And there I stood trying to look like I have it all together. Some days I do. I truly do. But, others find me cruising through on autopilot. It’s the last Wednesday of the month. The last week of August 2019 and I’m just standing. It’s been an emotional month.
I’ve cried so much in the last 30 days. I was too tired of crying and dealing with bull*hit. I learned a lot about me and many people around me. What I’ve learned is that I don’t have the same energy that I had last year or the year before. I no longer choose to engage in things that don’t have a high return on investment.
Between drama with people I know, my illness, my car accident and hiring for an open position on my team I was running on empty. I was journaling, praying and trying to get my mind right because I needed to stop stressing and focus on the big picture. I was prioritizing my life with things that mattered most to me. I have no regrets about that. Ask me to choose between anything or anyone or my Munch and know that I will I always choose him. He needs me more.
So, I made some hard choices. Pushed some things to the side and focused on what I needed to do first. I got some things accomplished. I bought a new car last week because they totaled out my car from the accident earlier this month. With the car situation secured, I was able to focus on getting Munch’s school clothes for the upcoming year. I had already picked up a new book bag, lunch box and school supplies all the while wondering when he will grow out of wanting a new book bag every school year. Apparently, after 9th grade.
I’m better. I’m no longer sick. I’m no longer tired. I’m choosing to put my needs and those of my son first and foremost. I’ve planned some great things in the next few months. I’m getting ready for the book talk and signing in October. I hope that you’ll attend.
It’s been a long time coming but I learned something. When I stand and just take it one day at a time, things will work out. I trust God. I lose faith sometimes. I’m human. I’m a work in progress. In all that I’ve been through…I am just standing.