Happy Labor Day!

I’m in Tennessee right now with my family. It’s been an amazing weekend. Food, fun and family. Who could ask for more right?

I love this time with family because it allows me the opportunity to rest and relax among those that know me best. Munch is enjoying himself immensely. He loves seeing all his cousins and playing with the boys. He loves to rough house.

Enjoy your time with your loved ones and if you are off, enjoy your day off! Spend time eating, being at the beach or cooking on the grill. Summer is winding down. I wish you an awesome Labor Day my friend.

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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Motivational Monday Moment – 7.17.17

My Motivational Monday Moment is about finding your tribe. Find people that you can collaborate and grow with. People that will inspire you. People that have shared experiences and will motivate you.

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Sometimes your tribe isn’t your best friends or your family and you know what? That’s okay. We all have different life experiences. Your best friend may be happily married and you are going through a painful divorce so your experiences may be different. It’s okay to collaborate with people that may have shared experiences.

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As I’ve aged, I’ve learned that my tribe is all over the place and in different spaces. I’ve learned so much from people that I’m always amazed at why I couldn’t find these people sooner. I wonder “Where have you been all my life? ” 

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I’ve discovered so many things in this last year that collaboration has been both essential and rewarding. From groups on co-parenting, blogging, being a mommy, to female entrepreneurs and survivors of abuse. It’s a lot. Sometimes it is overwhelming. But, I am growing and learning. This allows me to contribute when I can and just observe when I can’t.

Finding your tribe is about finding people that resonate with you. You have a shared experience or feel the need to connect on common interests. This is essential for any one and everyone who believes in growth. For example, when I was younger, my tribe became consumed with married couples. I was a young married woman and my tribe was slowly shifting to couples that were married.

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There was both good and bad in that. The good was that it allowed me to have couple experiences and keep my marriage happy. Seriously, how many men want their women hanging out with single women at clubs or lounges? What about married women? Do you want your husband hanging out with his single guy friends at the bars? There was an opportunity to meet collectively as married women and know that our husbands were cool with that.

Your tribe shifts. It is supposed too. My tribe is continually evolving based on where I’m at in different points of my life. I like that. It doesn’t mean that I find no value in my friends or I’m cleaning out my closet of my closest relationships. Nope, it means that I’m joining and learning from people that have shared experiences. People that can offer both guidance and support for my life circumstances.

You can be a part of many tribes as your life evolves. It’s part of life. That’s okay. You are growing and there are many different facets to who you are and where you are at different points in your life. Don’t limit yourself. Be a part of as many or as few tribes as you want to be.

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So, my Motivational Monday Moment is a battle cry for you to go out and find your tribe and grow. Be strong in whatever endeavors you undertake knowing that you are a part of a collective that wants to see you succeed. Know that when you share you are sharing your experiences to help others. Each one must teach one.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Tuesday Thoughts

Hello Good People!

How are you this Tuesday afternoon? You’ve been missed. I took some time off to regather and regroup my spirit. I needed to unwind and sleep. Mama is tired.

School is ending in two weeks for Munch and I’m planning summer activities, camp and work (yes, my baby will be working on Math and Reading this summer). I’m excited by the prospect of new adventures and no rushing to school and work. Less traffic is always a plus. For whatever reasons, there tend to be less cars on the road during the summer.

But, I’m thankful.  I’m thankful for great opportunities. I’m thankful for my job. I’m thankful for family and friends.

I got to spend time with my niece this weekend. Munch hadn’t seen her since Christmas because she was away at college. She is heading to another state to spend the summer with her dad next week so the time was precious. There were fights, arguments and lots of hugs and playing. He missed her. They are like siblings. He told her that she was a moron. She told him that his belly was fat. He cried.

I laughed. I explained that when you choose to call people names, you can’t get mad when they call you names back. The key is to not do it. Let your words be positive and productive and not cruel and hurtful. Alas, they made up and he fell asleep on her. It was beautiful.

There was peace.

The peace reminded me that even in my worst days when I feel like I can’t catch a break and things are not working…there is always love. Love between cousins. Love between parents and children. Love with your significant other. Love from your family and friends.

I am loved.

You are loved.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Roots

I have roots.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t.

Roots that are planted firmly where I stand.

In this state that is not my birth state, I’ve created a home.

A home with people that love and support.

Family and friends that I have known for years.

Some roots have died off.

It’s okay.

They weren’t watered.

They weren’t built to last.

There is a time for everything.

But, if you look into the ground you will see my roots

deep and strong

Like a tree I stand

Bending, not breaking

Swaying with the storms of life

being strengthened at the root

 

This post was inspired by the Daily Post. The word prompt was roots.

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Parenting Rights

One of the things that I refuse to apologize for is how I choose to raise my son. I don’t think anyone starts off trying to be a bad parent (okay, most people don’t). However, for the sake of this argument we will say that many of you are good working people that love your children and you’re trying to do the best that you can in order to raise them to become independent and productive citizens. Do we make mistakes? Absolutely.

No one is perfect. We try things with our children. Some things work. Others need to be modified and some just don’t work. That’s why it requires us to keep working at it. To keep parenting. However, your fundamental right as a parent is that you can choose how to raise your children however you want.

