Zappy

April 30

Today is the last day of the A to Z Challenge. Woohoo. I survived. It was hit or miss some days, but I made it.

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More importantly, today is Munch’s 10th birthday. I can’t believe that I have a child in the double digits.

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It’s been an amazing journey these last few years. This little boy who was determined to survive in my womb regardless of all the things going on around him has proved that his spirit is unbreakable. I remind him of that.

He’s a fighter.

When I thought I had lost him and when I got to sick to continue being pregnant he fought. He was my God send. Ten years later I still feel the same way.

He woke up zappy this morning. I fixed him his birthday breakfast and added a candle to his fruit. He loved that. He asked for breakfast in bed next year. LOL. I’m taking orders now. As we drove to school he asked that I call the school and ask them to make an announcement that today is his birthday. Really?

Only my child. He has to be the center of attention. I am still glowing from birthday kisses and birthday hugs that made my day just as special.

We celebrated all weekend and with each passing moment, I was even more in awe that I am raising an incredible young man. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s the best thing I ever did. I guess I can’t say he’s still my baby, but he will always be that to me.

This post was part of the A2Z challenge and the letter “Z” is for Zappy. My posts were written as a journal style for the challenge on the theme: Mothering While Black. I hope you enjoyed it.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter@mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram pagehttps://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Reblog: Mutterings of a Four Year Old

Here’s another great post about things Munch used to do and say when he was 4. He is still a hilarious kid, probably not as pushy. But, he’s mine.

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It’s been a full three weeks since we took Munch’s binky away.  Can you believe that he hasn’t asked for it at all?  I was so shocked that when I told my mom, she couldn’t believe it.  She had me convinced that Munch would need a “binky patch” similar to a nicotine patch to break his addiction for his binky.  But, thankfully he didn’t.

I attribute this success to the fact that I didn’t succumb to the pressure of other folks (doctors, dentists and people who don’t know my son) by telling me to take it away now.  Munch wasn’t ready.  I prepared this take-away by announcing it on a regular basis, that you’re going to be four and when you’re four, you can’t suck a binky because binky’s are for babies.  I think more than anything, that he finally figured it out and accepted that he was too old for his binky and that he really didn’t need it.

So, since it’s been almost a month since he turned four, I decided to share some of his mutterings, stories and sayings.  Munch has always been a child who knows what he wants, but sometimes it can stress even the most sane parent when he goes on and on.  You will see.  Here are a few of our stories:

When getting Munch ready for bed…

“Mommy, look at my wee-wee.”  I replied, “It’s a penis Munch, not a wee-wee.” He restated, “No, it’s a wee-wee.”  I looked at him and said again “It’s a penis Munch, not a wee-wee.” He said “No, it’s a wee-wee.” Not willing to engage in a back and forth, I asked “What’s wrong with it Munch?”  He replied, “It looks like a brown crayon.”

When learning to share…

“Munch, you need to learn to share your stuff.  Don’t make people ask you for something.  You need to offer to share first.” Munch looked at me and said, “But, Mommy I don’t want to share. It’s mine and why can’t they get their own.”

When asking me where I’m going…

“Mommy, where are you going?” “No where Munch”  I replied. Five minutes pass and he asks, “Mommy, where are you going?” “No where Munch” I replied again. Five more minutes pass and he asks again, “Mommy, where are you going?” Frustrated I respond “No where Munch and you better not ask me again where I’m going or I will leave.” He looks at me and then turns to his dad and asks, “Daddy, where is Mommy going?”

Munch and the gift

Munch is now at the point where he loves how you react to him when he makes something for you.  Well, for Mother’s Day, he painted the most beautiful picture at day care.  I told him  how much I loved the picture and I was going to get it framed.  I told him thank you so much and he started to cry because I loved it so much.

