I’ve missed ya’ll. I’ve been sort of wandering. Living my life this summer. Just enjoying this space that I’m in and just figuring some things out. I don’t have it all together. I don’t pretend to. Some days are better than others but I’m living my happy black ass life. LOL.
But, in doing that I came across this post yesterday by my other fellow blogger, Jay Thomas. Jay is an incredible blogger over at Relationships Etcetera, a relationship guru and an all around cool guy. He gives me a different way to think about things and I just really dig his vibe. He LOVES LOVE.
So as I was scrolling through Facebook yesterday and I saw Jay’s post and thought it was so profound. It was about love and purpose and going with the flow. This line stuck out to me…
Posted on August 8, 2018 at 8:00 a.m.
I like to flow with purpose.. not just flow and hope for the best. When a man has purpose, he is focused. When there’s no purpose, his mind wanders.
It got me to thinking are we flowing with purpose while dating? I know that it’s been a while since I’ve dated. I mean I was attached to Mr. C for almost 3 years, but what made the difference between him and others was the fact that he dated with a purpose. He communicated that was his purpose and we engaged in a courtship. I respected that.
I met so many men during the dating process that literally would say stuff like “Oh, I don’t believe in titles.” “Let’s just see where this goes” or my favorite “Let’s just go with the flow”. These statements were frustrating and confusing as hell.
Everything has a title. You have a title to your car. I’m not forcing a relationship or rushing to exclusively date you, but I want to know if we are on the same page in the beginning.
Is it too much to ask to explain whether or not you date with a purpose to move towards a goal of becoming committed? If you want to just have sex with random people – it’s good – do you. I don’t judge. It’s not me though. I want to build something with someone. I want to have an authentic connection emotionally with someone that gets me. I want to know if we are flowing with a purpose.
We have to start being real and have genuine conversations with the people we meet. People shouldn’t have to figure out whether or not you see or want a future with them. I shouldn’t be the last woman standing after years that you then decide to date me exclusively. I’ll pass.
I don’t want that kind of man. I want a man like Jay describes…a man who has purpose. A man that is focused. I don’t want any more wanderers. Been there and done that.
I think that’s why at this point in my life that’s the river you’ll find me on. Lazily sitting back in my boat with my mojito in hand and my floppy hat cocked to the side . Just flowing downstream with a purpose. A purpose to find love and an authentic connection with a wonderful man. No dinghy’s or crabs allowed.
Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page @mskeeinmd.
That’s a perfect description! Flowing with a purpose. Just because you have a purpose in mind doesn’t mean you have a rigid set path on how to get where you’re going. You know what you want and you’re open to how it will unfold:)
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Absolutely. I just don’t want to flow with men with no purpose. No time tables, but you must have a purpose as to why you’re dating and why you’re dating me.
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I’m with you 100%!
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Do you girl! Love it your flow…👍🏾
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Thanks sis. It’s weird because I’m so not ready. I’ve been out of the field for a while.
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Yes!
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Hey Tikeetha!
Thank you! This is love!
I will say that, when I started having intentional relationships with people (mainly the woman I was with) things began to spawn that I didn’t expect. I held her to a higher standard, and she did the same. I was focused on the process and the goal at the same time. I made sure that I was truly intentional in everything I did, and said to her. From how I interacted with other women, to the decisions I made, and the relationships I cut-off. No side-chick, and no plan-B. Just focus.
Everything we did was truly to support our vision for the future. The conversations we had, and the actions we took were all purposeful, intentional and substantial.
Most importantly, I had a plan for her. I led the way, and she was willing to follow the plan. I kept her up-to-date, and we had check-ins constantly to make sure we were still on the same page. That’s true intention. True focus. It ain’t easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
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And that’s why you’re awesome.
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