Here are some things that people may question you on:

  • TV/Computer time – Researchers say you should limit the amount of screen time. I think it’s something like 30 minutes a day. Umm, I don’t subscribe to that philosophy. Munch gets about 30 minutes in the morning while he’s eating breakfast to watch his Ipad. He gets additional time after we finish homework and dinner. It is probably an 1.5 hours. So, he gets about 1.5 to 2 hours a day during the week. He watches cartoons only so I’m not concerned about the screen time. We read during homework time each day so he’s not behind. In fact they told us that Munch reads above grade level. Not surprised. His dad and I did so it’s not a big deal. He likes the Ipad, but if he acts up, it is taken away along with television and he truly misses it. No time out or no spanking. We take away what he loves most. Note: Find what works for you.
  • Multiple activities – When he was younger, I put him in activities that I thought he would enjoy. He was a toddler. He didn’t know what he would like. As he grew older, he decided that he hated Tae Kwan Do and didn’t want to do it anymore. So, we stopped. Munch made the decision that the only activities that he would like to do are: swim lessons, guitar lessons and soccer in the Spring. No fall soccer. We let him decide and we tend to stick to the schedule he wants. So, nope I’m not over-scheduling my son. Note:  Let your children lead you with this one.
  • Sleep time – The recommended amount of sleep time for Munch is 10-11 hours. Can I tell you that he never slept that long unless he’s sick and on sleep medication or truly exhausted? That has been a total of 4 times in his 8 years on this Earth. Because I get him home from school around 6:15 pm, he’s eating dinner between 6:45 and 7:00 pm. We then do homework from 7:30 pm to 8:30 – 8:45 pm. We do bath and play time before shutting it down. Munch will get one hour where he’ll watch his TV and sit and draw characters from his Ipad. Lights out at 10pm. He sleeps until 6:45 am. He sleeps between 8 and 9 hours. It depends on him. Note:  As long as he’s not falling asleep in class, he’ll be fine.

My point is this…you do the best that you can. You find what works for your children and you adjust as necessary. Don’t stress yourself that you’re not following the expert’s recommendations. As long as your children are happy, healthy and thriving and you’re doing your best focus on that. Allow your children to lead you into their interests. We’ve got this parenting thing!

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Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links:  Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Motivational Monday Moment – 2/20/17

My Motivational Monday Moment is about protecting your heart. This came to me as I was talking to my therapist last week about cutting people out of my life. I explained to her how I decided that I’m done with a couple of people and that I’ve blocked them from my phone and released them from my heart.

She asked me why I don’t tell them why I’m ending the relationship. I told her that I didn’t need too. I told her that people know what they do when they blow up at you or disrespect you via email or text. They are not stupid. If I go and tell them what they did and they start that disrespect again then I’m working myself up over their own issues and I’m stressed. Not going to happen.

I told her that when I let you go I release you from my heart so there is no need for me to have closure. I move on and move forward. I harbor no ill will or feelings. She said “Okay, as long as it doesn’t affect you.”

I was telling Mr. C what we talked about and I asked him his thoughts. He said he understood what I was saying. I asked him “If I stopped speaking to you tomorrow, would you know why?” He said “Yes”.

Boom.

There it is.

People know when they display toxic behaviors in relationships and why they are no longer welcome in healthy relationships. I believe that by giving you another opportunity to disrespect me is allowing you one more time to stress me out. Not going to do it. That’s what therapy is for.

However, the words of my therapist played in my head all day. Is it possible that I need to give closure? Is there a proper way of ending relationships? Ugh!

The next morning I got up and read my devotional and it spoke of Proverbs 4:20-23:

Proverbs 4:20-23 (NRSV)

20 My child, be attentive to my words;
    incline your ear to my sayings.
21 Do not let them escape from your sight;
    keep them within your heart.
22 For they are life to those who find them,
    and healing to all their flesh.
23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
    for from it flow the springs of life.

The writer was telling me that it is important to guard your heart. It is the very essence of who you are. This was my confirmation that I didn’t need to give closure to people via email or text or verbally after they unload on me. I was protecting my heart.

The thing we need to remember is that when we allow people into our lives that sometimes their purpose is for a reason or season. We can’t allow people to bring toxicity into our lives and be able to protect our heart from that. We can’t. Eventually that will spread into our lives.

By releasing people from any obligation to continue in this relationship, I am protecting my heart. I’m doing what’s best for me. I don’t harbor any ill will or bitterness. Things end. I wish people the best as they move forward. Without me.

I encourage you today to protect your heart. Do not allow negative thoughts to set up shop in your heart. Release people from any obligation to stay in your life and free yourself from toxic things. Your heart matters. You matter.

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Things I Let Go

In 2017,  I realized that I wasn’t going to carry other people’s baggage anymore. I’m living proof that you have to go through things in order to get to your happiness. I’m in a happy place. But, I don’t take it for granted.

What I used to do was carry the baggage of others. I would allow them to dump their problems/issues on me and then try to make them feel better. Umm, not going to happen in 2017.

What I realized is that I can’t carry someone else’s baggage. As my girlfriend said “You don’t work for the airlines boo. Tell them to carry their own bags.” No truer words.

I’ve spent much of my life trying to people please. I tend to excuse the negative behaviors of those I love because they may be going through something. Not anymore.

I don’t have the time nor the energy to be anyone’s clean-up woman. I have a wonderful life with a beautiful son and a great man. I have many activities and projects that I’m working on. I don’t have time for the unresolved drama of others.

I know it may seem harsh. But, I can’t. I won’t. And neither should you.

I understand that the world has many people with issues, but I’m in therapy and working on mine. I can’t be around people who are not doing the same. I’m trying  to be better for myself, for my son and for my man. I can’t deal with those that are practicing avoidance.

Life is too short. Let go and get help.