You Probably Need Therapy

I believe in therapy. I believe that there has been a mental shift in this country in how we really deal with our issues. In fact, we don’t deal with them. We walk around wearing masks like there is absolutely nothing wrong with us.

But, it is a lie.

There are things that are wrong with you.

There is something wrong with me.

There is something wrong with you.

There is something wrong with all of us.

Let’s stop pretending.

Did you know that 44% of Americans between the ages of 18-44 suffer from depression? It’s staggering, yet imaginable. The media isn’t helping. The weather isn’t helping. Life is just overwhelming some days.

The NIMH estimates that in the United States, 16 million adults had at least one major depressive episode in 2012. That’s 6.9 percent of the population. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression. It is a leading cause of disability.

That’s a lot of us that are depressed. Depression is common and many of us overlook it. I’ve suffered from depression and I’m pretty sure that if you think back to life’s events that have affected you…you probably have too. Was there a death of a loved one? Divorce? Job loss?

I’ve seen therapists many times as an adult. It was in therapy that I realized that I suffer from anxiety. I knew that I had a way of processing that was different, but I couldn’t put my fingers on it. When I explained to my closest friends about my anxiety. They sighed and said “Yep, that’s it.”

My anxiety may not be as severe as other people, but it is something that I recognize and realized that I’ve passed down to Munch. It’s difficult to find the words to encourage my baby to stop worrying about things and as my grandma used to say “borrow tomorrow’s troubles”. He is anxious. He’s 9. He shouldn’t worry.

But, he got it honestly. I worry A LOT. I’m just learning to let things go and not let them stress me out. Through friends and my absolutely fabulous therapist, I’m learning to process what I need too and disregard the rest of the noise. This is part of why I’ve been sharing my self-preservation and the power is within you posts.

I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m accepting that I don’t have all the answers. That I can’t figure it out all by myself. I needed help. I’m getting it.

We have to stop stigmatizing mental health issues. I know in the black community we don’t seem to believe in therapy. We believe that you can pray your way out of anything. Including mental health.

This is not true.

Prayer helps and I believe that God hears all and sees all. But, how can you hear God if you’re hearing voices because you have schizophrenia? You can’t.  It’s impossible.

Now, ya’ll know that I think all black people need three things: Jesus, wine and therapy. We have to stop labeling mental health issues as crazy and start supporting and encouraging our love ones (and ourselves) to get the help we need. It’s about time we stop promoting the strong black woman bulls*it and just promote healthy minds for a healthy you.

It’s time to take care our mental health and spirit too.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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#NationalTeachersDay

Today is National Teacher’s Day and I wanted to publicly thank all you wonderful teachers out there. Today is a day where you should be honored. Honored for all the hard work that you do. The countless hours spent on lesson planning and making sure that you are providing both knowledge and life skills to the little minds you teach. I thank you.

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I thank you as a former student of some wonderful teachers. Teachers that encouraged me to go after my dreams. Teachers that stayed late after school to tutor me or came in early to make sure I understood the lesson. Teachers that made me believe that I could learn anything. You are truly appreciated.

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I thank you as a mother to a wonderful little boy that has learned the value of who he is by your continued support and encouragement in the classroom. Having no prior foreign language experience, you create an environment where he is learning French. Your wishes for him have come true and he is learning by leaps and bounds. He is both confident and fluent in French and I thank you.

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I thank you as the daughter of an educator. It is sometimes a thankless job to teach children that seem disconnected, but if you continue to encourage them and create a spark of interest you will realize that their flame of knowledge is burning. They listen. They know that the future will be brighter because you took the time to invest in them.

May your day be as wonderful and encouraging as you!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Wisdom Wednesday – 3/22/17

Just thought I would send you some encouragement today. I wanted to share these words that resonated with me this morning in my meditation.

#1:  Never give up – You were meant for greatness…

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#2:  Remember where you come from and that a wise man or woman never stops learning…

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#3.  Choose your circle wisely. There is nothing wrong with cleaning house from those who don’t wish you well…

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#4.  Don’t get caught up worrying about your “haters”. Focus on following your intuition…

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I hope these photos encourage you to keep going through whatever you’re going through and know that the situation you find yourself in is only temporary. We can’t let our obstacles overwhelm and obscure our views of the shore. We have to keep rowing. Perseverance and persistence are the friends to faith. Let’s keep our heads up.

 

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/13/2017

My Motivational Monday Moment is inspired by a conversation that I had with a male friend who said that he seems to meet a lot of women with no self-esteem. I asked him to explain. He said that so many women that he meets have been dealing with whack dudes that they have no idea of what should and shouldn’t be accepted. My heart broke a little.

Why?

Because these are my sisters. They need to stop accepting anything less than they are worth from men. They need to learn the value in self-worth.

self-worth (n)
the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.

Self-worth is the Motivational Monday Moment that I want to examine. Self-worth is the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect. Dang. That’s pretty deep, right?

Self-worth is how we feel about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves translates into what we are willing to accept, how we dress and how we think. It is the very essence of who we are as women. If we feel that we are trash then it is reflected in our appearance, in our behavior and in our relationships.

We put up with stuff. Not good stuff. Bad stuff.

We run away good men dealing with our own issues and then we keep falling for the same men because we don’t believe that we deserve better. We are so desperate for anything that we accept less than we’re worth thinking that it is better than nothing. Umm, that’s a lie.

Peace of mind is the most invaluable commodity you could have. My momma told me a long time ago “You can’t put a price tag on peace of mind.” I understood that when I became an adult and got married. Your mind is a powerful tool and if you don’t have self-worth, you convince yourself that you are unworthy.

