I believe love is multifaceted. There’s love for family, love for children, love for people, and love for your partner.
I don’t know everything about love
One thing that I do know…
Love is always apparent, transparent and never a conundrum.
Love is a white blood cell that seeks out the virus that is hatred, anger, resentment, bitterness, envy, fear, and eradicates them.
Love isn’t roses for a day, it’s my word, my bond, my honesty and my heart for life.
Love is sacrifice… love is giving selflessly without thoughts of reciprocation.
Love is a lifetime, being in-love is a moment in that lifetime.
Love doesn’t take our breath away, it breathes life into you.
Love is thoughtfulness, note-taking, memorization of your partner’s needs and wants.
Love is writing your name on a piece of paper but changing the last name to your partner’s last name.
Love is proactive, it doesn’t wait… because love is like that orgasm that you can’t hold… it needs to be great.
Love isn’t petty. Love isn’t spiteful.
Love is honest expression when it hurts to say.
Love has conquered more people than Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Tamerlane, and Genghis Khan put together. Love is ruthless in that way.
From the hardest of hearts, to the most stubborn of minds, love finds a way.
So many people say… “Love is not enough.” We made love not enough.
Love is easy… we make it complex with all our lists, standards, expectations, preferences, and the lot. We call that love, that’s not love. Love is something we forgot.
Love was apparent when we were kids. We just didn’t recognize it. But it was easy… it was truly organic in its creation. It was trying to make your girlfriend smile just because you liked her. It was secret kisses, letters passed throughout class. It was phone calls where you stayed up until the wee hours of the morning until one of you (if not both of you) fell asleep.
That’s what love looks like to me. No makeup, no accessories, no taper, just raw, unmitigated passion for the other person in their purest form
On this Valentine’s Day, I wish you all the best in your current or future love.
I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re in a relationship or single know that you are loved. Today is like any other day except you will see a lot more red and pink. It’s endearing though.
I happen to be in a relationship with a wonderful man. I lovingly refer to him as Mr. C. He is the essence of goodness and warmth and love. He really does make me a better person and I always tell him that he is the better of us two. He’s kind, patient and generous.
Mr. C and I had a beautiful time celebrating our Valentine’s Day this past weekend. He has to work tonight which is perfect as I don’t enjoy going out on Valentine’s Day. He sent me the most beautiful roses and chocolate covered strawberries and we had an amazing date. Last night we had dinner at one of our favorite spots, but Mr. C wasn’t feeling well. He’s sick.
As a person that sometimes tries to find new and quirky ways to give gifts for this holiday, I did something different this year. I told him that we each had $20 to spend and we had to get everything from Five Below.
You should have seen me trying to figure out what I could get my love for $20.00. It was an adventure. But, it all worked out. I was able to get him four great gifts for $5.00 each and drop them in a gift bag I already owned. I added a card and 4 balloons so the total was more like $25.97. Pretty cool huh?
It wasn’t about the cost of the gifts it was more that I love doing different things. He shows me that he loves me all year through and I’m thankful for it all. Munch smelled the roses that Mr. C gave me as I put them in the vase. He said “Did your boyfriend buy you roses?” I laughed and replied “Yes, he buys me flowers often and just because.”
I think that’s the point of it all right? Love each other every day. Each and every day as though it were your last. Love unselfishly. Love often and don’t give up on love.
In Lieu of Valentines day, and for those of us who are still single—it’s time to get un-single or at least find a date (in less than 24 hours).
Let’s talk about the Direct messenger. Also known as, “the DM,” or, “getting in-boxed.” The most notable Direct Messenger is the stand alone Facebook app. There are others that exist such as, WhatsApp, WeChat, Snapchat, Kik, QQ, Skype, Viber and LINE. I choose to speak about Facebook Messenger because it’s directly connected to your Facebook app. Which is, needless to say, the most powerful social network in the world. The others are popular, but do not compare to Facebook Messenger.
Yes, Facebook is the devil. (I’m kidding).
Messenger is notorious for spammers, scammers, married people seeking side relationships (side piece) outside their spouse, people in relationships seeking a threesome, people in relationships seeking someone outside their partner (without their partners knowledge of course). And finally, people seeking relationships with a complete stranger or someone on their friends list. Which is, completely harmless.
That being said, I don’t want to talk about the negative aspect of the direct messenger. Let’s talk about all the features, positive experiences and stories that have come from a simple acknowledgement of a Direct Message.
It Goes Down In The DM
What does that mean? It means, “embrace the direct messenger.” Be open to the possibilities that a simple direct message can bring you. I get it, you don’t know this person in-boxing you. They are not on your friends list, you have no mutual friends. So who are they? Is their page fake? “Let’s go look.” “he has 1000 friends and a few recent posts people have responded too.”
