The Man

No, you can’t date me.

You can’t waste my time with your fictitious lies

Or mediocre behavior

You can’t try to woo me with your one liners

Or be the main man in my life

You can’t seduce me with your looks

You can’t wow me with your career

You can’t be anything to me.


Because I want more

More time

More energy

More courting

More conversations


And you just aren’t ready

Step aside man and let the one who is destined to take me as his queen see me

No more hiding behind your fake references for a future or trusting that you care

I just want to be his forever and you my friend…

Can’t even compete with his swag


I Would Miss

I would miss your laugh

If you no longer found my jokes funny

I would miss your scent

If your arms no longer wrapped around me with ease

I would miss the sound of your heart beat

If you never let my head rest on your chest

I would miss the feel of your lips

If you no longer wanted to kiss me


Would miss



Happy Father’s Day!

Today is father’s day and I want to wish all the men out there who are father’s or play a fatherly role to a child, Happy Father’s Day! We salute and honor you for all that you do. I know it seems that no one recognizes you and all your contributions, but trust me they do. More importantly, the children recognize your importance.

Here’s a poem I wrote in honor of my son’s relationship with his dad. I wanted to share what I think that my 7-year-old thinks about his dad. The first person that held him. The first person that kissed him. The first person that changed his diaper. His dad.





First love





My dad

Always knows what to do

Protects me from the dark

Holds my hand always

Tells me he loves me everyday

Even when I can’t be near him I

Call to remind him of my voice

He smiles and laughs and says

“You know I will never forget” and I nod

But, there is something about my daddy

That makes me want to always check-in and


The small things that happened

Talk about my day

For this man whose eyes and smile are a reflection of my own

Loves without thought

Gives without concern

And knows

That he is raising a king

His king

Enjoy your day loves!


Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Yay! My first award..The Very Inspiring Blogger Award.img_2255

I got nominated by the wonderful couple: Emily and Chris who host A Couple Talks blog. They have this great blog that is written from both a male and female perspective that gives you insight into dating, relationships and everything in between. Go check it out and I thank you both!

This is my first blogger award and the fact that total strangers think that I’m inspirational has me stoked. Woo hoo! Go me! Go me!


So, here are my thank you’s:

I would like to thank Sweet baby Jesus for being the motivating force in my life. Many of you know that I love me some Jesus and I know where my help comes from. I am a broken Christian marching in His army. Amen!

I would like to thank my son for providing hours of amusement to me that allows me to write about his antics. I would like to thank my friends for telling me to write-through the pain of my marriage crumbling and journal my experiences. Apparently that makes for great reading. I would like to thank POF, Tinder, Match and Black People Meet for allowing me to be a part of your dating site and realize that…men are crazy no matter what site you’re on.


Are you inspired yet? Seriously, I’m honored and I can’t believe that my little blog has such awesome readers. I hope that I can continue to write material that people find inspiring and just plain good.

So, one thing about winning this award, I have to do some official things.

Here are the rules: 

  • Thank the person who nominated you and add their link.
  • List the award rules so your nominees will know what to do.
  • Tell 7 hidden facts about yourself.
  • Nominate 5-10-15 other bloggers.
  • Contact your nominees and provide a link to your post.
  • Display the award logo (button) on your blog, whether on your sidebar or about page, or special award page.

My nominees are:

  • I nominate Heather and her hubby, Chris for the wonderful work on Meet the Hopefuls – They blog about their infertility struggles and their intent to become parents. The IVF process is gruesome and they take you on their journey. Very inspiring.
  • I nominate Jason’s Journal for his inspiring blog that captures everything from photographs, to essays and just writing from his perspective about life – he is the real deal. Very inspiring. I promise that you will enjoy reading Jason’s Journal.
  • I nominate Brad Johns from The Positive Project. Great blogger who talks about his life and motivates and inspires us each time. He’s expecting a new baby with his wife and I promise you will enjoy his writing.
  • I nominate Our Party of 6. A great blog about being a pastor’s wife and raising children. Her blog inspires you to see the message and gift in everyday things. You will enjoy it.
  • I nominate Susan of Our Everyday which is very inspiring blog about her life and family. She uses beautiful prose, poetry and pictures to bring you into her everyday life. She’s my high school classmate and I know you will love her blog.

