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The Village Doesn’t Have an Idiot

Yesterday, the surgery center called to talk me through my upcoming surgery. I wasn’t available and they left a message. They then sent me an email and asked me to confirm that I received it and understood what it said. I started freaking out. I mean – I’m having surgery soon. I was now having a panic attack.

I’m at work struggling to breathe and calm my heart down. I’ve been calm about the procedure. No surprises. I’ve had 3 surgeries prior so I know what it is like to go under the knife. No fear. Not even when my mother called to tell me that she can’t take off to take care of me. Basically, she’s on detail and will just be getting back from Hawaii and needs to finish out some projects before heading back to her original post.

Ugh! Minor setback. I breathed through that experience. She asked me can I reschedule my surgery so she can be there. Umm, nope. I’m getting ready to head into my busy season and the time is now. Pushing it back will only put me in a bind. Now, that I’m in management – I need to think realistically. To look at my schedule and be able to see what is coming down the pike. The date will stay the same.

I appreciated the fact that she wants to be there, but I now had to go it alone. I asked her could she take and pick Munch up from school and she said “Yep, I can do that.” Well that was the worst of it right? I can do this. I called Mr. C and confirmed that I needed a ride the day of my surgery. Mr. C started a new job and doesn’t have leave and has to be at work at 2 p.m. I may not be awake and moving around by that time so I need a ride home. No worries. I’ll figure it out. Called my girlfriend and she said she’ll be there. Tell him to call me when he leaves and I’ll be on my way.

Friends.

Damn, I’m lucky. Then my girlfriend started asking me questions like “Do you have a recliner at home?” Umm, nope. “You need a recliner.” I don’t have one. Research recliners I told myself. She then told me that I needed to get an app for the alarm so that I can turn it on and off so that people can check on me. I don’t like this idea. Still working through it. But, she’s packing up food so that my mom can feed me and Munch when she gets home without having to cook. She’s a great cook – my inner fat girl is getting excited.

Oh, I’ll be too groggy to eat right? Ugh! Another minor setback.

She then told me she would get me home and in the bed, but once I head up the stairs that I needed to be up there for about 3 days. Walking up and down the stairs is not good for my incision. Okay, no problem. I can do that. She said that she would go to the pharmacy and get my medications while I’m resting so that I can stay ahead of my pain.

This is a lot. I’m still aware that I will be alone during the day time, but I should be fine right? Sleeping and stuff.

Last week as I’m finishing up my staff meeting I mentioned that my mom can’t take off after my surgery and I needed a recliner and that my girlfriend was going to help me and go and get my prescriptions. My staff is awesome. Apparently, I can get my scripts in advance of my surgery. They told me to call the insurance company to see if I can get a nurse for a few hours a day. They confirmed that I needed a recliner and I remembered Rent a Center.

I talked to my niece who is coming home from college next week and she will be staying with me for a couple of days to get my meals and make sure I’m breathing. No real work to do. If the nurse comes, even better.

I’m excited. I’m working my plan. All is fine in my world that seems to be anxiously moving. That was until the call came that reminded me that I’m having surgery. I didn’t talk to the surgery coordinator at the facility. I responded to her email. The only issue is that she has a day earlier than my doctor’s office on when my surgery is taking place. How is that possible? I’m now confused as to when this dang surgery is taking place.

Finally, I’m running around like a mad woman to finish up some projects and make sure that my transition is smooth. I will not be checking messages or responding to calls. I’m going to let my mind and body heal. I will miss Munch’s concert on the 31st of this month, but I have a whole lot of people who will be in attendance supporting him.

Yes, it’s overwhelming as hell and I feel like a chicken running around with my head cut off.   But, hey…I’m proud to report that there is not one idiot in my village.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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The Truth About Parenting

Yesterday when scrolling through Facebook I see this great post that was shared to a group that I’m in:

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The post angered a lot of people. They felt judged. I get it. But, should you feel that way? Yelling at your child early in the morning starts them off on the wrong foot. We’ve got to do better. Speak in normal tones to them. If you set them on edge first thing in the morning, how do you think the rest of their day will go?

