MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT – 4/24/2017

It’s the last Monday of April and the last Motivational Monday Moment of the month. Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about being yourself. Love the real you. All the flaws and imperfections.  This is something that I used to struggle with a lot. I didn’t want to show my true self to anyone. Yes, I’m kind hearted. Yes, I’m a great friend. Yes, I am a lover of humanity, but I’m also afraid of being hurt. So, I hide my true self. I hide my flaws and imperfections.

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It’s something I’m learning to stop doing. I’m learning to be just me. I can be a brat. I can be emotional. I can be sensitive. I can be a mess sometimes. I own it. I’m no longer afraid to admit it. Last week, I got mad at Mr. C over something he said and I told him that he was being both arrogant and dismissive. He paused and said “Arrogant?” He explained his reaction and apologized, but he didn’t think he was being arrogant. I disagreed.

I wanted to get off the phone. My feelings were hurt. He was cool with it. An hour goes by and I see a funny meme on Facebook. I share it with him. He doesn’t respond. I call him. No answer. I send him a text “So, you’re ignoring me?”

LOL, yep I can be bratty. He called right back to say that he wasn’t ignoring me. He just walked back in the room after spending time with his son. He said he realized that my feelings were hurt and respected that. He let me have my moment. I didn’t want to go to bed with hurt feelings or animosity in my spirit. I wanted to let him know that. He knew.

He puts things in a box and pushes them off the cliff. He doesn’t hold on to things. He’s totally different from me on that end. I’m learning. So, I told him that I know that he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings and I wanted us to work it out before I close my eyes. I didn’t want anything to disrupt my sleep.

He laughed that beautiful laugh and I realized that I’m happy and blessed. Why? Because I found someone that loves the imperfect me. The person who can get on his nerves or get in her feelings and he be man enough to give me space and still make me feel as though I am the most important person in this world.

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I’ve never been my authentic self with anyone outside of my two best friends. I was always afraid to let people in. Let people get to know the unguarded me.  It’s been an interesting experience because I’m learning to allow people in and have them love the imperfections of me. The entire me.

So, this Motivational Monday Moment is about letting your light shine. Let your light shine on all your imperfections and flaws and own them. Don’t hide behind your insecurities and know that it’s okay to be flawed. You’re perfect just the way that you are. Love the person looking back in the mirror.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

 

Motivational Monday Moment – 4/17/2017

It’s the beginning of a new week and I wanted to share my Motivational Monday Moment with you. Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about success. Success takes many different forms and I bet we’re all successful in one way or another. It’s hard not to be. But, what are the things that you’re doing to be successful or stay successful?

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Success (n) the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.

Success can be whatever goals you’re striving for. No one said success will happen overnight, but don’t overlook the small successful steps that you make. Sometimes the small steps matter more. It’s about fearlessly pursuing your goals. Whatever they may be. You have to believe that you can and you will.

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Sometimes the journey will lead you down many different paths and roads but you just keep going. Your blessing is on the horizon. Your success is going to manifest itself in ways you could have never imagined. No matter what you’re going through, any setback is only a set-up for the success that you have on the horizon.  Success isn’t overnight. It’s a process. Whatever you’re going through you have to know that you can’t give up.

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Giving up sometimes seems the easiest thing to do, but when you’re running your race to accomplish your goals you can’t be distracted. You can’t give up! So, what you have to self-publish your book instead of getting a big publishing house to pick it up. You wrote that book right? So, what you didn’t get the job you wanted with the salary you thought you needed. You have a job right? Sometimes our failures only propel us to be more determined in reaching our goals.

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We have to become super motivated to reach our goals. We can’t allow distractions to deter us from being what we want to be. Prime example:  I want to write my own book.  The thing is that I can’t seem to find the time or motivation to do so. I’ve started drafts and I never finish them. I doubt my talents. I find excuses.

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I have a million and one things going on. I’m passionate about a lot of things. I’m thankful for everything that I have and everything that I can do. But, something the pastor said at church yesterday reminded me that I have to get to writing. I have to make time for my dreams. Not because I’m afraid of failing. Lord knows that I’ve failed enough times in my life. But, because I’m afraid of succeeding.

