ve always tried to be very honest and transparent with you because I want you to know that I’ve been there and done that too. I am an eternal optimist and I believe in love. No matter what. Despite the trials and tribulations and false starts, life is truly about finding your footing and figuring it out. You have to keep climbing. No matter what.

I didn’t think that at this point in my life I would find someone that I would so perfectly fit with, but I did. Not that I’m perfect, but Mr. C loves all my many personalities and it just works. We choose to strengthen both our foundation with each other and our relationship with God. We speak every morning on the phone and read our daily devotional and pray together before starting our day.

We’re trying something different. Something that neither of us really did in past relationships. We’re taking it slow, practicing celibacy and just getting to know each other. There is no rush to it. There is comfort and consistency.

I like the G spot (girlfriend spot) and I love that he still courts me and woos me after so many months. He’s been my rock and my friend. He makes me feel safe. He respects me. He’s a man of his word and every day we wake up and make a conscious decision to choose each other. No matter what.

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Stay tuned to my story because I’ve only given you a glimpse into my dating life, but there are so many more stories to tell. I hope this gave you an opportunity to know me a little more. To be able to relate to me.

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If you want to check out the series, they are here:

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.