I saw this video below a couple of years ago and it really solidified in my mind that I was doing right by Munch.

There were many opportunities to start the child off on the right path and each adult that he encountered was determined to make his day suck. Yep, it was the adults fault. You are the ones that set the tone for how their day should be. Can they have bad days if you do everything right? Yes, absolutely, but how they start their day matters. Just like eating a healthy breakfast in the morning is best, it is also imperative that we put our children in a mindset of success and peace.

I commented on the Facebook post in my group with this…

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This mother commented that compared to you I must be doing something wrong. I laughed and said “No, we do our best. I only have one. I chose to do my best and pour the very best of what I have in raising him. It’s important that I get up each morning and fix him a hot breakfast. That I make sure he is presentable and in a positive mood each day. It’s my job as his parent. I wasn’t raised in the manner I’m choose to raising my son. Not a bad thing. I chose to raise him differently.” I’m not in competition with other parents. I am just choosing to do what I believe is best for Munch. Some days are good. Some days are a struggle. But that’s to be expected, right?

The other day Munch was taking his sweet time eating breakfast (38 minutes) and I was going to be late getting him to Before Care. I calmly called downstairs and asked him was he finished eating? He said he wasn’t. I then told him that I needed him to come upstairs in 7 minutes because we were late. We had to go. He started to talk about how he wasn’t finished. He still had food to eat. I explained that he was being distracted by watching his Ipad and not eating his breakfast. He complained that he was not. He then wanted to argue with me. I calmly replied “This was not a choice. I asked you to follow my instructions because you need to finish so we can get dressed and leave.” He did as instructed and we finished getting dressed and we left.

When I chose to practice positive parenting I knew that there would be days that would be overwhelmingly frustrating, but I’m sticking with it. I’m choosing to teach him positive behaviors and not to mess up his day with my own frustrations. Because that is what it is…my frustrations. I need to learn to control me.

I’m different. I do things differently with him. I trust that he will be grateful for the lessons that I’m teaching him and understand that I only wish him peace knowing that it starts with me.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Merry Christmas To You All!

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! I’m sorry for the late post, but I really just got up. Munch woke me up for the first time super early and I was exhausted. We played. He opened gifts and we laid down together to watch a movie and fell back to sleep.

It was great. We’re cooking dinner and playing with his new toys waiting on the rest of the family to arrive. It is the greatest time of the year.  There’s nothing more perfect than being with family and friends this day. Being with the people that love and support you and remind you that you are loved. It’s one of my favorite things.

So, I encourage you to remember that. You are loved. You are blessed and you are needed. Remember that it is not about the gifts, but the fellowship with family because the real reason for the season is Jesus.

As you may recall, I’m taking a blogging break until January 2nd. I am going to be checking in and reading your posts to get back in the habit. But, I’m officially off until the new year. I am spending time with Munch.

In my absence, I will be sharing wonderful posts by some great bloggers. Please check them out. They are amazing and each and every one of them would love to hear from you. Share their posts, comment and follow. Be brilliantly engaged!

Okay, that’s it. Munch is staring me down. He’s actually waiting for me to finish up this post because he wants me to help him put his toy together and play. I have an incredible boy that reminds me how blessed I am. Let me go and play with my son. I love you all. I wish you the Merriest of Christmases!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2017

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Day 13: My Parents

I have to tell you that my family is dysfunctional. My parents were kids when I was born. They didn’t know what they hell they were doing. They made many mistakes. I hated them both at different points in my life.

But, I’m thankful for them. I’m thankful for their DNA and for their ability to raise happy and healthy children despite a whole host of issues. Even though I struggle with my feelings towards my dad, I know that I wouldn’t exist without him. I see parts of him in my attitude and behavior. I am thankful for him.

I have a lot of my mom in me. I am my mother’s child. I realized that the things that I was telling my son she had said to me. Words and phrases that were interspersed into teachable moments. She really has grown on me and her and Munch are super close now. I am thankful for her.

I am thankful for the struggles and strength of my parents. It is never easy raising children. You do the best you can and hope that you don’t mess them up. They did. Individually. I understand that now.

