Three Things I Want You to Know – 11/21

This week was rough ya’ll. I’m thinking about taking a break from social media including blogging. I realized that I am too empathetic and this is causing me to get discouraged in humanity. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. Wondering what is going on in this world.

So, my three things that I want you to know this weekend are based off some of the things that are floating around on Facebook and in the media.

  1. Black women are not responsible for all the ills of the world. We are not solely responsible for raising our children. It takes two. Black women love themselves and I will admit that all of us have issues. Everyone, not just black women, but to say that we lack self-love and therefore we teach our sons the same thing so they have no regards for life is a fallacy that needs to stop being circulated. Instead, I implore you to change your environment and become mentors to children that don’t have a father or mother in the home and stop making blanketed statements about black women. I am a black woman and I am raising a son with no man in the house. He will be fine. Many other black boys will be too.
  2. I’m a black person. A black woman. I am not giving my black card back to the quasi-pro black police because I changed my Facebook picture in support of solidarity to the lives lost on Friday, November 13th. I know France’s history and I also know the history of the U.S. We’re no better. I can have sympathy for the tragedies that occurred in a country where my son is learning to speak their language. A place where I plan to visit in the next couple of years. To a country that has seen more tragedies than many of us can imagine. But, I’m still black. According to The New York Times there are approximately 8 million blacks living in Europe and I can support whoever the heck I want because first and foremost I am a child of God. I pray for everyone regardless of their race, nationality, religion or sexual preference.
  3. This grandstanding on not letting Syrian refugees in our country is getting on my last dang nerve. Who are you? Dang, didn’t we steal this country from the Native Americans? Aren’t we refugees? Not everyone is a terrorist and not everyone who is a Muslim is a potential threat. We have to stop this foolishness. We are a country that loves our guns but can’t stop the American terrorists who were born and raised in America from shooting up schools, killing children or blowing up government buildings and we think we are safe? These people are running from the wars in their country and seeking refuge. Hell, I want to seek refuge sometimes because I’m scared of a radical American shooting up schools. We have to stop acting like we care about people and tie it to other issues of social injustices. Separate them. Attack them one at a time. If you are not part of the solution, step the heck back and stop being a part of the problem.

Rant over.

Have a great weekend loves!

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Baltimore Blues

I am hurt over the destruction that is occurring in Baltimore. We have to be an advocate for change and nothing comes from rioting. I understand the injustices that occur in our community. I am a black woman raising a black son, but to sit here and destroy your community serves no purpose. I will not co-sign with someone who says it’s anger manifested and it serves a purpose. It does not. Because those same folks are sitting at home typing on their computers unaffected. They are not going to bring their happy butts down to Baltimore to clean up what you messed up. Stop fooling yourself.

I grew up poor. I’m not rich. Just because I don’t live in Baltimore doesn’t mean that I can’t empathize with your struggle, but burning down your community is not the answer. Haven’t we learned from the Detroit Riots, Rodney King Riots, Newark Riots and Watts Riots? What happens? The same issues you are supposedly fighting against still continue only you’ve brought down your property value and oops, no one vacations in Detroit. Money is lost. Everything in America is about economics. Will the 16 CVS stores that suffered reopen in the affected neighborhoods? Maybe or maybe not. What if they make a decision not to reopen? How will residents get their prescriptions? Not just the young people, but the elderly who walk to their local CVS? To assume people have insurance to rebuild, buy another car or fix their property damages in an already dilapidated area is to assume from the comfort of your home that they may not truly be poor. Because a lot of poor people are in essence “riding dirty” and don’t have insurance.

baltimore-riots-10People know better which is why I support the mother that whooped her son’s butt. I’m a mother. I didn’t raise you like this. Read a book and learn from our history. Are you a rioter or are you a social agent for change?

Note: To see the video, please click on the title of the post if you are viewing it in your email.