Instead of engaging him, you ignore him. Why? His message was respectful. He introduced himself, told you upfront that you didn’t know each other and had no affiliation, but he saw you on a public Facebook post and wanted to ask about you. Sounds like a decent introduction to me. And what’s the worse that can happen? It’s not like he’s a TV repairman turned death row criminal that will come through your internet modem and kill you. It’s an online experience. If you don’t like what has to say, it’s as easy as, “close and block.” Stop ignoring those DM pings. You know you see that message notification. If you are curious to see if someone has messaged you that is not on your friends list, go to your filtered message (message requests) inbox. You will probably find a few people who tried to reach out to you.
By The Numbers
It’s important for you to understand just how many users on Facebook designate as single. Now compare that against the users in a relationship or involved (it’s complicated).
The below data states there were 669,600,000 active Facebook users designated as single as of, September 7th of 2016.
That’s a lot of single people on one website. Of course there’s a percentage of those users that are not single, but are designated as single. But let’s just say that percentage is 20%. That still leaves 535,680,000 single people on Facebook, and you only need to meet 1. Also, there’s a high possibility that of those 535,680,000 users that at least 10 of them will reach out to you at some point during your time on Facebook. 1 of those 10 might be your future mate. So the odds are definitely in your favor. But not if you don’t embrace your DM.
Oh yeah… As of April 2016 The Facebook Messenger had 900 million active users. By July 2016 the number was 1 billion.
Consequently, you have a better chance meeting someone on Facebook for free, by simply letting it, “go down.”
What do you have to lose?
A Different Perspective On the Direct Messenger
Right now you’re giving this article the side-eye. Like…”I can’t.” Really? Think about it. If you’re single, there’s high chance that you have been on a dating site. Or at least visited one before because you were curious. Dating sites are about as random as they come. At least with Facebook, some of the random people who reach out to you with romantic interests have mutual friends or connections. On dating sites, the meetings are completely random no matter how much they say they’re, “matching,” you. That being said, if you can go to a dating site and spend time setting up a profile, sourcing through profiles and responding direct messages and emails (while paying). Why wouldn’t you try it on Facebook which is free as the air we breathe?
Free vs Paid… no-brainer right?
Direct Messenger Success
It doesn’t take much. A posted pic or comment and someone will be inspired to send a message that will potentially lead to a relationship. Success favors the bold. So….be bold!
Success happens a lot more often than you think. People will talk about all the DM horror stories and frighten off those of us who might be open a random message request, had we not listened to them in the first place. Block out all that interference and go for it!
But hey… you don’t have to listen to me… according to TheKnot.com, below is a real life example of how going outside your box and opening yourself up to something unconventional, can lead to happiness.
They Met On Facebook
THE COUPLE: Kendra Cowser, 30, and Sean O’Brien, 32 WHEN THEY MET: January 2010 WEDDING DATE: September 14, 2013
THEIR STORY: Kendra rarely friended anyone on Facebook other than people she knew, but in 2009 fate stepped in when Sean sent her a friend request. Although Kendra didn’t know him, he lived near her hometown of Galva, Illinois, and thought they might have mutual friends in common, so she accepted. None of his friends looked familiar though so she just let it go, until six months later when Sean started “liking” some of her photos. One night as she was packing up her apartment in Chicago getting ready to coincidentally head back to Galva, Kendra finally decided to satisfy her curiosity and message him. Sean responded immediately and they ended up writing back and forth all night. And then every day forward. It turns out Sean didn’t know her but she popped up in his list of people he might know. “I saw a cute girl and I wanted to add her,” he recalls. Both admitted that neither of them was planning on starting a relationship at the time, but it sure turned into one. Two days after Kendra was back in Galva, Sean was at her doorstep with a bottle of wine to celebrate meeting in person. In July 2012, Sean messaged her on Facebook (of course!) to ask her to go ring shopping—his way of proposing—and last September they threw a huge bash that their guests described as “the best wedding they’ve ever been to!”
It’s not hard, just proactively send a message or respond to one that comes into your inbox. I’d quickly vet them out. Check their page, make sure they have an acceptable amount of friends (No new pages). Check for mutual friends. Also, see if they have some public posts you can view. Click on a few pics, and go from there.
Today is the last day of the month. It is the shortest month. It was a good month in many ways. I met my goal of posting or sharing at least 30 times this month. I went home to Tennessee to see my dad. I had an awesome Valentine’s Day with my son and Mr. C and I had a wonderful belated Valentine’s Day. My son made honor roll again.
