2016 advice dating dating chronicles on-line dating relationships

Fire, Sex and Dating – Part 2

Continued from yesterday’s post…

I read Juanita Bynum’s “No More Sheets” and was transformed.  I knew what I needed to do. I needed to live in the will of God. I was now in transition. Transitioning from talk to action. The transition of me trying to be a better Christian.

I thank Mr. C for coming into my life at this time of transition. For his understanding and accepting of that desire to please God and for wanting to do the same. It’s funny though because a lot of people can’t understand this change in me. They don’t understand the will of God and where He is taking me so this concept of waiting is mind-blowing to them.

Mind-blowing, really? Not to me. However, I tried it the other way. I know how that scenario plays out…

Girl meets boy. Boy pursues girl. Girl dates boy. Girl falls for boy. Girl sleeps with boy. Boy stops pursuing girl.  Boy makes girl a booty call.

If our stories are similiar then know that we are the only ones that can change it. I was explaining to a friend how God had been working with me this season and that I’m tired of being lazy with God. I needed to be better and do better. I told her that I’m tired of men stringing me along to get the cookies. I’m tired of all the games that were being played. I wanted to be a priority and not an option. She said, “You want to see how he prioritizes you outside of the bedroom”. There it was.

I wanted to see how he prioritizes me outside of the bedroom. I don’t want the bedroom to be your focus when you think of me and spending time getting to know me. Your goal shouldn’t be to date me to hopefully get me to bed. So, I took my cookies off the table and wanted to date and focus on other things. Is it easy? Not all the time, but you have to change your mindset.

Ask God to help you live in His will. Don’t fall victim to shaming or any other tactics people will use to distract you from living accordingly. Heck, I’ve had people telling me that I need to view the merchandise before marriage, test drive the car and anything that sounds like it might move me off this path of celibacy and doing what I know is right. I even had a friend say to me that if Mr. C doesn’t try anything with me that he’s gay.

I was shocked to say the least. Really? He’s gay because we had a conversation where I took my cookies off the table and he’s not trying to seduce me. Was she trying to imply that what’s between my thighs will make a man choose to lose his salvation?

I don’t know. But, I’m thankful that I have a grown man that loves God more than people who are being fans of Christ. He wants to honor him. I value and respect that about him. No,  I don’t think he’s perfect. He’s just a good guy and I’m thankful that God is giving him space in my life. That we are trying to abide.

I’m not faultless. I’m a sinner. I’m a work in progress.  I’m staying true to me and trying to live in His will. Dating has changed for me and I am not interested in hook-ups, pretend interests or back-sliding Christians (I’m trying to do better). I will keep you informed of all that is happening as I walk this new path.



  1. inspiring, i feel this way all the time. i pray for strength to start afresh and stay on God’s path for me. I nominated you for the one lovely blog award, do check out my last post, and take as much time as you want should you choose to accept, if you don’t do awards, know that i love you still. muaaah.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know what you want and are going after it. Don’t let anyone tell you what your spiritual path should be, let alone what should or should not be going on in your bed. Talk about presumptuous!

    The only thing I might suggest is that you find some grace for yourself in your past. If you had a friend who’d experienced sexual assault at a young age, would you consider her sinful as she worked her way toward recovery? We all do the best we can and when we know better, we do better. It sounds like you’ve found a man who shares your values. Congratulations!! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am glad that you make many solid reference in your blog’s, this gives people a visual of what to search for and how it has helped you. You are teaching people that there is other platforms and ways to share your story, give testimony and witness to God’s goodness and favor, as well as let Christian voices be heard. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

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