2016 advice dating dating chronicles relationships

Choose Yourself

Guess what? Even at 41 women still wonder if a man does or doesn’t likes us. I’m so guilty of this. I didn’t worry about it when I was dating in my early 20’s? Why? Because I was young, hot and accomplished. I didn’t have time for men and their drama. I really practiced circular dating and dated a lot of men at once. Dated. That’s all.

Due to that there was never really a chance to get attached. Until one day my ex came in and made me notice him. I wanted to be attached. However, he didn’t play games. He laid claim to what he wanted and we began a relationship. That’s it. That’s all.

Now, how complicated is that?

Not very – if you ask me. But, it seems that it is when it comes to men dating in this day in age it seems impossible for him to commit. Commit to a relationship. Why is it so hard? It was harder graduating from college taking 24 credits and having to read 50 books that semester. A simple, “What are we doing? Are we in an exclusive relationship is like pulling teeth.”

Men say that they are simple until they demonstrate that they are not. I get it. I’ve been there. Done that. Still kinda doing that. So, what do you do when you feel like he won’t commit?

Whatever the hell you feel like doing!

Why? Because you’re not in a relationship. You owe this man nothing. If he can’t decide to say “Yes, you are mine and I’m yours” then no worries. Keep dating him, but date other people too. It doesn’t make you a hoe or a slut or whatever names that he wants to call you.

You are not attached to someone so why date them exclusively? If another man wants to take you to dinner, so be it. If another man wants to take you boating this weekend…go. Do whatever you want to do because it is about you boo.

I know what it feels like to think you’re waiting on him. My girlfriends and I have discussed this topic to no end. But, what I realized and accepted is this simple truth…you can’t make a man do what he doesn’t want to do.

It’s true.

So, until he’s ready you continue to live your life and just enjoy it. I know you’re probably saying “But, T. I REALLY LIKE HIM!” I get it sis! You do, but does that “like” entitle you to put your life on hold while he decides your future? Are you cool with playing his waiting game? If yes, then keep playing. No biggie. But, if no…keep dating. Keep enjoying life and having fun because trust me…when the man that is supposed to be with you shows up…then he will have no problem claiming you.

Smooches love!


  1. I am all for going to as many dates as possible up until you have a conversation on where you both see the relationship going. If we talk about exclusivity, then we both stop dating other people. If not…then the playing field is open on both ends. I haven’t dated in years so I am not talking from experience, but I do feel like that is how it should be,

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This makes lots of sense, Tikeetha! I think guys are pretty simple. It sucks when he doesn’t want to commit but whatever. Like you said, a woman shouldn’t stop enjoying her life for him. Despite ups and downs and a breakup, I’ve been with my boyfriend off and on for three years. I guess the game is still the same.

    Liked by 2 people

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