Here’s an email that I sent to a male “friend”:
What do you define as a friend? Because in your opinion you’ve said that we are friends right? But, I have a question…how are we friends if we don’t spend time getting to know each other? I’m analytical right, so let’s talk numbers…
We’ve had 6 dates since April. It is now September. That’s 5 months. I’m going to estimate that we’ve spent 4 hours (averaging for longer dates) per date. That’s 20 hours in 5 months. There were 183 days in those 5 months at 24 hours per day which is 4,392 hours. So, out of 4392 hours I’ve spent 20 with you. That’s .004%.
But, I will do you a solid and add communication in there. In the beginning you averaged between texts and calls from March through July 6th about 2 hours per week. That’s about 110 hours. From July 7th through current it’s about 1 hour a week. It’s been 10 weeks so that’s another 10 hours. Let’s add those 110 hours, plus the 10 additional into your 20 for a total of 140 hours divided by the 4,392 and you get .03%.
How can we spend time getting to know each other when there are a whole lotta missed opportunities? You could call to see how work is going? How is the book coming? Did your son ever return back to school from the virus? Friends check-in. Not frequently, but more frequent than that in the beginning. Because we have to feed our friendship. Friendships are symbiotic. Give and take. Are we truly friends?