Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really know. – Cicely Tyson
One of the things that I’ve been sharing is that I’m looking at my past relationships and analyzing me and my behavior and looking at men through a different lens. I had a friend ask me what kind of behaviors and/or traits am I willing to accept in a relationship and I paused. I said that I would accept a man that made less money than me. He laughed. He said that is not a trait.
I smiled. I guess it’s not.
So, guess what I did? I started thinking about what he said and developed a needs assessment in relation to a potential partner. What were the things that I needed in both a relationship and in the person? I had to write it down. Chart the course. Oh, and while I’m at it I needed to do a wants list. What are some things that I want, but aren’t really required?
I’ve always been neurotic and analytical when it comes to stuff, so why not about dating? I didn’t do this the first time around and that didn’t work out so well. I allowed my needs to not matter because someone else’s “need to love me” was bigger than my own. Not going to make that mistake again.
I finished and wanted to share my list with you. This is not the complete list because I would hate for someone to review this and “play” the part. But, I wanted to show you what I did so that you can think about doing this for yourself if you’re single. Try creating your own list.
NEEDS FOR A RELATIONSHIP
NEEDS FOR A PARTNER
|Open communication||A good listener|
|Faithfulness to each other||Monogamous relationship|
|Faith||Have a relationship with God|
|Church||To attend church regularly|
|Financial stability||To be financially stable|
|Financial integrity||Paying debts|
|Passion||Need to have passion|
|Loving||Give love freely|
|Respect||Must respect me|
|Supportive||Must support my goals and dreams|
|Team attitude||Focus on us as the team by creating a strong foundation|
|Family Oriented||Must love my son|
WHAT I WANT
|Love language speaker|
|Someone who values relationships|
|Advocate for social issues|
There you have it. I’ve outlined my needs for a relationship and for a potential partner, identified my wants and left it alone. Happy hunting!