Day 14: Lessons Learned

I am human. I will make mistakes. We all will. But, I’m thankful for the lessons learned. In all that I do, I try to see what the lesson is that I was supposed to learn. Many times I discover it and I’m thankful for it.

That’s what life is about. Learning lessons. Learning in spite of your trials and tribulations. Learning through your pain. It’s hard. I know. I’ve been there.

But, there is always a lesson and it will get better. No matter what you are going through there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You may not be able to see it but it is there. When you get to the end, make sure you share your story because someone else may benefit from your story of triumph.

Be a blessing to others and learn the lesson that you were supposed to learn. It’s day 14 and I’m thankful for lessons learned in my #23daysofthankfulness.

lessons-learned-chalkboard

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

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You Have The Power

I wanted to share a #WednesdayWisdom message with you. My message is simply:

You Have The Power

You have the power to determine the path that your life will take. You have the power to engage in foolishness and you have the power to disengage from it as well. A lot of times we feel helpless in the sense that we feel we must do what society believes we should do and what we truly want to do. Do you boo.

You have the power to decide what the path is that you want to take. No one else can or should decide it for you. Don’t let people tell you that you have to do something you just don’t want to do. Let me give you some examples.

Example 1: I’m a firm believer in not wasting my time. Time is something I can never get back. I don’t like wasting my time. Time is more valuable to me than money. You can always earn back money, but you can’t get time once it is wasted. One of the things that I do to make sure that I don’t waste time is to create a mental check list of what things are working for me and what things aren’t. I then decide whether or not I will continue to engage in those things that aren’t yielding results or move on. The result: I’ve moved on a lot in the last few years.

Example 2: Not responding. I used to believe that everything required a response. If you said something out of your mouth to me sideways, I had to respond. If you wrote me an email with some BS, I had to respond. If you said something about me behind my back, I had to respond. You see the issue right? I was always responding. Feeling the need to defend myself, character or actions. Nope, not anymore. With age comes wisdom.  The result: I don’t respond. My ignore game is strong.

Example 3: You should be nice to people that have wronged you. Nope! Not at all. Wait one minute. Why would you be nice to someone who mistreats you? Who told you that you should keep killing them with kindness? Probably your nice relatives right? Grandma, mom or Aunt Susie Mae? I don’t subscribe to this philosophy anymore. It has negative consequences for you. Your health matters. You matter. If someone is treating you like crap, why would you keep being nice to them, being the bigger person, extending an olive branch or even speaking to them? I’m not suggesting be mean. On the contrary. I’m speaking about protecting you and putting your needs first. The result: Like Cardi B sings in her new song Bodak Yellow: “If I see you and I don’t speak – That means I don’t f*ck with you” The result: I no longer feel obligated to be nice to those that have hurt me. I don’t speak. I don’t engage. I speak when I need and/or want too.

I’m all about encouraging you to live the best possible life. You can’t live that life if you are falling victim to societal norms and expectations about how you should behave when people mistreat you. You have to choose you. You have to take back the power. Turn the other cheek and keep it moving. Don’t waste your time, your response or your voice. Choose you.

Stay strong loves!

 

Want to keep in touch? You can find me on social media at the following links: Twitter @mskeeinmd, Facebook page A Thomas Point of View and my Instagram page https://www.instagram.com/mskeeinmd/.

Change is Good

Last week I read Michelle Malone’s post where she said “Today I challenge you to seek, identify, and track the signs of change in your life rather than ignoring them.” I was inspired. Inspired to do what? To do what she suggested – seek, identify and track the signs of change in your life.

Here’s what I discovered about myself when I set about the challenge. I learned that when I seek ways to change, I actually allow myself to grow. Grow because I realized that I’m never too old to learn and that it’s okay if I change my mind. I’m a woman and I can change my mind as many times as I want. LOL.  That being said. I wanted to share 5 things with you that I learned this last week about myself.

5 Signs that I’m Changing:

  1. Forgiveness. This was a hard one for me, but I’m actually thankful that I’m able to forgive my dad and spend time with him. When I was home last week I took him to lunch, gave him a birthday card with some money and took care of some of his wants. Forgiveness of all the years of pain and absence allowed me the ability to do this. That’s growth.
  2. Listen more. Speak less. Some would argue that I don’t do that, but I promise you that I am doing that. I’m learning that in order to communicate that I need to spend more time listening and truly hearing what is being said. I’m also learning that not everything deserves a response. Sometimes more can be conquered when you don’t respond at all.
  3. Accepting others at face value. I have little faith in humanity. I’ve seen too much. I’ve experienced too much, but I’m learning that I need to trust more. To love more. To believe more. To try and see the good in others up front and accept what they say at face value. At least until they disappoint me. But, learning to have a discerning spirit is important and not trying to just see the bad in people has allowed me to grow and change.
  4. Advise when needed. I’m learning that just because someone comes to you with an issue doesn’t mean that they want you to respond and advise them of what they should do. I admit that I do that all the time. I am learning to advise only when requested and then apply #2.
  5. Spend time freely. As I’ve aged I realized that I do need to spend quality time with my family and friends. I have brunches, lunches and dinners with friends and take trips home to Tennessee to visit my dad and extended family. This is important because it gives Munch and I time to reconnect. I can’t get so consumed with the day to day that I neglect the folks who haven’t seen me.

There is another way that I just realized that I’m changing and I will share that with you later because it is important. It was my Aha! moment. I’ve learned a lot about myself and how I operate and all I can say is that I am a work I progress.  I’m still seeking ways to acknowledge my changes becaue it shows that I’m growing. Have you sought, identified and/or tracked your changes?