The next day, he went to church school.  They had his class create Mother’s Day cards for their moms.  Munch handed me the card when I came to pick him up.  I smiled and said, “It was the most beautiful card I had ever received and thank you.”  He said, “Mommy, it’s a present for you.  I made a present for you.”  I said, “Thank you love.”  Over the next four days, Munch would repeatedly say, “Mommy, it’s a present for you.  I made a present for you.”  He said it a total of 35 times.  I would reply, “I know sweetheart.  It’s beautiful.  Thank you.”  Well, when he said it for the 36th time, I said, “Munch, I know you made the beautiful card for me.  I love it.  But, if you tell me one more time that you made a present for me, I’m going to scream.”  He looked at me and then turned to his dad and said, “Daddy look!  I made a present for Mommy.”  My husband laughed and said, “Son, it’s beautiful.”

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Baby

I smiled as I watched him sleep. He was deep in dream land. Not worrying about the problems of the day. He smiled in his sleep. It was the most beautiful thing.

He was no longer my baby. He was a grown man. Thankful that he had come home for a visit before shipping off with the Navy. I closed his bedroom door.

I was feeling melancholy. Life had gone by so fast and my beautiful brown baby was now a man. Where had time gone? I wished for days of vomit and dirty diapers. Of sleepless nights and doctor’s appointments.

I sat there looking through his baby pictures and smiling. His first night home was one of pure amazement. I stayed up all night fighting sleep just to watch my baby sleep. I needed to make sure he was okay. I refused to rest.

His attempts at nursing were hilarious and painful. He refused to latch on and the pout that he made as he shut his mouth tightly always made me smile. His baby scent was the most beautiful scent I ever smelled.

I flipped the pages of the photo album looking at the first birthday photos, first day of school photos, dances and annual family photo shoots. He was a handsome child. I smiled and closed the book. I felt peace because even though my son was a grown man now sleeping soundly in the next room…he would always be my baby.

 

This post is part of the Daily Post. Today’s word was baby.

Munch Love

Being a mother is how I truly learned to love. Today’s post is about my son whom I affectionately call Munch. I wanted to tell you why I love this little kid so much.

There are many reasons that I love this little 8 year old boy. But, I wanted to share 3 of them with you now. I hope I can explain in words all that this little boy means to me.

  1. First, this little boy can always make me feel better. No matter how bad my day is or how I feel like giving up, I know I can’t. Just by looking at me with his big brown eyes and smiling. I instantly feel the warmth and love and know that nothing matters more than being in this moment with him. Last month, I got some difficult news and I was really distraught. I was so angry and hurt and I felt lost. I allowed myself the normal 72 hours to bemoan my situation and then remember that my help comes from Jesus. It was difficult though. But, Munch is my reason for never wanting to give up. No matter how hard the situation or life appears, I have to keep going. His concern for me and others make me love him even more each day.
  2. Second, Munch is a child that doesn’t like change. That’s been one of the hardest things for me. When his dad and I divorced, he would always say “But, you are my family. If you’re divorcing does this mean that I have no more family?” Wow! He was only 5.  We would reassure him that we are still family. We just won’t be married or living together. I think he understood. But, over the years he’s been able to adapt better than I can imagine. His ability to adapt despite adversity is another reason that I love this boy.
  3. Third, Munch’s need for affirmation of his success is endearing. One of the things that I never heard from my mother while growing up was how proud she was of me. I never heard it. I guess you could say you should’ve assumed it, but is that realistic for a child? Nope. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in college and I was walking across campus and a maintenance woman stopped me to say hi. She told me that your mom is so proud of you. She’s always reading the student paper to see what you’re doing as part of this organization or what you’re talking about. She brags about you a lot. I was floored. I never heard that. I was almost 20 and and I didn’t know she was proud of me. However, I knew that when I had children that I would acknowledge their successes often. Praise them for their accomplishments no matter how small so that if I should ever have to discipline them, they know that I don’t think the worst of them. I’ve done that since becoming a mom. I celebrate every milestone and give words of encouragement and accolades for everything and anything. He loves it and his need for affirmation of his accomplishments may seem troublesome, but I love it. I love celebrating him.

I love being a mom and my son makes me love it even more. Motherhood changed me. He changed me. I’m proud to say that my first #loveuary is for my son.

Who do you love? Tell me about it. Better, yet if you would like to blog about it, Ritu is hosting a #loveuary challenge. Please head over to her page and check it out.

