You’re Making Him Wait?

Many people find it strange that Mr. C and I are practicing abstinence. I’ve heard more than one person ask “So, you’re making him wait?” It really seems to confuse some people. I’m not sure why, but it is funny as hell to Mr. C and I.

Why is it that you view waiting as a bad thing? Am I really making him wait? What is the big deal? These are all the questions that run through my head when I hear someone ask the question of why I’m making him wait. I want to clear up some questions that people may have about us and practicing abstinence.

  1. I’m not making him wait. He’s choosing to wait to respect the will of God over and through my life. It’s his choice. I’m not forcing him. I’m not holding a gun to his head. I’m not promising him a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. LOL, not yet. He’s a grown man who makes his own decisions so he is choosing to wait.
  2. It’s hard. Some days are better than others, but we are in no rush for marriage, so no rush to the bedroom. I hear it gets easier, but I have no point of reference to compare it too since this is a first for me. We are not laying up in each other’s house hanging in the bedroom all night, so that takes away the idea of sexing each other up. We spend time watching TV or going out. No hanging around in the bedroom.
  3. It’s allowing us to truly get to know each other. Let me tell you that even though I’ve known Mr. C for almost 2 years we’re still learning each other. It’s a lot to learn about someone and to really get to know them enough to take their last name. We are truly committed to finding out about each other without making sex the deciding factor that blinds us about each other’s faults.
  4. I don’t care if the sex is bad. Yep, I said it. People have always asked me “What if the sex is bad?” I don’t care. I’m older now and I realize that sex is overrated. Good, but overrated. I’m not that concerned whether or not he can lay the pipe right. With age comes wisdom. I’m older and I would enjoy sex with my husband. Hell, we’ll figure it out in the bedroom. Having someone rub my feet, give me a massage and just have my back matters more than if he’s banging in the bedroom.
  5. He respects my boundaries. Mr. C and I have traveled out of town and slept in the same room and nothing has happened. He’s a gentleman that respects me. He’s not using this time to get to know each other outside of our zip code as a chance to jump my bones. He respects the love and relationship we have and just doesn’t try it. The key to being on the same level is making sure that your partner respects your boundaries.

That’s it. No big secret. No kind of witchery is being used. I’ve just been blessed to meet a wonderful man that sees me for who I am and for what I want and just respects that. I’m not making him wait. He’s choosing to wait.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6.26.17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about stillness. Remembering to be still. It’s a continuation of the theme that I’ve been exploring all month long with remembering to find your own peace, practicing mindfulness and not believing your haters. The final motivational moment is about learning to be still when the storms of life are raging all around you.

Let’s face it…We’re all busy. Some more than others and we are rushing and going everywhere and nowhere. We never have time for ourselves. We feel like we must do or have to do things all the time or they won’t get done. I know. I’m one of those people.

In the hustle and bustle of life we have to remember that there is strength in the stillness. Sometimes you have to be still. You have to slow down and breathe. You have to take care of you. Things will be as they are supposed to be so you can’t run yourself ragged with worrying or trying to fix them.

Think about all the times that you’ve worried about a situation and tried multiple ways to fix it. Did it stress you out? Did you figure it out? Yes? No? If you did figure out what you needed to do, were you so stressed about it that you wondered if it would really work? I have.

Being still allows me to stop my mind from worrying and trying to figure everything out. I can’t do it on my own. I know this. You know this. So, why do we try to do it on our own? I am learning to turn off my mind and not worry about things. Being still allows me to stop my mind and thoughts from racing and trying to figure out a solution to every single problem.

I am a control freak. I need to figure out everything and have a solution to many of life’s problems before I can relax. Hilarious, right? What is that old saying “Want to know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.” Yep, that’s me. Trying to plan and figure out a solution for everything. But, can I be honest? It’s exhausting.

In this season that I’m in, I am learning to be still and allow God. I’m learning to quiet my thoughts and just trust that God is still God and whatever will be will be. Why ? Because I trust God. He hasn’t changed. I am the one who needs to be still and allow him to work in and through me. I trust that all things will work according to His will.

Psalm 46:10 The Message (MSG)

8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.”

 

When you are in a perpetual hell you need to quiet your mind. You need to just be still. My Motivational Monday Moment is about you just doing that. Do nothing. Be still. Be present.

It’s hard being still. You have to quiet your mind. You have to make time to do nothing. I told you how I’m practicing meditation and it’s hard as heck, but I’m trying. I’m trying to live in the present and focus on the here and now. Not stress about the future or the problems that I have. I’m learning to unplug.

