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Finding the Beauty in Broken Things

This was one of the topics my therapist and I discussed a couple of weeks ago. She was telling me that I needed to find the beauty in the broken things and stop being so pessimistic. I couldn’t help it. I literally felt like everything around me was falling apart and that life was dragging me along.

I felt alone.

I know you’re probably thinking, “T, how can you be alone if you have this great guy that you love and adore and is good to you?” Easy – he’s not always there. We don’t live together so sometimes I am the one fighting for his attention when he has many other things going on. Not that I’m jealous. He takes care of a lot of people. I know that. I support that. But…

Sometimes my mind makes me believe that there is no one when I’m going through the storm. I can sit there and call my top five people and they are all busy. They will usually call back, but in the middle of my self-imposed crisis, I feel like I’m drowning. In the ocean with no raft.

That’s when my therapist told me that I needed to change my mindset. That I was being consumed by the negative and I needed to see the beauty in the broken things. She was explaining how there is a Japanese art form called kintsugi that uses gold to fill in the broken pieces of bowls. “The Japanese art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride.” – Steffano Carnazzi , LifeGate

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That’s what she wanted me to remember that life may seem broken and I may get overwhelmed, but I need to sit back and see the beauty of all that is around me. There is beauty within me no matter what. She said you’re like that bowl.

She said that I need to stop being overwhelmed by the issues/situations that are affecting me and celebrate some of my successes. So, I’m doing that. Here are three success that I’m sharing with you today:

  • I’m a TODAY Parenting team contributor. I’m truly excited about this. Baby steps.
  • I wrote two grants for my son’s school last year that were approved and will be funded. Pretty cool huh?
  • I pitched two pieces last week and I’m hoping that they will be picked up. Hey, the worst they can say is no, right?

That’s about it. I know that I have a lot of people praying for me and Munch and I truly am grateful. I just need to change my attitude and start counting my successes more than my failures. There are a lot out there and I’m just in awe of God’s grace.

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Note: I do not own the rights to these photos. A Google search showed on kintsugi images showed them.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Don’t Trust It – New Rule

It’s 2018 ya’ll and there are just some things you shouldn’t trust. What specifically am I talking about? Women and men that don’t have friends. It’s time for the truth…You can’t trust men or women that don’t have friends.

Why would you date someone that has no one in their life that loves and holds them accountable for their behaviors?  Friendships are a must with anyone over the age of 10. There is no way you can meet a man or a woman and they don’t have friends and you be cool with it. That is creepy as hell.

Friends hold you accountable. They know all your secrets and love you in spite of your faults. They trust you and you trust them. It’s a bond not solidified by blood, but more important because they don’t have to be there for you.

I swear close friends are mind readers. Do you know how often I’ve called my closest friends just to talk when in actuality something was on my mind? They instantly knew it. They heard it in my voice. They reminded me that they knew me better than that and even though I may not want to talk about it now, they would be there for me. They would have my back. They would be there when I felt ready to let them in.

Man, I don’t know where I would be without my friends. When I’m wrong. They are there. When I’m right they are there. When I’m just barely holding on by a thread and my mind is trying to break, they reach in and grab hold and love me through my pain.

How can someone not have that in their lives? What have you done to make people not want to invest time and effort into you? I’m not saying you need to have a lot of friends, but you need to have one. One person that is not related to you that can speak of your character.

Think about this…many people who apply for government jobs and have to do clearance have to list character references. Let’s not forget about friends/family members who are going through custody cases. Who can speak to you? Who can reference your character and talk about who you are as a person?

You don’t have anyone? Then figure out what the issue is and get to making friends. It’s 2018, there is no excuse to not have friends. If you don’t, how can we trust you?

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Day 3: My Family & Friends

I told you yesterday that I’m thankful for niece and the day before that how I’m thankful for my Munch. It’s now Day 3, and I wanted to share that I’m thankful for my family and friends. God has blessed me with awesome people that love and support me throughout all that I’ve been through and all that I’m going through. I am truly blessed.

My family has stood up and in the gaps of some of my most painful moments this last year. I am thankful for that. They’ve supported and loved me through the trials and tribulations that I’ve encountered. I am blessed.

However, I am also blessed for those that have left over the last year. I know that there is a season for everything. A season in which those that can go no further with you on this journey in life, will exit stage left. It’s not a bad thing. It’s reality.

It was hard for me to accept at times, but I know that God’s plans for me are greater than I could have ever imagined. He knows all and He sees all. So, some have dropped by the wayside as I continued on my journey to figuring out where I’m supposed to be and I know that it was as it should be.

When one door closed, God opened another. There has been so much support over the last year in terms of my sorority sister, my Facebook groups and just people that have come into my life. I’m thankful and blessed by it all.

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Day 3 of my #23DaysofThankfulness is all about my family and friends.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 7/31/17

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment came to me after hearing the original song “Lean On Me” by Bill Withers. You know that great song that came out in 1972? If not, click the text and listen to it. Awesome song.

That song was floating in my spirit as I went to go see the movie Girls Trip for the second time with another set of girlfriends this weekend. So, my Motivational Monday moment is about the importance of friends. Friendship is essential to the soul and you should never go through life without having a couple of friends that you can depend on.
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Not just your spouse, but your girlfriends or homeboys. You need someone who knew you before and has invested time in nurturing and developing a connection with you. Someone that you can call on when the s*it hits the fan. The person that not only knows where all the bodies are hidden, but helped you bury a few.

