I read this post entitled “How Waiting for Sex is Worth the Wait” last month. The post gave suggestions about how long women should before having sex. It wasn’t designed to be definitive but I felt that it was missing one major guideline. Here are some of the suggestions:
It is different for everyone, some guidelines are:
- When he has said he loves you
- When you feel 100% sure he will want to still contact you
- When he asked you to be exclusive
- When you have met his friends and family
- When you have been dating him at least 6 weeks
Did you notice that something was missing in the guidelines? How long you should wait before having sex? How about until you are married? Wait for marriage before having sex.
Why? Because we should ladies. So many of us are discounting ourselves with men who don’t recognize our full value because we think it will keep a man. How many times have you said, “Umph, I know that when I sleep with him he will want to stay”? Honestly, how many times has that ever worked? You can’t make someone stay who doesn’t want to.
Now, I’m not trying to convince you to change your beliefs (okay, maybe a little) but why rush sex? Heck, six weeks is not enough time, but you could make someone wait 6 months and they still may leave after getting your cookies. Let him court your spirit. Why?
Because if you don’t it ruins it for the rest of us women looking to date a man who shares our similar belief and wants. We want the good old-fashioned courtship. The ones where it is respectable and we honor each other and God by not engaging in our carnal desires.
I remember sharing in bible study last year how when I was attending church as a child I wasn’t taught to wait for marriage or that my body was a temple that belongs to God. I wasn’t instructed on how to honor that temple by abstaining from sex, eating properly, not doing drugs and exercising. I wasn’t taught that anything that would aid in my not honoring my temple was in fact not honoring God. Nope, this lesson didn’t come from my church nor my mom.
It came from life experiences and studying to live according to His Word and His Will. I’ve made plenty of mistakes and I’m not trying to tell you that I’m perfect or preach perfection, but I’m trying to tell young women that your cookies are valuable and you shouldn’t let everyone have a sample of them no matter how great you think they are.
Give your all to God and let a man who loves and believes in God court your spirit and respecting that you don’t want to have casual sex but date for a purpose. That you want to be in a relationship with a man to find your soul mate. You want to wait on God. Don’t be a hit it or quit it or one night stand type of girl. Trust me that a man who is honoring God will never question your decision to wait.
Give your best to the man who God has destined to be your best friend. Not the guy pretending to be your Mr. Right. It will save your from many weeks, months or years of misery.
Until next time loves!