Black Lives Matter: Walter Scott

By now you’ve all heard of Walter Scott and the horrific way in which he was gunned down on Saturday, April 4, 2015. If you haven’t seen the video, I encourage you to watch it here:

Now, what’s interesting is that after high-profile incidents in the news (Cleveland, Ohio and Ferguson, Missouri) you would have thought that all officers are on a training schedule to talk about excessive force. But, apparently that is wishful thinking. Why must we keep trying to hashtag #blacklivesmatter to remind people that racism is still occurring in this country? Why do we insist on turning a blind eye and saying that we don’t see color. Let me be clear then…You don’t see me.

Because if you see me. You would see a black woman. You would see a black mother who loves her black son. You would see a curvy black woman with more booty than she wants to admit. You would see a smart black woman with a laugh that is rich, full and loud. You would see a nerdy black woman. You would see me. To say that you don’t see color means that you don’t see me.

You’re just sitting on the sidelines and ignoring the injustices that continue to occur in my community. Mine. I live in Maryland, not South Carolina. But, he is a black man who was murdered. I am raising a black son. Hopefully, my munch will grow up to be a black man. I’ve shared with you my fear that I have to teach him things that my friends who are not black don’t have to teach their children. You know things like:

  • If pulled over, always be respectful. Yes sir. No sir. Don’t ever be disrespectful.
  • You may be humiliated son by someone who doesn’t like you for the color of your skin, but let him humiliate you. I know it will hurt and it will break my heart that the humiliation is akin to the ones your ancestors suffered in slavery, but take it baby. I want you to live.
  • Always memorize a badge number and name.
  • Don’t have more than one other black male in the car with you. Too many black boys and people may get scared.

It’s a shame. We shouldn’t have to prepare our black boys for this horrific world. They’re boys. They’re children. They’re loved. They’re wanted. They’re needed. How come people can’t see that?

Walter Scott was arrested before. Mainly for unpaid child support and not showing up to court. He wasn’t a saint, but who is? Are we to determine that he deserved to be shot down 8 times in the back like a dog? Are we really going to play innocent and think that he deserved to die? That his children deserve this? His mother? His siblings?

No one deserves this. Thankfully, the officer that shot him, Michael Slager, was arrested and charged with first degree murder last week. This is progress right? A step in the right direction.

Time Magazine released their latest cover to bring light to the fact that this is still an issue. That #blacklivesmatter and we need to stop the senseless gunning down of black men. There is a war out there people! I pray that our government will get involved in trying to curtail some of this violence by allowing the federal government to investigate questionable deaths among police officers.

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Glory

Psalm 3:3 New King James Version (NKJV)

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me,
My glory and the One who lifts up my head.

If you haven’t seen the movie “Selma” by now, please go check it out. It is a phenomenal film whereby you sit and watch and think that is only 50 years later and we are still fighting some of the injustices that occurred then. But, then you realize that then is now and we are living in a perpetual cycle trying to bring light to the injustices that are still affecting us as a people. Have we truly overcome?

I’m not a proponent of violence. I support equality in every way. But, I don’t want us to sit back and not think that there is still work to be done. Until everyone is treated equally, we will always have situations like Ferguson. I know some people may think, “Why do you care? You’re not like Michael Brown.” No. I am not. I’m also not Eric Garner or Renisha McBride. But, I am my my brother’s keeper. I am my sister’s keeper. What affects them…affects me. We are all interconnected.

You truly saw this if you watched the Oscar’s Sunday night and saw the performance of “Glory” by John Legend and Common. It was better than hearing it at the end of “Selma”. It was a powerful song (that did win the Oscar for original best song) that gave you vivid images of things as they were and still are.

“Selma is now for every man, woman and child. Even Jesus got his crown in front of a crowd. They marched with the torch we gon run with it now” – Common

Note: If you can’t see the above video, please click on the title of this email to see the video of John Legend and Common performing this song on my website.

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Happy Birthday MLK!