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Day 4: Seven Days of Thankfulness

My Monday Motivational Moment is wrapped up into my seven days of thankfulness. I am thankful for moments. I know you’re probably wondering, what moments, so let me break it down for you.

Moments that happen in our lives are meant to reveal things to us. Some good and some bad. But, it is in those moments that we discover who we really are and who someone really is. Things are revealed like a curtain being pulled back and us finding out that there is no real wizard. We see things and people for who they are.

I’m thankful for those moments. They have helped shaped me. I continue to discover new things both good and bad about myself and those I interact with, but I tell you that it is in those moments that I grow stronger. There is strength in discovering the truth about people and situations.

Moments matter. Enjoy them. Cherish them. Understand them. I am thankful for those moments that defined who I am and what I’m meant to be.

Little Wins

Monday I walked into aftercare to pick up Munch to take him to soccer practice. He runs, gives me a hug and I lean down to kiss him and smile. He grabs his stuff and I’m listening to my girlfriend talk and he interrupts…”Mommy, who are you talking to? Mr. C? My daddy? Auntie Nikki?” he questioned. “None of your business Munch. Stop checking my call log and remember you’re 7 and I’m 41” I told him.

I laughed and realized that my son is now starting to pay attention to me and everything I do. I don’t know when this happened, but me noticing it now puts me in a different position to make sure that everyone knows that my child is in the car when having conversations and that I stop talking when he walks into a room. He’s now interested in my life. When did that happen?

After soccer practice, I headed to McDonald’s to grab him dinner and he asked, “Wow, you’re going to get me McDonald’s?” “Yes, Munch. I don’t feel like cooking. I’m cooking tomorrow and Wednesday so this is the only meal you will eat out” I replied. “Okay, Mommy” he said. He then said something that made me smile. He said “Mommy, I just can’t tell you how much I love. I love you so very much. You’re the best mommy in the world and I’m so lucky to have you.”

I love that. Little things. Little wins.

Moments

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One of my favorite quotes. I haven’t had many breath taking moments by many people’s estimations, but I’m thankful for those that I have had (both good and bad). So, my #favorfriday message is to be thankful for the moments that have taken your breath away.

Here are 22 of my breath taking moments:

  1. My first “real” kiss. Was sweet and reminded me of the simplicity and softness of lips.
  2. My first love. Was wonderful. Showed me that I’m beautiful both inside and out.
  3. My acceptance of Christ as my personal savior and baptism. It showed me that there is nothing that can separate me from Him.
  4. My first heartbreak. Was needed. Prepared me for the reality that life is not fair.
  5. My participation in a beauty pageant. I was scared as heck and couldn’t walk in heels, but it taught me how to smile through the uncomfortable situations.
  6. My graduation from high school. I was free. I was legal. I was going to travel the world.
  7. My graduation from college. Showed me that I could actually be committed to something for four years. It was hard.
  8. My first job. Taught me that I could be a great assistant while figuring out what I want to do with my life. I started from the bottom and didn’t mind.
  9. My first and only time filing a restraining order against a boyfriend. Because it showed me that in the midst of terror, I was still strong enough to survive a judge questioning me in courtroom full of other people.
  10. My marriage. Taught me that I can do anything. Good, bad or indifferent. My wedding day was perfect.
  11. My pregnancy. Taught me that I am strong. The illnesses that plagued me during my pregnancy didn’t break me. I prayed harder than I ever knew possible.
  12. My delivery. Taught me that I love my anesthesiologist. He didn’t paralyze me when he gave me my spinal. I felt no pain. All was good.
  13. My son’s cry. Showed me that God has favor over me yet again.
  14. My separation. Showed me that even in the midst of my pain, if I go to the throne of grace, it will get better.
  15. My reparation with my dad. Showed me that even the most dysfunctional and broken person needs love and to be forgiven. Just like God forgives me.
  16. My girlfriends. Remind me that I am incredible. Beautiful, smart and deserving of happiness.
  17. My family. Reminds me that we are sometimes cracked up and crazy, but there is no other place I would ever want to be.
  18. My heart. Shows me that I am deserving of love because I have a beautiful beating instrument inside.
  19. My head. Reminds me to never just follow it, examine everything and pray for guidance.
  20. My accepting Public Displays of Affection (PDA’s) allowed me to see what others see. I’m a beautiful woman deserving of attention and affection. I like PDA’s.
  21. My writing. Allowed me to bond with people in different parts of the country that see me as a kindred spirit. They appreciate what I write. I am immensely grateful.
  22. My current job. Reminded me that I can have it all. Both motherhood and career and still be happy.