This is a big one for me. I started with the weekends. I really don’t read or write posts on the weekend because it is my time. My time for me and my time for my family. I do my best to schedule my posts. I’m also trying to limit my on-line time. Social media is killing me. The politics, the multiple social injustices and the never ending issues with things in my community are stressing me the heck out. Oh, and don’t forget my own personal issues.

I need to be still.

I need to practice stillness.

I need to allow God to be God and quiet my mind. There are too many distractions and I know how easy it is to fall into a trap of self-importance. You know the trap that you can fix everything? You can’t. You’re not that important. And you know what? Neither am I.

Let’s be still.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 6/12/17

Today’s Motivational Monday is about mindfulness. I told ya’ll last week how stressed I’ve been and it is affecting my health. I need to get a grip. I’ve begun to make changes and starting to implement the things my therapist and doctor told me because I don’t want to die. I have too much to live for.

That being said, I started to practice mindfulness. You’re probably wondering…what is mindfulness? T, what are you doing? Is this some hokey pokey weird stuff? No, I assure you it is not. I am just learning to exhibit some self-control over my mind when it comes to the stress that I’m enduring.

mindfulness (n)

  1. the state or quality of being mindful or aware of something.
  2. Psychology.
  1. a technique in which one focuses one’s full attention only on the present, experiencing thoughts, feelings, and sensations but not judging them:  The practice of mindfulness can reduce stress and physical pain.
  2. the mental state maintained by the use of this technique.

So, I’ve been doing breathing exercises and incorporated meditation. About 1 minute of mediation daily. It’s a start. I’m trying to control my mind so that I’m not being consumed by all the negativity.

I’ve also started to track the things that are stressing me out, accept them and move on. This is a big deal for me. Usually I let them sit in my spirit and I’m so angry and ready to cuss. I let the anger sit in my spirit and mind and fester in me all day and I am holding on to it.

I am learning to breathe through it. Refocus and accept that things are not always going to be the way that they should and that’s okay. That’s life. But, I used to feel the need to argue and tell my side of the story and my point of view on things when people talk about me or blatantly lie on me. That is not the case. With mindfulness comes an awareness of self.

I can only control me. That is the only thing that I need to worry about. Giving time and energy to things that don’t yield tangible results would be a waste. I need to focus and redirect my spirit to the present and just keeping positive vibes around me. Negative vibes will destroy the hell out of your mood.

My Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you to be mindful of the energy that you allow around you. Choose only positive energy today. If you can’t do that, then be mindful of the energy that is not in line with your spirit and move to a place of peace and acceptance of that negativity. Don’t let it consume you or destroy the wonderful place you’re cultivating.

im-letting-go-of-the-thoughts-that-dont-make-me-strong-quote-1

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

March Goals

February was one of the best months that I’ve had ever since I’ve been blogging. Here are my stats for February.

My March goals are as follows:

  • Post 35 times
  • Share at least 5 posts this month
  • Do 2 Book Reviews
  • Share an Interview
  • Follow 5 quality bloggers this month

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Day 5: Seven Days of Thankfulness

I’m thankful for discernment.

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I haven’t always been able to judge well. I’ve trusted people that I shouldn’t have. I’ve allowed people in my life who shouldn’t have been there. I was young. I was naive. I didn’t know how to discern what it was that God wanted me to do.

But, I tell you that something happened when I turned 40. I trusted in the Master’s Plan for my life. I started to follow my inner voice and be able to discern what was His will and what was my will.

I began to grow. I began to watch my life manifest right before my eyes. Things started happening and chains started being broken. People started to leave. I began to feel alone. I cried out for God to help me and He sent people in my life that showed up and showed out. He shook my foundation and allowed some roots to stay planted where they were.

He was moving me in a different direction.

When I realized that it was God and that He was cleansing me from those who weren’t allowed to go to the next level with me I started to feel the power of His presence. Sense that He was ordering my steps. I bridled my tongue and endured some foolishness because I heard him clearly say that my destiny has been determined and you can’t afford to lose your way.

See, He knows what he is doing in my life and that there are folks in my life that are trying to distract me. My destiny is too important to give up for anything. Whew! I tell you that when I realized that it was He who was moving me in another direction, I adjusted the sails and set course for better days.

Discernment. I’m so thankful for that gift. I’m able to realize what is worth it and what isn’t. I won’t go back.

 

Bye Bye 2015

It’s the last day of the year and I’m sitting here thinking what Munch and I will have for dinner. Thinking about parking at this big church event that we are attending later on tonight. Why? Because it’s New Years’ Eve and I’m a mom who has her son. So, we are going to ring in the New Year giving praise and thanks for another day.  Another year. Bye-Bye 2015!

