“Hurt” and “pain” are communicable diseases that can go undetected for years before
a person seeks help.
Some of us are carriers and don’t even know it. We hop into the dating pool, or, we get into a relationship thinking that we are ready, when we are not. Then, we choose the same “type” of person and get hurt every-single-time. Or, we exude a certain type of energy that attracts the wrong (or the same type) of person. As result, yielding the same outcome over-and-over again.
Denial is running rampant
There are 7 reasons why we’re single, and no matter how many times we blame the opposite sex, the common denominator is you.
To make matters worse, what do we do next? We project, blame, and/or live in denial.
“When you refuse to look in the mirror and face the truth, I call that denial. You can deny the truth about why you’re single, consciously, or subconsciously. Meaning, you lie to yourself, and others, but you know what you’re saying isn’t true (conscious). Or, you lie to yourself and others, but you truly believe what you’re saying is true (subconsciously).”
So what’s next?
Meanwhile, you keep on dating and infecting other people with that hurt and pain.
Sometimes you infect people who are are building up their strength to get back out
there. Sometimes it’s people who have open wounds (which are the easiest to infect). Other times it’s the same sex. Women infecting women, or men infecting other men, with bitter and resentful feelings about the opposite sex.
Why spread the hurt and pain to others?
You’re hurting, and it feels good to know people around you feel the same as you do (misery loves company). You haven’t truly forgiven from the heart, you’ve only forgiven in your mind (you may not have done that either). Consequently, you’re still holding onto the pain and hurt others have inflicted on you.
As I stated in my post about forgiveness…
Although it should be mandatory, forgiveness is a choice.
It can be very difficult to forgive someone who has hurt you. You may even want those who aggrieved you, to feel the pain you feel. Forgiveness isn’t about being, [fair.] It’ about being, [free], and it definitely isn’t about spite. When we don’t forgive, we indirectly punish those who don’t deserve it. In the meantime, we are still connected to the person who initially caused us pain. Consequently, they still have power over us because, they anchor to the lowest depths of our emotions.
Media doesn’t exactly help your cause
I see it every day in the way we post, talk, and interact. Also in the songs we listen to, and the TV shows we watch. When you’re hurting, and in pain, you listen to songs that apply to your current situation. You also tend to click on articles, and social media posts that more associated with what you’re going through. Especially the posts that invite negativity about the opposite sex.
Negative posts, television shows, and/or music all contribute to your mental state. You may not know it, but you are being suggested negative energy subliminally. The more you watch or listen, the more it impact you. Ever watch a movie for 2 hours and come out thinking negative? I have.
My advice? It’s simple, stay away from negative media. as a whole. In addition, surround yourself with positive people, go to positive places, and do positive things. Lastly, always be mindful of what you’re saying. Spoken words and affirmations are very powerful.
It’s finally time to heal
You will never find what you’re looking for until you heal. You will always look at
men and women in a “slanted” way until you seek help. You will always seek that
love from another, but they can’t heal you, they can only help you. The majority of the work must be completed by you.
I’ve been there…
I’ve been that hurt man infecting others. I had to first take a long break, so I could mentally breathe. Understanding where I was in life, who I was as a man, and what I deserve were a critical aspect of my growth. I also had to realize how I was impacting myself in a negative way, and what I truly needed in order to sustain my evolution going forward.
Most importantly, I had to learn to love myself first and foremost.
I encourage you to do the same.