These are merely a few and I have many more that may not be appropriate to share in cyberspace. LOL. But, know this…I love to live in the moments. I’m grateful for them because if you’re lucky, some may just take your breath away (in a good way).

I Have My Moments

A couple of weeks ago, I posted this on Facebook:

From the mommy diaries…I’m gonna pat myself on the back because I rock. After taking care of munch with his respiratory infection this week, missing work, missing his homework and not having time to write, I was able to Google translate his French homework packet in 2.5 hours last night, email the teacher with questions I didn’t understand, go to work today, knock out 2 of the 12 items due, pay bills, order his halloween costume, pay for Tae Kwan Do, order Chipotle for dinner, pick him up, eat and help him with 2 hours worth of homework to have him in bed by 9 pm because tomorrow is another busy day with the start of church school. Whew! ‪#‎momsrock‬ ‪#‎mommymoment‬‪#‎brennansmom‬

As many of you may have guessed, I have a supermom attitude when it comes to my son. That week, I was super proud of all the things I was able to accomplish in the limited amount of time with a sick child. I want to make sure that I am not only giving munch my best, but being the best with juggling motherhood and working. But, I have to admit it does get exhausting.

Why do I do it? Part supermom complex. Part insanity. I’m an overachiever when it comes to my son. I want to show the world that you can have it all. I struggle to make sure that my son never feels neglected by me (physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.). So, I am the mom who does custom holiday cards (complete with a fall photo shoot) and all. I send thank you cards, teach church school, attend Bible studies, attend PTSA meetings, update his website, blog, write my own book, order uniforms, buy new outfits for school pictures, take him to swimming, soccer, bake cakes, do play dates and attend every birthday party we’re invited too. Why? Because I’m crazy. That’s probably the simplest and best answer I can provide.

If I don’t do it, I feel like I’m somewhat being an underachiever and cheating munch out of opportunities that I didn’t have as a child being raised by a single parent. I feel guilty. I wanted him so much, but I want a career too so in order to make sure there is balance, I want to do it. I need to do it. But, doing it all exhausts me. It leaves me feeling drained and not having enough time to enjoy myself. It’s that whole supermom complex.

How bad is it? Well, this year I wanted to sign him up for cub scouts and went to the first meeting with him and his dad. He loved it! I learned all the wonderful things that the kids do and then I also learned all the things that the parents are expected to do as well. This was a heavy parent involvement chapter. I was cool with it. So, another 3 hours a week of more stuff to do? Sure, No problem. I can handle it. But, not everyone was up for the challenge.

His father had sent an email and said that he didn’t think he should do cub scouts now because he’s being over scheduled. I responded “Bye, Felicia! He’s not being over scheduled. He’s fine.” I huffed, you don’t know what you’re talking about. Supermom can handle it. Right?

Well, I could handle it or so I thought until munch got sick with a respiratory infection and I was out of work, in and out of the doctor’s office and nursing my six year old. I was tired. No school. Well, when you’re in a French Immersion program, you need to be at school. Missed days equal missed learning opportunities. We had to play catch-up. In my exhausted state, I sent an email back to his dad and said, “I think you may have a point in no cub scouts yet. While I disagree that he’s being over scheduled, he has a lot going on and school has always been our main priority and focus. That being said, I will wait until later in the year.”

Yep, I sucked it up and bit the bullet and realized that sometimes life will throw you a curve ball and you need to adjust. You need to regroup and refocus your priorities. I refocused and realized that the most important thing in the world to me is a happy and healthy child. It’s my number one priority. So, I have my moments of clarity that remind me that I don’t need to do it all or be it all. Munch will be just fine.

This is one of those moments.