I’m a Conqueror

I woke up this morning excited. I have been sick for the last week and a half and it felt good to be out and about and even back at work. I was pumped. Yes, I have some things that are going on. Some worries I’m working through. Some concerns that are on my mind, but I was thankful for another day. I woke up feeling like superwoman. I told myself, “Girl, today is a new day. Yesterday was the past and today is a gift. Be present in the moment and know that no matter what happens today you are incredibly blessed and highly favored.”

Even when it doesn’t seem like it, I need to remember that I am a conqueror and this too shall pass. So, my #motivationalmonday message is based off one of my favorite chapters in the bible: Romans. Romans 8:34-39 which reads:

“Who is to condemn? It is Christ Jesus, who died, yes, who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us.[a] 35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all day long;
we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

So, I want to tell you the same thing. You’re a conqueror. Nothing we can do will separate us from the love of Christ. Trust me (I’ve done some things I thought would separate me and He still loves me).

Listen to Estelle’s song “Conqueror” and tell me that you are not inspired. No matter who is counting you out. Estelle sings “I’d rather stand tall than live on my knees because I’m a conqueror and I won’t accept defeat.”

Neither should you. God has already determined that you will win, so love, know that it will happen.


When You Don’t Understand

“Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about Learning To Dance In The Rain.~ Vivian Greene

In my last post, I talked about loving the scary and trying to embrace your reactions when faced with scary situations or uncertain times.  I wanted to follow-up with my own testimony as to how it is working out for me…

Recently, I’ve made some decisions in my life that have been difficult, heartbreaking and gut wrenching to the core. I’ve tried to overcome these “scary situations” by putting on a brave face, crying, praying and trying to accept the decisions and pain of my choices.  I’m weathering the storm in my own self-imposed isolated valley of death (primarily because this is what it feels like to me).  I have felt alone and desolate in this valley and I’m struggling to get out of it.  It’s not a physical valley, but rather a mental one that I can’t seem to climb up.  I have been praying day in and day out for guidance on how to get over, under, around and through my situation with no success.  Now, hear me when I say this… I stay prayed up and I know that God has not forgotten me, but patience has never been my strong suit.  Even after being a mother for five years, I’m not a patient person.  I want the pain to end.  I want to know that God will just fix it now.  But, he hasn’t and I just realized why it’s okay that He hasn’t.

I’ve let my situation and my circumstances try to define me and how I handle my storm and move forward.  I can’t do this on my own and I know that God will not forsake me and he hasn’t forgotten me.  He sees all and knows all and He knows that I’m crying out in pain and I need Him.  My spiritual friend and pastor reminded me that I need to be still and be in prayer.  He told me that I’m doing and saying too much.  I responded, “I know, but it’s easier said than done.” He said, “I know, but God hears and heals all.”

But, let me try and testify to you for a minute on how God reminds me that He is still in control.  Literally, after I got off the phone with my pastor, I got on my knees crying and praying for God to send me a healing and got no response.  This was Wednesday night.  I felt dejected, exhausted and alone.  I climbed into bed and tried to unsuccessfully to get some sleep.  My spirit was restless and so was I yesterday, but when I tell you that God showed me a sign and I started to testify at work.  I went into the bathroom to cry and say thank you Jesus.  I get it.  I understand.  It happened when I was listening to Pandora on my cell phone and Smokie Norful’s “I understand” came on the radio.  I got it.  Read the lyrics below and you will too…

Sometimes I feel like giving up
It seems like my best, just ain’t good enough
Lord if you hear me, I’m calling you
Do you see, do you care,
All about what I’m goin’ through?

And then He said, 
One more day, One more step
See, I’m preparing you, oh, for Myself
And when you can’t hear My voice, please, trust My plan
I am the Lord, I see you, and, yes, I understand

But, sometimes I feel like I’m all alone
I’m just like a stranger so far from home
I feel like I’ve done all that I can do
Please Lord, give me strength
I’m just tryin’ to make it through
And that’s when he told me

(One more day) One more step, yeah
(One more step) Oh my child, I’m preparing you for Myself
And when you can’t hear My voice
Please just trust My plan
I am the Lord, I see you, and, yes, I understand

Oh, He knows just how much we can bear
And in the time of trouble He promised
He would always be there
Oh, I understand (I understand)
The Lord is telling you, yes, I understand
I am the Lord, I see you, and, yes, I understand

This is what he says…I am the Lord and I changeth not
I won’t forget nor have I forgot
You see everything works according to My plan
I am God, trust Me, I got the whole world in My hands

Oh, one more day, one more step
I’m preparing you, all for myself
I’m getting you ready, 
And if you can’t hear My voice, 
If you can’t hear me speaking, oh
Just trust My plan
Yeah, I’m the Lord, I love you, I see you and I understand

I’m the Lord, I see you and yes I understand
I am the Lord. I see everything you’re going through, yes
Every problem, every trial, every burden, every situation
I understand, I won’t leave you
Yeah, Yeah, I understand

It was if God was saying to me, I see you and all you’re going through and I understand because I promised that I would always be here for you.  He reminded me that he was preparing me. Wow! God is an awesome God and I’m blessed because of His promise to keep me in his arms and protect me from all harm.  He reminded me that when I’m in trouble He understands and will always be there for me.  

I’ve heard this song many times before, but I needed to remember that even when I can’t hear Him, I needed to trust his plan.  What plans?  I don’t know, but I know that it will start with me getting out of this valley and drawing closer to Him.  My life is not perfect.  I’m a sinner and sometimes I fall short in remembering that God’s grace applies to me too.  I will get through this in His time, not mine.  So, if you are a prayer warrior or believe that people need good wishes/luck, please add me to that list as I go through this journey.  I know that I will be battered, bruised and broken, but I promise that I will get up and I will survive because it is in God’s plan and will for me.  I understand.