“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” – Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. He would have been 87. He was an activist, humanitarian and a leader in the Civil Rights movement. He was a part of history. A brilliant but flawed man that believed in equal rights in a non-violent way.

I saw Selma last month and I am encouraging each of you to see and support this wonderful film. From the opening to the closing of this film, you will be moved. It is a film that speaks relevance to things that are occurring today in this world.

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No More

No more please. No more killing of our black babies and offering up excuses. I’m tired. As a mother to a black boy, this is my deepest fear. A fear that he will not be here on this Earth all the days of my life because of senseless violence. I mean Michael Brown and Ferguson is still fresh in my mind and now we hear about Tamir Rice? How could this happen?

A boy. A baby. Not even a teenager. A child. He is six years older than my son. He is a black boy. He is someone’s son. He is not going to go on his first date. He will not go to his prom. He will not graduate high school. He will not go to college. He will not get married. He will not be a father. He is dead.

How does this happen? Why are our children being used as target practice. No more. I can’t take it. I have a son. I don’t let him play with guns. I don’t let him play video games. I don’t allow him to play alone any where. I organize play dates and I organize outings. Why? Because I’m afraid. I’m afraid that he will be used as target practice and there is nothing no one will be able to tell me.

I’m crying. Literally writing this piece with tears rolling down my face. I’m scared. Scared of looking into the eyes of my son and knowing that because he is a black boy that no matter what I do to prepare him to not be viewed as a threat, he may be killed senselessly by law enforcement. This is heartbreaking to me.

To make matters worse, how the heck can someone like former Mayor of NYC Rudy Giuliani even justify cops killing blacks by saying that “White police officers wouldn’t be in black neighborhoods, killing black men, if you weren’t killing each other.” Are you kidding me? Why would you even say that? To say that our tax dollars don’t buy us the right to have officers serve and protect without killing us or using the stop-and-frisk method because of the color of our skin is of true offense.

Understand this…I mourn all deaths due to senseless violence. But let’s get real, if my son was murdered by someone who is not a law enforcement official we would hopefully see some sort of justice. If it is law enforcement that murders him then the odds that something will happen are slim to none. He will still be dead and his murderer will be free.

My plea is simple:  Please stop killing our children. Please stop murdering my brothers, fathers, cousins and uncles. Please stop protecting those that kill the innocent. Please prosecute those who kill our children. I will go home and be able to kiss my munch, listen to him tell me about his day at school, listen to him tell me how he can’t wait to go to his grandma’s house for Thanksgiving and listen to him tell me that he loves me tonight. I will get to put him asleep, kissing his forehead and sending prayers of thanks to God for another day with him. Tamir’s parents do not have that luxury. They will have to plan a funeral.

Tamir Rice
Tamir Rice

 

Guess Who Got Published on MBB?

Happy Friday Folks!

If you haven’t heard, I was honored to get an article published on one of my favorite blogs…MyBrownBaby (yep, one word). MyBrownBaby is an incredible blog started by Denene Millner who states that “MyBrownBaby isn’t about pointing fingers at or putting down white moms. It’s about helping black moms. It’s also about providing a service for those who need the information but can’t find it or who just want someone to commiserate with them—help them sort through the beautiful struggle that comes with being black parents in America.” You love it right?

It’s a great blog with a wealth of information, articles, tips and stories from both men and women about children. I have been following along for the last couple of years. So, in light of #domesticviolenceawareness I decided to share my story in hopes of getting it published and bringing home what I’ve been sharing all month with you.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Domestic Violence is a topic that is close to my heart. I’ve shared more with you than I’ve shared with my own family. (I guess you guys/gals are my family). This writing has been therapeutic for me and I’ve grown through it. Which is incredibly helpful. Well, I decided to submit an article for publication earlier this month and I got notified on Wednesday that it was accepted and went live. I am overjoyed and I hope you have a chance to check out my latest piece and to subscribe to this incredible blog!

Click here for my post –  Suffer the Little Children: The Effects of Domestic Violence on Kids

Be blessed loves!

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