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I know it seems weird. But, that’s my fear. Being a successful writer and having to do it full-time. I love my job. I love my career. I love the many things that I have going on. Do I really want to stop doing them? No.

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So, I stall. I make excuses. I find ways to not “share my talent” as my pastor said yesterday. But, not today. I’m motivated to know that I have to be determined and not lazy. I have to push through with writing my book because my passion is telling my story.

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I need you to do the same. Let’s push forward and focus on being successful in whatever we want to do. Celebrate the small successes and keep going. Don’t stop. Success is not making excuses and doing what you want. Reach into your spirit and let your fire burn and let’s make it happen. My Motivational Moment is telling you that success is within your reach. Let’s get it!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment– 4/3/2017

This Motivational Monday Moment is inspired by my sister girl who is going through some things. We talked last week and she was in good spirits where others may have been on the floor crying about their lot in life, she was keeping it in a positive perspective. Her response was “It could have been worse and God’s always got me.” Whew!

That was a testimony. So, I wanted to share that with you. I wanted to encourage you to put your circumstances and trials in a positive perspective. It’s easy to get disappointed and discouraged about things you’re going through. Heck, I’m going through some things now and I’m trying to remember that it could be worse.

Her attitude was such that she knew that no matter what the outcome of her situation that God’s got her. I was so amazed by it. Her positive perspective about her situation was what I needed to remind me that God’s grace is for everyone.

Here’s an example of how I utilized her advice…On Friday, I received an email from the after care provider stating that she left her cell phone at home.  I forwarded the email to my ex-husband as he was picking up Munch from school that day to take him to get his haircut or so I thought.

He responded to me that he was not picking up our son and that he had gotten his haircut last week because his hair looked bad and he had an event. I was floored. Why wouldn’t you just send me a text and/or email and let me know that so I knew to pick up my son on time?

As you could imagine, I was H-O-T! Why the heck didn’t you tell me? You know the answer that I received “I thought I did.” If that wasn’t some cockamamie BS, I didn’t know what was. I said a prayer “God help me”. I thought about how I normally work late whenever I don’t have Munch and that he would have been sitting at school like a lost child because his father had failed to communicate.

You know what happened next? God showed me that I needed to put it in a positive perspective. How could I do that? By accepting that thankfully the director had contacted me and I had checked my email.  That counted for something. My son wasn’t sitting there like an abandoned puppy. I smiled and thanked God.

No matter what my lot in life or the circumstances of my surroundings, God is and will always be God. It never changes. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to remind you to put it in a positive perspective. No matter what is going on. Change your mindset and allow God to handle it.

Be blessed my loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/27/2017

Today’s Motivational Monday Moment is about Gratitude. This was the message that I received when I went to my sorority’s state meeting in late January. We had a health and wellness session and the speaker gave each of us a stone with a word written in it. She walked around the room and we each reached our hand in a bag and that was our word to focus on this year.

We were asked to let that message resonate with us. To think about what it means to us. To find ways to incorporate this message in our lives throughout the year. Wow! When I tell you that session was so powerful. I’m still getting chills thinking about it. I reached my hand in that bag and pulled the stone with gratitude written on it.

I started thinking about my life and where I’ve come and where I’m going and how I’ve been grateful for it all. Was I being gratuitous in my daily life. Did I show gratitude to others. Did I realize how grateful I am to have God’s grace and mercy in my life? All these thoughts were rushing into my mind as I sat there firmly holding my stone.

There was a message that was staring me in the face. I could choose to ignore it or I could choose to follow it. What harm is there in being grateful? None. So, for 2017 I choose to practice gratitude. On a daily basis.

It gets hard. I get frustrated. I feel overwhelmed by outside influences, but I have to ignore them and focus on the fact that my word for 2017 is gratitude. I need to be an example of how to be grateful. So, if I haven’t told you lately that I’m thankful for each and every one of you, please know that I am.

I wish each of you a gratuitous heart and spirit. I pray that you learn to breathe in more positives than negatives and know that you are amazing. Remember that it is our attitude that determines our altitude. Let’s fly high loves!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/20/2017

It’s the first day of spring. I’m late getting my post out. I needed to be motivated this morning so I’ve struggled with what to write. Please forgive me for the delay. I started thinking about what I could tell you to motivate you this morning. I had nothing.

