Make Better Choices Girlfriend

It’s true. We’ve all been there. Dating men who were beneath us in terms of socio-economics, but should we really date a broke man? A man that is not able to provide for us?

I’ve been seeing a lot of questions on social media and in the various groups that I belong to asking whether or not our standards are too high. Maybe, but we are making poor choices when it comes to the men we are choosing to partner ourselves with and I need us to stop, drop and roll.

Do you know what I mean?

Stop

Stop dating and fathering children with men that don’t have. They don’t have a job so you see this as an opportunity to show him that you are down. Down for what sis? Poverty? Paying for all the dates? He’s broke. He shouldn’t be dating you much less dating anyone until he gets his life together. A real man doesn’t use a woman for a come up. Let me repeat that…A real man will never use you, date you and/or sleep with you trying to come up on your coat tails. If the man you are with is doing this then you need to stop dating him. He is not the man for you.

Drop

Drop all the excuses you tell yourself for supporting a broke man with no desire to work. Poverty isn’t in. It never was. If you’ve fathered children with a man that can’t take care of them, pick yourself up and move on Martha. If you’re doing it by yourself then you’re technically by yourself. Children require more than love. What about medical expenses, child care or basic school supplies? Broke men with no ambition and/or desire to provide should be dropped from your social calendar immediately. Run! Pack up your suitcases and leave that dog before you get fleas that you can’t get rid of.

Roll

Roll out on situations with men that are beneath who you are. You should never settle. You should never have expectations so high that even Jesus wouldn’t qualify to date you. You should find a happy medium. When your expectations are right and you are all about loving and living your happy life is when God will send a wonderful man into your life. A man that wants to build with you and not take from you. A man that will offer his everything and not just a broke piece of penis. Roll out of situations that require you to change who you are. You are not required to support people you didn’t birth. Especially grown men that don’t want to help you. Roll out and roll on from the struggle life. Again, poverty isn’t in and it ain’t cute.

Do you find yourself lowering your standards when dating? What about in relationships? Would you date a man or woman with no job? Talk to me.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

 

The Truth

We had been married for over four years. It was time. I had pushed off having children for years. I enjoyed it being us, but the silence was deafening. The desire to have a baby was like an echo in our otherwise peaceful home. He wanted children. I didn’t know if I was ready. I still had a lot of unreserved issues about being a mom, so it was becoming a problem for us. But, there was no time like the present.

December 2006

We sat there in the doctor’s office.  “Well, we’ve ran the tests and it looks like there is some blockage in your tubes and male fertility problems” he said. “What does that mean?” I asked. “It means that you’ll have difficulty conceiving” I sighed. My husband asked “Does this mean that we can’t have children on our own? “No, I will never say that. Couples conceive each day to the astonishment to the medical community. It just means that it will be difficult to conceive.”

I sighed. “What are our options?” He said “I would recommend IVF with ICSI.” I replied “I’ve been doing research and why not IUI” I asked. “Your blocked fallopian tube makes it more difficult” he responded. I was sitting there stunned. Not sure what to think or believe. My husband grabbed my hand.

The doctor said “I know that I’ve given you a lot of information to process, but if you want to move forward I would like to set up the group counseling sessions about the process. You’ll work with a nurse who will outline and handle everything.” We smiled. Got up slowly and were handed off to the nurse.

She smiled. Beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. In an instant I felt jealous. I bet she doesn’t have fertility problems. I bet she has a beautiful baby with the bluest eyes and blonde hair at home. It was painful. She could sense my anxiety and led us through to a conference room and explained the next couple of months to us. I was trying to listen and absorb what was being told to me.

Beyond the counseling sessions, we had to do our testing. Complete work ups. Do we want genetic testing? Does it matter? Personal choice. But, shouldn’t we be happy if we just get pregnant? Questions among questions floated through my mind. I looked over at my husband. He shook his head. He was listening intently. I looked back at the paper.

I needed to get on birth control. I had just had my period a week ago so nothing could happen for another month. I need to order my medications. They were specialty drugs and they had a specialty pharmacy in the building. We took all the paperwork and left. It was overwhelming.

We stopped by the pharmacy and dropped off the prescriptions. They were starting a Lupron protocol. We went to the car. We sat there. “It’s a lot” I said. “Yeah” he said. “Are we ready?” I asked. “Yes, we’ve talked about this” he replied. He’s right. I was being a chicken shit.

