On the 4th Day of Christmas

What I received this year…

Vulnerability – I’ve always despised letting people in my heart. Whether friends, family or men that I’m in relationships with it sucks when someone hurts you so I’ve been unable to be vulnerable with people. I viewed vulnerability as a sign of weakness and I didn’t want to show anyone that I was weak. So, I never asked for help. Let people know that I was hurting or just that I needed them. It was easy to control the relationship if I didn’t give them a chance to hurt or disappoint me.

What I learned is that disappoint is a part of life and that you need people. It’s true. We are all interconnected and we need people to love us and support us. We have to start letting some of those dang walls down and burning some of those bridges. No one wants to be hurt but you can’t think like that. You have to know that you are meant to be loved and people want to love you if you just let them.

Sigh, I know it’s hard. I’ve been there. I am going through a situation and I burst out crying to a male friend of mine. I apologized for my outburst and said, “I’m sorry that I’m crying. It seems when I talk to you I start crying about all the frustrations that I have.” He responded, “It’s okay. I like that you can be vulnerable with me.” I was stunned. I wasn’t being vulnerable. Was I?

Yes, I was. And you know what? It’s okay. Sometimes we need to let people know that we are hurting and that we need their advice, love and just support to get through difficult times. I don’t always have to be strong. I want to be loved too.

Life is meant to be shared with the people that love us and trust me, we all have someone that loves us. You don’t think so? Well know that I love you. Why? Because you were intimately created by the one who loves me with all my faults and all. I received the gift of vulnerability.