I didn’t feel motivated. I felt tired and exhausted of having to fight the same battle over and over again. I felt as though my back was up against the wall. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know what to say. I just knew that I wanted peace.

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There are some difficult situations that I have to face in the coming weeks. I will share more as I know more, but I was really feeling overwhelmed. I told Mr. C that I needed him to encourage me this morning. To make me feel better.

He said “You have a job. You have money. You woke up this morning. Your son is healthy. You have a boss that is understanding.” Okay, I get it. Not enough. But, poignant and true. I wasn’t giving thanks. I was feeling the pain of my issue and not giving the praise.

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I talked to another friend about my situation and he told me that God told him that “It’s a blessing to be tested and tried by Him. “ He told me to not dismay and know that God is blessing me regardless of whatever I’m going through. He told me to be encouraged and know that we serve a mighty God.

I know.

I’m human.

I just want peace.

Every time I feel like I get a little peace and quiet, things come along to disturb the natural order of the way I believe my life should work. The peace that I thought I had is always short lived. Things disturb this natural order and I feel overwhelmed. I’m struggling ya’ll.

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I know that what Mr. C said and what my friend said made sense. I’m a Christian and sometimes I feel like I’m failing. I’m failing at trying to keep chaos from interfering in my life. I didn’t ask for this. I just want to ride out the peace for years to come.

I know that I’m not living in reality right now. What’s wrong with wanting peace? Nothing. 51ef3e3fc97a88c221e264f8e788cbf0

But, God.

God spoke to me through music to ease my weary soul. He often speaks to me through music when I’m going through something and I ask for His help. When I pray for peace and I can’t seem to hear it through the noise of me wanting to take control of my own life and do what I want. He did it today.

I was listening to Marsha Ambrosious on Pandora and he played Mary Mary’s gospel song “Yesterday”. I had to close my office door because tears began to roll down my face as they sang “Any problems that I had he’s greater, he’s greater than them all. I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday.” – Mary Mary. God was speaking to me. I was doing too much.

I hear you God. I can’t keep crying about the situation. I gave it to you. I need to trust you to do your will. I need to lean on you and know that you are greater than any problems that I have. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is to trust. Trust God. Trust Him with everything.

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We can’t keep crying over the same situation and the same problems. We need to give our all to God. He is the way maker and we know that all things work according to His will. I trust you God. No more tears. Thy will be done.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 3/6/2017

I want to talk about grace today. Grace as a noun means favor or good will. I never really thought much about that word until recently. So, my Motivational Monday Moment is about grace and how it is not the same as forgiveness.

Let me tell you how I discovered that they are not the same…

I went home last month to Tennessee to see my father. It was uneventful, which was good. He’s recovering. He’s not doing what he’s supposed to do. His family is helping him out.

I flew in late Saturday night and drove almost two hours to my grandma’s house. I got lost. The outlets in the rental car didn’t work. I had 10% of cell phone battery left. It was trying. I got in and went to sleep.

Sunday morning I went to church with a friend of mine to hear him preach and later that evening I went to check on my dad. We sat and talked for a couple of hours. It was good. He asked me to take him to McDonald’s and get him something to eat.

So, off we went and he started to talk about how his family mixes things up. How they get information confused. His mom (who is deceased) and/or his siblings. It was random, but he mentioned how the first time he brought his girlfriend Arlene to town from Chicago, people had assumed she was white.

I listened to him talk. I said “I remember Arlene.” He replied “You never met Arlene.” I said, “Yep, I did. It was one year that we happened to be in town and my grandma made us come over to visit your mother. Your family. Funny thing is that she didn’t even tell us you were in town. We found out by visiting. I wanted to walk down the street to the local park with some of my friends. I asked you could I go. You told me to ask Arlene. Why? She wasn’t my mother. She was the first woman that I met and you thought that your girlfriend should give me permission? She wasn’t entitled. You were the parent. I felt disrespected. You didn’t provide support for us. Neither did Arlene. Non-financial people shouldn’t have opinions. Especially not girlfriends.”

He just listened. He changed the subject. He doesn’t remember that I met his first girlfriend outside of my mother. Only that he brought her to Tennessee. I, on the other hand remember everything. I have a long memory.

