I read this great article entitled “If I have Gay Children” on the Huffington Post a couple of weeks ago and it made me smile. Not a simple “Aw, that’s cute smile”, but a genuine “Dang, another parent gets what I’ve always said” smile. The article is great because the Rabbi is saying that if I have gay children, I will simply love and accept them.
Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do? Just love and accept our children? I never really knew gay children growing up in a small town. Not saying that they didn’t exist, but it wasn’t something people came up and told me. But, it was in college that I really realized the depth of discrimination against gays. Especially from the very thing I loved the most…My church.
I grew up Southern Baptist which is different from regular Baptist. Southern Baptist is all fire and brimstone and everyone is going to hell type of preaching. Yep, that kind of scary Baptist preaching that had me quaking in my boots. There were tent revivals and a constant reminder to save ourselves for marriage and keep impure thoughts out of your mind or you’re going to burn in hell.
Well, when I moved to Maryland I was introduced to being a regular Baptist. Not fire and brimstone preaching but of God’s grace, mercy and never ending love. The agape love that will leave you wanting for nothing. That is where I learned that there is nothing in the world that I could do that would sever the relationship between me and God.
I realized that I didn’t like fire and brimstone preaching and preferred God’s encompassing love preaching. It was where I was ashamed that the religion that introduced me to a wonderful God who loved when I let my light shine bright also would disown me were gay. I was heartbroken.
I swore that I would never worship at a place that would treat anyone in such a manner. I would be vocal in my disdain for preaching that taught and fueled hate instead of God’s love. I would make sure that if I ever had children that I would love the beautiful gift that God gave me and never make them feel as though their homosexuality is a curse. Because it is not.
So, I will thank the author for expressing what I feel should my son be gay. Because there is nothing and I mean NOTHING that will stop me from loving him. I am his mother and that will never change. I will hold his hand until he tells me to let go. I will comfort, console, stand up and defend him because if he’s gay, ya’ll will know because I will blog about it. No embarrassment. Just unfailing love for this beautiful boy.
Here’s my list…
1) If my son is gay, oh well. I will proudly rock the rainbow and stand by him because he is still the same child I carried in my womb and told God that I would give to Him should he let him be born. Now, what color should I wear to the gay pride parade because momma is coming.
2) If my son is gay, he will still go to church. I have one of the best darn churches in the world. I love my church family and I can’t imagine my son growing up somewhere different. But, if he should ever leave our church, it won’t be because he’s disowned or made fun of. It’s because he feels that God has anchored his spirit in another wonderful house of worship.
3) If my son is gay, I will still be his number one fan. I pray for my son every day multiple times throughout the day. I am his biggest fan. I rally for any and all things munch. Constant, vocal and loud, this will never change. Get used to it.
5) If my son is gay, it still means that he still must be of service. Service is the fundamental thing that we’re called to do. It is in everything I teach him. We are by God’s grace able to afford this or that. Others may not, but you need to remember that Matthew 20:28 (NLT) says that “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.” So, what will you give?
I loved his list and I hope you like my modified list. I am truly blessed and overwhelmingly grateful for my son and I can’t imagine raising a young man in a hate filled nation or environment. I know he would never choose to be gay and if he’s gay, he’s gay now, but so what? He’s still mine and I’m still the happiest and luckiest mother in the world.