You know what else? I had more views to my little ole’ blog than ever before. I am truly humbled and thankful that people are viewing, commenting and following me. It really means a lot to me. I also learned some hard lessons that I will share with you in the coming weeks. Please bear with me.
However, despite disappointments, adversities and setbacks I’ve realized that February was good. It was a good month and I’m looking forward to March being just as good. I have a couple of projects that I need to finish including a couple of book reviews that I will be getting out in the next couple of weeks. I thank you for your encouragement, your patience and your wonderful posts that let me know that I am not alone.
You all are wonderful. February was good, but let’s make March better. Let’s get ready to step into Spring and clean up our houses: mentally, physically, financially and emotionally.
As today is the 14th of February and many of you are probably knee deep in your Valentine’s Day crushes, scavenger hunts, dinners and/or dessert I wanted to wish a Happy Valentine’s Day to my new valentine…Mr.C. I wrote these words for him…
How could you ever fall in love with a neurotic woman like me? My rules? My requirements? My unwillingness to see things beyond black and white?
I am me.
I am structured.
I am learning.
Learning how to let go. Learning how to see that things don’t always have to make sense. There is beauty in the unknown. Thank you for letting me see that.
Thank for for letting me grow in this space where you provide love and respect. Thank you for seeing my habits as cute and not weird and if you do see them as weird, thank you for loving them and me just the same.
Thank you for moments.
Moments that have taken my breath away. Moments spent with me and my son. Moments spent just cuddled up and watching a movie. They matter to me.
I think the best part of loving you is knowing that you see my scars from all the trauma and love me. You see them as beautiful. You see me as beautiful. You truly see me and for that I am thankful.
This post is part of Ritu’s #loveuary challenge. Check it out and link to it.
She had the greatest expectation for today. It was her first Valentine’s Day with her new boyfriend. They had been dating for 8 months. She was happy. He was a great guy. It had been years since she felt this happy.
It was love.
She knew that it was only one day. But, one day that was about love. She didn’t expect flowers, diamonds or exotic trips. She just expected that he would show her his love. He hadn’t said he loved her. She’d been expecting to hear those words for the last four months.
That was when she told him that she loved him. It slipped out. She didn’t know how he’d react. He smiled. He kissed her. She was reassured of their connection.
But, she expected today to be the day. The day that he would utter the words she longed to hear. I mean who couldn’t resist saying I love you on Valentine’s Day? She smiled. She knew that he would tell her.
He sent her a beautiful text this morning that read:
Wake up sleeping beauty.
Happy Love Day my darling.
Can’t wait to see you tonight.
She sighed. Tonight would be the night. It would be special. She would hear him tell her. After their romantic date, she would make love to him and he would tell her that he loved her.
Words matter right? She needed to know that he loved her. She needed confirmation of all the time spent that it was real and that they were on the same page. She was expecting that tonight would be the night of many firsts.
She rolled out of bed to call him. The phone just rang. No answer. “Oh well” she thought. He must be busy. He’ll call later. She got up and got dressed. She still had to go to work.
She took extra care to dress beautifully since she wouldn’t have time after work to change for their date. She slipped on a beautiful red dress and her black pumps. Grabbed her black blazer and smiled. He would think she looked amazing.
She wanted to look amazing for him. She made sure to put her hair up into a loose bun and add minimal make-up. He liked her natural.
She got to the office and was swamped. All her team had called out and she was on overload with paperwork and phone calls. She looked up from the computer and realized it was noon and he hadn’t called her back. She called again.
She sent a quick text:
Happy Valentine’s Day baby!
I called twice. Are you okay?
Give me a call at work when you get a chance.
Can’t wait to see you tonight.
The phone rang.
Back to reality.
The day was unbelievably busy. It was a Tuesday. She expected it to be light, but oh was she wrong.
She looked at the clock on her computer. It was 5:00 pm and quitting time. She hadn’t heard back from him at all today. She began to worry. It wasn’t like him to not call. Something must be wrong.
She left work and headed to his house. She called his phone two more times and left messages that she was on her way. She was worried.
Panic set in. He could be dead. Lying on the floor. Trying to have called for help.
She needed to calm down. She didn’t know anything and her heart began to race. She parked across the street from his building and got out of the car.
She started walking swiftly to his building. She saw him get off the elevator and then turn. His back was to her. She walked into the building. She smiled. He wasn’t dead. He was alive.
He turned around and grabbed the hand of the other woman. He didn’t see her. She stopped.
He was looking at this woman as though she were the most beautiful woman in the world to him. They were in love. He kissed her finger. Her ring finger.
She saw that beautiful diamond. Shining and bright. This was his love. This is why he couldn’t tell her that he loved her. He loved another.
She didn’t expect this.
This post is brought to you by the Daily Post. The word was expectation.