It’s not about being a perfect parent. That’s impossible. Just be there. That’s half the job of parenting. Love and be there for your children. No matter how messed up you think your life is, your children need you. The real you.  It is Day 13 and I’m thankful for my parents in my #23daysofthankfulness.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Day 7: My Grandma

My grandma is pretty amazing. I’ve told you about her. I love her. She’s the rock of our family. I try to get home to Tennessee a couple of times a year to spend time with her. In my #23DaysofThankfulness I couldn’t forget to highlight this awesome woman.

So many people around me are losing loved ones and grandparents and I am just thankful to still have this beautiful spirit in my life. She inspires me to be great. She’s not perfect, but she’s strong. She loves God and she loves her family. I value that.

When so many of us are looking at others for inspiration to be our role models, I look to her. She is my constant. My biggest fan and the one who made me love and trust God unconditionally. I am thankful for my grandma.

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Day 3: My Family & Friends

I told you yesterday that I’m thankful for niece and the day before that how I’m thankful for my Munch. It’s now Day 3, and I wanted to share that I’m thankful for my family and friends. God has blessed me with awesome people that love and support me throughout all that I’ve been through and all that I’m going through. I am truly blessed.

My family has stood up and in the gaps of some of my most painful moments this last year. I am thankful for that. They’ve supported and loved me through the trials and tribulations that I’ve encountered. I am blessed.

However, I am also blessed for those that have left over the last year. I know that there is a season for everything. A season in which those that can go no further with you on this journey in life, will exit stage left. It’s not a bad thing. It’s reality.

It was hard for me to accept at times, but I know that God’s plans for me are greater than I could have ever imagined. He knows all and He sees all. So, some have dropped by the wayside as I continued on my journey to figuring out where I’m supposed to be and I know that it was as it should be.

When one door closed, God opened another. There has been so much support over the last year in terms of my sorority sister, my Facebook groups and just people that have come into my life. I’m thankful and blessed by it all.

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Day 3 of my #23DaysofThankfulness is all about my family and friends.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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It’s the Mother’s Fault

I’m so tired of society blaming all the problems of the world on the backs of mothers. We are not responsible for everything that happens in this world. We create life, but as men remind us we couldn’t do so without them. So, based off that fact, wouldn’t it be fair to say that we equally share in creating and influencing our children?

I saw this post in one of my FaceBook groups and was astonished at the comments:

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Why? Aren’t both equally dangerous to the well being of a child? Children require two healthy parents to love and influence them. Mental health is often overlooked in both parents. People who should get help deny their is something wrong with them, but the statistics support that most people are suffering from some sort of depression.

I grew up without a father in my life and I disagree with his statement. It did more damage than good. My mother by no means was toxic, but him not supporting his children financially, spiritually or mentally put all the work on her and she just focused on raising us. I had a hole in my heart because my dad abandoned me.

That played itself out in the men I chose and had relationships with. Some were really good men who could see that my father’s abandonment was playing with me. They didn’t take advantage. They just loved and supported. Others did take advantage. Those were the losers that I was unfortunate enough to be linked too.

Blame shifting when it comes to our children and what is in the best interest serves no one. It only allows those that see nothing wrong with their behavior to blame someone else for them not stepping up to the plate with a knife and a fork.

Our society tends to seek to destroy instead of build up one another. The family unit is damaged and it is sickening to believe that the mental health of men promoting hate propaganda and excusing negative behaviors in men is better for our children. Both a toxic parent and an absentee parent are detrimental to the children.

We need to understad that how children are raised and the traumas they experience in childhood will carry over in their adult lives. It’s a fact. It’s not assumption. Every thing that you’re doing now could be traced back to an event that made you that way. Good, bad or indifferent your past matters. Your experiences matter. They help shape the person that you are.

Children need their parents. Both mothers and fathers. But, you have to do the work to heal yourself from the past traumas you’ve experienced or it will manifest itself in the rearing of your children. Be active, be accountable and be mentally capable of raising great individuals.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Happy Labor Day!