My memory won’t let me forget the pain inflicted by my father. I’ve tried. Other things happened which I will tell you about later. I didn’t understand. I hadn’t felt bad in a LONG time. What was happening to me? I shouldn’t be feeling the pain of longing for a father who wasn’t there.

I came home the following Tuesday and met with my therapist that week. I told her what happened. She asked me “Why do you go and visit him?” I told her that God told me to forgive him. She inquired whether or not God told me to build a bridge with him? I told her that he only told me to forgive him. She told me “You haven’t forgiven him.” I told her “Yes”. She said “No, you’ve given him grace. You’ve not forgiven him. You have too much residual pain left.” She went on to explain that the pain is both normal and understandable considering the years of abandonment, but she needed me to think about what forgiveness looks like.

I sighed.

For the last four years of my life, I thought I gave forgiveness. I gave grace. They are not the same. The weird thing is that I never knew anyone who gave grace. I thought God was the only one to give grace.

I was wrong. We can give grace. I allowed him to occupy a space in my world after almost 30 years of no relationship by thinking I was doing as God instructed…forgiving. But, now I see I was only giving grace.

I was being graceful by allowing him to be a part of my life. I was thinking that I was forgiving him by letting him spend time with me and dealing with the parts of my life that were painful. The parts that were caused by him and others. But, I wasn’t forgiving him. I haven’t forgiven him.

I’m struggling with this uncovered feeling. I’m trying to process what I need to forgive him. It’s hard. It’s a process and ultimately, I need to both obey God and forgive my father. God forgives. God gives grace.

I am not God.

So, my Motivational Monday Moment is spent somewhere in reflection, thought and understanding of grace and forgiveness. I ask the question, “Have you forgiven or have you given grace?” Let’s focus on both this week.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 2/20/17

My Motivational Monday Moment is about protecting your heart. This came to me as I was talking to my therapist last week about cutting people out of my life. I explained to her how I decided that I’m done with a couple of people and that I’ve blocked them from my phone and released them from my heart.

She asked me why I don’t tell them why I’m ending the relationship. I told her that I didn’t need too. I told her that people know what they do when they blow up at you or disrespect you via email or text. They are not stupid. If I go and tell them what they did and they start that disrespect again then I’m working myself up over their own issues and I’m stressed. Not going to happen.

I told her that when I let you go I release you from my heart so there is no need for me to have closure. I move on and move forward. I harbor no ill will or feelings. She said “Okay, as long as it doesn’t affect you.”

I was telling Mr. C what we talked about and I asked him his thoughts. He said he understood what I was saying. I asked him “If I stopped speaking to you tomorrow, would you know why?” He said “Yes”.

Boom.

There it is.

People know when they display toxic behaviors in relationships and why they are no longer welcome in healthy relationships. I believe that by giving you another opportunity to disrespect me is allowing you one more time to stress me out. Not going to do it. That’s what therapy is for.

However, the words of my therapist played in my head all day. Is it possible that I need to give closure? Is there a proper way of ending relationships? Ugh!

The next morning I got up and read my devotional and it spoke of Proverbs 4:20-23:

Proverbs 4:20-23 (NRSV)

20 My child, be attentive to my words;
    incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them escape from your sight;
    keep them within your heart.
22 For they are life to those who find them,
    and healing to all their flesh.
23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
    for from it flow the springs of life.

The writer was telling me that it is important to guard your heart. It is the very essence of who you are. This was my confirmation that I didn’t need to give closure to people via email or text or verbally after they unload on me. I was protecting my heart.

The thing we need to remember is that when we allow people into our lives that sometimes their purpose is for a reason or season. We can’t allow people to bring toxicity into our lives and be able to protect our heart from that. We can’t. Eventually that will spread into our lives.

By releasing people from any obligation to continue in this relationship, I am protecting my heart. I’m doing what’s best for me. I don’t harbor any ill will or bitterness. Things end. I wish people the best as they move forward. Without me.

I encourage you today to protect your heart. Do not allow negative thoughts to set up shop in your heart. Release people from any obligation to stay in your life and free yourself from toxic things. Your heart matters. You matter.

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