Bye-Bye-GIF

What did I learn in 2015? I shared the gifts I got in a prior post. A lot of lessons, some pain, lots of joy, some heartache and some not so pleasant things. But, in the end I learned more about me this year. I learned that I am strong and capable of surviving any storm. Ya’ll know that my struggle was real and my story had more bumps that caused crashes, but I’m grateful. I survived. So did you.

What do I wish for 2016? What do I want? Here are the top 5 things that I want in 2016.

  • Love
  • Debt Reduction
  • Healthier Lifestyle
  • Romance
  • Many more mommy moments

To be more specific and put it out in the universe…

  • Love – I want to find someone who I can be myself with and experience all the good and bad things that life has to offer. I want a slow and steady and dependable kind of love. I told my friend that I want an easy like Sunday morning kind of love. The love that you don’t have to work for. The love that endures. The love that just exists and in that moment we are so blissfully happy we don’t know how we got here. No, it doesn’t mean that it’s perfect, it just works. It works for us. We can have fights and disagreements, but we do it fairly. No below the line fighting or name calling. No rage. We are grown so we know how to make up. This year, I want to find someone who loves me and my son as though we were flesh of his flesh. I vow to do the same.

love-07

  • Debt Reduction – Yes, this is a big one for me too. I want to reduce my debt and curb my spending. I have some goals that I’m trying to achieve and I need to get cracking. I’m looking at budgets, tracking my spending and creating emergency cash reserves. I have a lot of stuff I need to do and I’m trying to read, research, react and reduce my debt. I’m getting accountability partners and plotting my plan. Trust me…I will keep you posted by guest blogging with a couple of fellow bloggers so you get the real nitty gritty. LOL!

Erasing Debt

  • Healthier Lifestyle – I’ve shared with you the slow progress of getting my health on track with working out, practicing mindful eating and trying to reduce my stress. It’s part of honoring my temple to be a healthier version of me. The pound loss has been slow but I’m definitely losing inches and my clothes fit differently. I want to continue working out and making healthier choices to prevent the need for medications. My goal is to lose a total of 40 pounds for 2016. That’s about 3.33 pounds a month. It starts with me.

10092014061606_healthy-living-tips2232

  • Romance – I was never one who believed in romance, but I have to admit that I’m sort of romantic by default. I love to do little things and to have someone special do little things for me. I like to surprise you with a romantic dinner or gift just because. I like those things in return. I like little notes or emails to let me know what I mean to you or what you’re feeling about me at any given moment. It is when someone listens to my heart and tries to make me happy that I feel special. I want a romance where we speak each other’s love language and we like it. We put forth an effort to romance each other. You like physical touch? I like quality time. Let’s romance each other in 2016.

romantic kiss-saidaonline

  • Many more mommy moments – Yes. This is a definite. My munch and I have so many moments that we’ve shared this year and I can’t wait to share so many more. I bought a new DSLR camera (my first one) and I’m so excited. I want to capture all the moments we share whether on this new camera or with my cell phone. For example, he got his first check from his grandma for Christmas and I had him take it to the bank and deposit it in his account. He was scared, but he loved the experience. That’s my wish for him. More moments where I can teach, engage, love or just nurture his spirit. I love being a mom and he’s growing so quickly.

View More: http://magnoliastreetphoto.pass.us/tikeetha--brendan

That’s all folks.  It’s time to say bye-bye to 2015.  What are your 2016 goals? Do you write them down?

 

 

Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to any of the photos except those of my son and I. I did a Google search on the above photos.

On the 9th Day of Christmas

What I received this year…

Wisdom – My mother told me when I turned 40 in January that one thing that she wants me to know is that 40 brings about wisdom. A greater understanding of self and others. She said you will really begin to dig into who you are and what you want when you turn 40. No truer words. This year has been about me learning to love me, accept that others won’t ever love me and be okay with it. I’ve been wise to hold my tongue and I’ve shown strength when I’ve walked away from unhealthy situations and people. I received wisdom this year and I’m grateful for it.

[ File # csp5262413, License # 1720724 ] Licensed through http://www.canstockphoto.com in accordance with the End User License Agreement (http://www.canstockphoto.com/legal.php) (c) Can Stock Photo Inc. / payphoto
[ File # csp5262413, License # 1720724 ]
Licensed through http://www.canstockphoto.com in accordance with the End User License Agreement (http://www.canstockphoto.com/legal.php)
(c) Can Stock Photo Inc. / payphoto

James 3:17-18 (MSG)

17-18 Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.