I’m in Tennessee right now with my family. It’s been an amazing weekend. Food, fun and family. Who could ask for more right?

I love this time with family because it allows me the opportunity to rest and relax among those that know me best. Munch is enjoying himself immensely. He loves seeing all his cousins and playing with the boys. He loves to rough house.

Enjoy your time with your loved ones and if you are off, enjoy your day off! Spend time eating, being at the beach or cooking on the grill. Summer is winding down. I wish you an awesome Labor Day my friend.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 7.17.17

My Motivational Monday Moment is about finding your tribe. Find people that you can collaborate and grow with. People that will inspire you. People that have shared experiences and will motivate you.

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Sometimes your tribe isn’t your best friends or your family and you know what? That’s okay. We all have different life experiences. Your best friend may be happily married and you are going through a painful divorce so your experiences may be different. It’s okay to collaborate with people that may have shared experiences.

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As I’ve aged, I’ve learned that my tribe is all over the place and in different spaces. I’ve learned so much from people that I’m always amazed at why I couldn’t find these people sooner. I wonder “Where have you been all my life? ” 

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I’ve discovered so many things in this last year that collaboration has been both essential and rewarding. From groups on co-parenting, blogging, being a mommy, to female entrepreneurs and survivors of abuse. It’s a lot. Sometimes it is overwhelming. But, I am growing and learning. This allows me to contribute when I can and just observe when I can’t.

Finding your tribe is about finding people that resonate with you. You have a shared experience or feel the need to connect on common interests. This is essential for any one and everyone who believes in growth. For example, when I was younger, my tribe became consumed with married couples. I was a young married woman and my tribe was slowly shifting to couples that were married.

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There was both good and bad in that. The good was that it allowed me to have couple experiences and keep my marriage happy. Seriously, how many men want their women hanging out with single women at clubs or lounges? What about married women? Do you want your husband hanging out with his single guy friends at the bars? There was an opportunity to meet collectively as married women and know that our husbands were cool with that.

Your tribe shifts. It is supposed too. My tribe is continually evolving based on where I’m at in different points of my life. I like that. It doesn’t mean that I find no value in my friends or I’m cleaning out my closet of my closest relationships. Nope, it means that I’m joining and learning from people that have shared experiences. People that can offer both guidance and support for my life circumstances.

You can be a part of many tribes as your life evolves. It’s part of life. That’s okay. You are growing and there are many different facets to who you are and where you are at different points in your life. Don’t limit yourself. Be a part of as many or as few tribes as you want to be.

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So, my Motivational Monday Moment is a battle cry for you to go out and find your tribe and grow. Be strong in whatever endeavors you undertake knowing that you are a part of a collective that wants to see you succeed. Know that when you share you are sharing your experiences to help others. Each one must teach one.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Tuesday Thoughts

Hello Good People!

How are you this Tuesday afternoon? You’ve been missed. I took some time off to regather and regroup my spirit. I needed to unwind and sleep. Mama is tired.

School is ending in two weeks for Munch and I’m planning summer activities, camp and work (yes, my baby will be working on Math and Reading this summer). I’m excited by the prospect of new adventures and no rushing to school and work. Less traffic is always a plus. For whatever reasons, there tend to be less cars on the road during the summer.

But, I’m thankful.  I’m thankful for great opportunities. I’m thankful for my job. I’m thankful for family and friends.

I got to spend time with my niece this weekend. Munch hadn’t seen her since Christmas because she was away at college. She is heading to another state to spend the summer with her dad next week so the time was precious. There were fights, arguments and lots of hugs and playing. He missed her. They are like siblings. He told her that she was a moron. She told him that his belly was fat. He cried.

I laughed. I explained that when you choose to call people names, you can’t get mad when they call you names back. The key is to not do it. Let your words be positive and productive and not cruel and hurtful. Alas, they made up and he fell asleep on her. It was beautiful.

There was peace.

The peace reminded me that even in my worst days when I feel like I can’t catch a break and things are not working…there is always love. Love between cousins. Love between parents and children. Love with your significant other. Love from your family and friends.

I am loved.

You are loved.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.