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That friend. That is the kind of friend that you should have. That’s what I want to talk about today.

In that movie there is a group of four women who had been super close since college. They graduated college together, navigated storms together and used to travel annually together and then life got in the way. Petty fights that had no resolution started to break down their relations.  Silence became the norm between a couple of the women. Isn’t that always what happens in a group?

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Now, in the movie you see two women in the group try to reconnect after a conflict. It’s awkward and yet they are trying. Both have their own issues and they become a topic between the group before the trip ends. But, the problem was that their pride wouldn’t allow them to see the best in each other. To know that true friends will always speak their peace no matter what. They will protect you. They will love you. They will defend you and they won’t let you fail.

That song reminded me of this when I heard a couple of verses…

Lean on me, when you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on
For it won’t be long
‘Til I’m gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have faith you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won’t let show

Friendship is supposed to be symbiotic. It is both parties benefiting from the relationship. You have to let people get close. You have to let your friends in and let them know when you’re hurting. Let them help you carry some of your baggage.

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Better yet, let them help you empty them suitcases and burn that stuff. Don’t allow your pride to make you shut them out. No one can help you if you don’t let them in.

My Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you that friendship is essential to your core. Allow those that you trust to enter into your circle and be that support system for you. Give your friendship your all and don’t be too prideful to let the folks that love you the most be there for you.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Yelp Is Not Facebook

I have a gripe. A rant really. When the heck did Yelp become like Facebook and wanting you to have Friends? I love Yelp. Yelp is a website that helps people find great local businesses like dentists, restaurants, hair stylists and mechanics. Pretty much everything.

I use Yelp a lot when I want to go and check out a new restaurant. I want to read the reviews and look at the pictures of the food that people received. A review and a photo always helps me to determine if it is worth my dime or my time.

Mr. C and I used Yelp when we went to Miami last year. We ate at restaurants that had been reviewed on Yelp and had the best food and service. It was heaven.

We had walked into a Cuban spot for breakfast and the waitress asked how we found the restaurant and I told her that they had great reviews on Yelp. She was excited and told the owner. I told her that is how I eat when I’m trying something new. Yelp never lies.

So, I was surprised when I realized that I had friend requests from people on Yelp. What? Why? Did I know you personally? Why do we need to be friends on Yelp? We’re not friends in real life. Isn’t this just weird?

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Needless to say, it is weird as hell to me. Yelp is not Facebook and I don’t need to be friends with strangers. Social media has gotten out of control.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Is It A Date?

Is it a date if you go out with a man that you’re friends with and he pays? You’ve never been intimate and have no desire to be other than friends with each other. Would you consider it a date? What if you’ve been friends for more than 5 years?

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Random: The Lost Ones

Do you ever wonder about your relationships that have ended? I’m not talking about just romantic relationships. I’m talking about all relationships. Male and female. Friendships and/or relationships. Does it bother you that you’re no longer friends or do you accept that they served their purpose and it’s time to move on?

 

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Things I Let Go

In 2017,  I realized that I wasn’t going to carry other people’s baggage anymore. I’m living proof that you have to go through things in order to get to your happiness. I’m in a happy place. But, I don’t take it for granted.

What I used to do was carry the baggage of others. I would allow them to dump their problems/issues on me and then try to make them feel better. Umm, not going to happen in 2017.

What I realized is that I can’t carry someone else’s baggage. As my girlfriend said “You don’t work for the airlines boo. Tell them to carry their own bags.” No truer words.

I’ve spent much of my life trying to people please. I tend to excuse the negative behaviors of those I love because they may be going through something. Not anymore.

I don’t have the time nor the energy to be anyone’s clean-up woman. I have a wonderful life with a beautiful son and a great man. I have many activities and projects that I’m working on. I don’t have time for the unresolved drama of others.

I know it may seem harsh. But, I can’t. I won’t. And neither should you.

I understand that the world has many people with issues, but I’m in therapy and working on mine. I can’t be around people who are not doing the same. I’m trying  to be better for myself, for my son and for my man. I can’t deal with those that are practicing avoidance.

Life is too short. Let go and get help.

 

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Munch’s Black History Moment

Munch is learning about Martin Luther King Jr. and the Civil Rights Movement in school. He was telling me about Martin Luther King Jr. and all the things he learned…

  • he was a pastor
  • he’s from Atlanta, Georgia
  • he went to Morehouse (like his daddy)
  • he delivered his I Have a Dream speech in Washington, DC
  • he was assassinated

As he was talking he stopped and said “Mommy, Martin Luther King’s speech was about us living in harmony. People of all colors. He wanted us to get along. Like I get along with Noah and Emma. We’re all one.” I smiled. “Yeah, baby we’re all one people. We all matter.”

He then said “Even though Noah and Emma and I have different colors we are all important and need to learn how to get along. We all belong to God and Martin Luther King Jr. wanted all of us to be treated fairly.”

Yep, this kid is amazing. My son. He knew that his skin color was different than my girlfriend and her family. But, they don’t see color as a problem. They see it as different but perfectly normal. We all matter. We should all get along.

I have been blessed with some amazing friends throughout my life and I’m excited that in a time of turmoil that my son can see the bigger picture. His life matters. The life of his friends matter. We’re all apart of that big beautiful rainbow.