There are those that want to hide and act like they are in control and convince us that it is all good. They have have a man. They are okay with only night visits, STD’s, lies and violence. They try to sell us on the brand of crack that they’ve been smoking so long (its name is delusion) to tell us that they are okay. They love themselves.

No, you don’t.

It’s time to stop lying to us because truthfully, we don’t matter. You matter. Stop lying to yourself. Stop defining yourself by someone’s opinion of who you are.

Let me tell you something…

Come closer to the screen…

You are a beautiful child of God.

You are loved.

You are wanted.

You are valuable.

You need to know that man can never make you happy unless you are happy with yourself. You need to take a time out sis. You need to heal.

You need to love yourself.

You need to invest in a healthy mindset.

You need to invest in you.

No one deserves to be disrespected. No one deserves to be abused. No one deserves to get cussed out. No one deserves STD’s. No one.

Not even you.

Whatever is in your mind that has you thinking you deserve this treatment I need you to get rid of it. Stop that negative thinking. Get help. Get professional help.

Not just your girlfriends.

Talk to a professional to find out what it is that allows you to be able to take disrespect from men. Get to the root cause of your issue. Strengthen your self-esteem. Know what you’re worth.

Believe it.

Two truths that I want to leave you with…

  1. A man will treat you how you allow him to treat you.
  2. Real men don’t want weak women. Weak women don’t know their self-worth.

It’s the truth love. You deserve to know it. You need to understand it. You need to evaluate your situation and know that only you can change the outcome of your life. You control your destiny. You are more valuable than you know.

I believe it.

I just need you to believe it.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Remembering I’m Enough

I am enough. That was one of the hardest things that I had to tell myself. As someone who is extremely self-confident, I seemed to lose it when I got married. He became bigger than me. Not because he wanted too or even asked me to. It was me. My choice. I thought that’s what you do when you get married. You sacrifice yourself for the greater good of the marriage.

But, I was wrong. Marriage is much more than that. How can one be expected to have a healthy and functioning relationship when you’re jacked up mentally? If you lose a piece of yourself in the process of attaching yourself to someone else, how can you be expected to know that you’re enough?  Truth is…you can’t.

I couldn’t. I didn’t. Because I was broken. Broken people can’t seem to realize that their enough. Life and storms knock you out and you feel as though you are drowning. You can’t swim. Why did this have to happen to you? Why not? This was the question that I truly had to answer. Was I above trials and tribulations? I knew from church and prayer that the road wouldn’t be easy, but dang. I couldn’t drive over those spikes without getting a flat.

Until I realized that at least I have the ability and tools in my car to fix and repair that flat. I didn’t have to drive on that flat tire, damaging the rim. I could pull over and keep repairing the tire or use the spare. You see it right? The Aha Moment…I could do it. My attitude towards my situation and life’s circumstances had to change just like that tire or my soul would be damaged.

I realized that I deserve to be forgiven and I deserve to forgive because I’m enough. Knowing and believing that you are enough in the midst of difficult situations can impact your self-esteem in a major way. You doubt the little things. You act out because you feel like you’re not enough.  But, balance is what I’ve learned. Faith renewed. Spiritual growth. They happen when you stop acting out and expecting everyone to fix or understand the messed up you.

Once you start to grow and walk with the confidence you truly have, it shows. People can see the light in your eyes when you genuinely laugh. They notice your change in hair color or clothes. They notice that effervescent smile plastered all over your face. They want to know what it is it about you. You were broken and messed up last time they saw you. What changed? You know what you tell them?

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

My Top 12 Posts for 2016

I wanted to share my top 12 posts of 2016. It’s been a great 2016 and I’m thankful for the growth this blog has seen, but mainly for all of you who choose to follow me. If you’re new to the blog or a regular follower, here’s a chance to catch my most read posts:

  1. Welcome December 2016! A post welcoming us to the last month of 2016. What goals did you complete? What didn’t you complete? There’s still time.
  2. Dear White People A post about race relations from a black mother. We have to work together to stop racism. Please stop being or saying that you’re color blind.
  3. Pimping for Likes A post about people who blog just to get likes and increase their stats. Are you pimping for likes?
  4. Random: Munch Eats Too Much A post about my growing boy. He’s eating me out of house and home. Is there really such a thing as growth spurts?
  5. New Woman? Possible Wife? A post about my ex husband’s new girlfriend and our first meet and greet.
  6. Monday Motivation My first post in trying to motivate us for the week ahead. I started really enjoying motivating both you and I.
  7. Closed My first post about the divorce being finalized and what it felt like. All those years of marriage ended. The dissolution of my marriage closed that chapter of my life.
  8. A Tired Black Woman A post about the negative attitudes of some black men and how it’s exhausting as a black woman. We must stop separating ourselves and working collectively for our future.
  9. The Wait A post about me and Mr. C’s decision to wait on having sex until marriage and the book that was released after deciding this. I still owe you a review of this book which will be forthcoming in January. We’re still waiting.
  10. Real Talk: You Chose Him A post about parenting when you’re no longer with your partner. A lot of women decide to play games and keep the children from their father or using them as a pawn because they are mad at the man. The reality is that we chose our child’s parents so we need to get over it.
  11. You Finally Got It Girl A post about what I learned at 41 about life and love. Sometimes accepting ourselves is the hardest thing we can do. But, when we discover our worth…we become unstoppable.
  12. First Crush A post about my son’s first crush and the things he was doing. Just to let you know he still loves the girl even though he doesn’t see her because he’s at a new school. Aw, young love though.

 

Well, that’s my top 12 posts of 2016. I hope that you enjoyed reading what I loved writing and I hope you will stay on this journey with me. I’m a mom. I’m a girlfriend. I’m a sister. I’m a woman. I’m a blogger.