Seven Hidden Facts About Me:

  1. I recently reconnected with my dad after a 30 year hiatus. I found out that I may have 9 other siblings. Yep, my papa was a rolling stone.
  2. I have an accent. You will never hear it unless you’re around me when I’m home in Tennessee. I work hard to perfect my diction so you’ll never catch me slipping. LOL!
  3. I love selfies. Since my marriage ended, I learned to love my curves and find my happier and healthier self. Due to that I’ve become obsessed with taking photos of myself. Nope, I don’t have a selfie stick…yet.
  4. I hate when people talk about bugs, lice, fleas, etc. I start itching and scratching thinking I have something.
  5. I once planned to go to Vanderbilt law school and enter politics so I could become governor of my home state in Tennessee.
  6. My favorite book of the bible is Romans. It is the book that speaks to me the most in terms of my walk and faith and God’s ever-present love for me.
  7. Spanish was my first language. We lived in Spain when I was learning to talk and my babysitter spoke only Spanish. Therefore, I spoke Spanish at home.



I thought it was you

That would wake me up with a kiss

That would rub my feet after a long day of work

That would fix breakfast just because

That would laugh at my antics

Encourage my dreams

Believe in my strength

Support my sanity

Demolish my walls

And see the true me

Not flying in the clouds

Saving everyone

Fighting crime

Too tired to keep it up

You, I thought you would see me

Behind the cape

The one who would take it off

Wash it

Put it away

And tell me

Your superman is here baby


I Prefer Not To Be

I prefer not to be in your math class

having you subtract and divide my soul into multiple pieces

I prefer not to be in your English class

when you don’t even know that there must be a verb in every sentence

I prefer not to be in your history class

When you can’t see that the pain you’re causing me is relative to slavery

I prefer not to be in your science experiment

When you don’t understand that the proper titration of my heart is causing an overflow

I prefer not to be in your gym class

I don’t want you dribbling my heart down the court trying to make a 3 pointer

I prefer not to be in your french class

When you can’t even translate “Je te aime beaucoup”

I prefer not to be

A part of your life


A Poem of Friendship by Nikki Giovanni

For my friend…

We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save

I don’t want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are

-by Nikki Giovanni

I Wish

I love the scent of you

The scent of your skin invokes memories of


When we were happy

When we loved without thought

When we laughed without regard

When we realized that in this bitter world

It was only us

That existed


But our existence has ended

We live in two separate worlds

Worlds of reality and fantasy

I want reality

You want fantasy

You tell me that your fantasy is my reality

And I realize that you may be right

And I wish I could turn back time

Rewind all the memories

Erase from my mind the scent of you

Then maybe I could stop

Just stop

Hating you

Black Girl Broken

Unexplained infertility

That was the diagnosis

No medical reason

Why this black girl couldn’t conceive

I’m broken

I cried out “My God why have you forsaken me?”


“Options” was what the doctor said

“You have options”

In a cloudy haze I listened as this man

Began to explain my uterus

My womb

The core of my existence that was supposed to bring forth life

He was telling me how it worked?

How could he know?


How could he know what I was feeling?

Could he see through my soul and know that

I was burning and screaming

In pain

I was broken

My uterus was the soul of who I am

It was broken

No medical reason

No real diagnosis

Unexplained infertility

Black girl broken



Day 21

It’s been 21 days since this valley of pain was created.

I spend each day being thankful.

Thankful that no more tears are falling.

They’ve stopped.

No more mini breakdowns when I look at your pictures.

It’s getting easier.

It hurts like hell, but don’t all breakups hurt?

My heart is mending.

My mind is clearing.

I will reminisce about better days.

I will think why did I allow this conscious uncoupling?

And then I will remember and say

Because I wanted more.