I hated needles. The fear of the needles was paralyzing me. That along with all the other scientific stuff we needed to go through. But, the smallest thought that we could have a baby next Christmas gave me pause. I smiled.

We headed home. Our lives were about to change.

-To Be Continued-

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

March for Babies

It’s not too late to help. Please consider donating.

A Thomas Point of View

Hey Loves,

I’ve decided to participate in March for Babies. I, along with some members of my sorority are walking in the March for Babies at Nationals Stadium on Saturday, May 6th. This is my first time participating in March for Babies, but I’m extremely excited.

Munch was born premature and thankfully didn’t have to spend time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) because I was given the shot of steroids 6 weeks earlier. The shot of steroids were to help his lungs rapidly develop (since that’s the last thing to develop) because my cervix kept shortening. He’s fine, healthy and a precocious soon to be 9 year old.

However, he was lucky. Many children are not as lucky. Including some of the children of my friends. I can’t imagine losing a child, but many parents experience this loss. The March of Dimes focuses on the prevention of birth defects…

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March for Babies

Hey Loves,

I’ve decided to participate in March for Babies. I, along with some members of my sorority are walking in the March for Babies at Nationals Stadium on Saturday, May 6th. This is my first time participating in March for Babies, but I’m extremely excited.

Munch was born premature and thankfully didn’t have to spend time in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) because I was given the shot of steroids 6 weeks earlier. The shot of steroids were to help his lungs rapidly develop (since that’s the last thing to develop) because my cervix kept shortening. He’s fine, healthy and a precocious soon to be 9 year old.

However, he was lucky. Many children are not as lucky. Including some of the children of my friends. I can’t imagine losing a child, but many parents experience this loss. The March of Dimes focuses on the prevention of birth defects, infant mortality and the prevention of premature births.

I want to help. I need your help. I set my goal at $250.00. If each of my WordPress followers were able to donate just $5.00, I could surpass that goal. It would be $7,240.00. How awesome is that?

Any amount that you can donate will be greatly appreciated. No amount is too small and all amounts are tax deductible. Can you help? If you can help – please click on my fundraising page here: March for Babies

Thank you in advance. Your help is truly appreciated. I will post a follow-up after the March with pictures and my feedback. I want you to know how invaluable you are to helping others.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Where Do Babies Come From?

Where do babies come from?  The dreaded question where parents pause, sweat and begin to stutter when their inquisitive child asks that question.  Guess what? You don’t have to sweat the sex talk to your little one, just ask my munch to tell you where babies come from.  It is the most beautiful and endearing parts of motherhood…his ability to put pieces together and explain things to others in the simplest form.

A couple of months ago, munch and I were talking and he said to me “Mommy, do you want me to tell you the story of where babies come from?” Now, I know many of you my find this interesting, but munch likes to tell stories about everything and we gleefully listen as he begins to explain things from his six year old point of view.  I said, “Of course love, tell me where do babies come from”.  
He said, “When a mommy and daddy are married and they want to have a baby, God sends an angel down from Heaven to live and grow in the mommy’s stomach until it is time for the baby angel to be born. God does this because he sent his son, Jesus to die for us so God gives us everything.  Once the baby is born, the baby cries and the mommy and daddy kiss the baby and say I love you forever.” I smiled with complete and utter amazement that my son had formulated a response to one of the most dreaded questions and it was both simple and biblical based that I didn’t know what to do other than say, “You’re so smart munch. Thanks for telling me.”

So, a couple of weeks ago when he attended camp, he told the other children and adults the same story. When I came and picked him up from camp, one of the teachers wanted to know could she please take him to her church’s vacation Bible School the first week in August. She said, “I will bring him home.” She said she loved the way he explained where do babies come from and she had never heard it broken down like that. She asked what church we attended and said how munch told her how he got a medal from his church school because he loved God and was learning about Jesus. I smiled.

I know that it is not medically accurate and I know that one day when he takes his sex education class that he will learn the truth, but that day is still a few years off and I can keep his child like mind in tact. I appreciate everyday knowing that his imagination is filled with his love for his parents and his understanding about God and life. In my child’s brilliant little mind, he has interpreted how children are born to their parents. It is the sweetest and most endearing story and I just smiled because in all my baby’s six years on this earth, I am just overwhelmed by the favor that God has shown me with this little one. So, if you ever want to know where babies come from, just ask my munch because he will tell you and I promise you that you will never be the same.